Easiest way to get over one MAN is to date ANOTHER...


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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #1  January 26,2012, 4:03pm
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Well, at least that's what my therapist told me! Seriously. After my divorce, went to counseling and this is exactly what he told me .

Guess, I'm taking that to heart! Oh, well... let the stories begin.

Activated my profile and have a couple of dates lined up. A little sad because TD is gone, but I agree with the thoughts and feedback of the people on this board... just had to get a good shake to wake myself up! That's what I get for falling so fast!!

But, logic was eventually going to set in at some point. Glad that it happened sooner rather than later, and I'm getting back out there.

Wish me luck!

or... I could be crazy (the thought has crossed my mind!) and should just take a break. But, I feel I might as well go for it.
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #2  January 26,2012, 4:08pm
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You have to do what is right for you...For me, whenever I've been in a relationship where both sex and being in love were involved...I definitely took time afterwards to reflect and see where my part in the demise of the relationship was. As well as just let my heart heal so that I can be 100% open to someone new.

I could never do that within a week or so....I'm just slow that way!...LOL...

Good luck with everything...
 
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Special-K is offline Special-K Post #3  January 26,2012, 4:16pm
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Maybe it's just me, Jus, but I have a really hard time "getting back out there" when something that meant something to me ends.

After my last failed relationship (or attempt thereof), my knee-jerk reaction was to get back on the horse. I realized (pretty quickly, I might add) that all I was doing was distracting myself... I couldn't *feel* anything. So, I took down my profile. Then, I met someone IRL. Under normal circumstances, I might be excited about him (even if just a little), but... meh, notta!

I know that I can't get excited about someone if I'm not putting myself out there to find him, but I can't even bring myself to want to do that.

Anyway, good luck!
 
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Special-K is offline Special-K Post #4  January 26,2012, 4:17pm
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is happier than if it was a 'no boss Friday' going into a three-day weekend... :-)

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Dupe
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #5  January 26,2012, 4:17pm
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Agree with the OP.

To suggest the opposite is to say that the best way to get over a bad job is a long spell of unemployment. How utterly dumb.
 
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Goomph is offline Goomph — Advice Member-Moderator Post #6  January 26,2012, 4:34pm
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Well ....

I had something going on blah blah blah .... and it wasn't meant to be, and I wasn't and I am not proud of it, and we finished it after a year. But I just couldn't get her out of my mind .....

The only thing which really helped me move on was to start dating again ..... Maybe there is some truth to it ? I am a pretty self disciplined person, who knows himself in and out, the emotions I had were just not dying. I am just saying that we are all different and maybe this works for some people ?
 
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AngelDollFace is offline AngelDollFace Post #7  January 26,2012, 4:44pm
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I tried this. The first time... after my divorce I jumped into a relationship with a guy because he was more affectionate than my husband had been... I just threw myself into this hoping it would cure my divorce pain...that guy ended up being a cheater... Got out of that bad relationship (he broke up with me) and then I got immediately into another relationship with a guy who seemed so much better- he was affectionate and faithful so I just jumped right in- he had qualities my last two guys lacked so he must be "the one" right? Wrong... he ended up being physically abusive- pushed me so hard I broke my foot and fractured my arm and all because I suggested he try a different career path because he wasn't happy in the job he already had. Anyhow... you're emotionally vulnerable after a break up in a major way... sure you can jump into a relationship feeling love starved for the things your last partner didn't give you... but because you're so love starved and eager to get over your ex you just might push yourself to fall in love with a bad guy ... simply because you feel you 'need someone'.

My point: After my last break up I took time to heal and didn't rush into something else and my self esteem went way up... also I hunt for red flags when I am on dates... I no longer ignore the bad signs early on... letting myself have time to heal made me stronger and independent and I now I know I don't have to settle for less than I deserve and I won't... I promise you that.
Last edited by AngelDollFace; January 26,2012 at 5:29pm.
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #8  January 26,2012, 5:24pm
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Sorry to hear about the string of bad relationships angel...

I didn't mean though just jump into a relationship with anyone or the first guy that comes along to keep a warm body with you, or if you just don't want to be alone... I mean still holding your standards high, but also not having to go on hiatus... for the sake of waiting.
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #9  January 26,2012, 5:24pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Agree with the OP.

To suggest the opposite is to say that the best way to get over a bad job is a long spell of unemployment. How utterly dumb.
And to suggest that one's job is exactly like a love relationship is 'utterly dumb'...LOL
 
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MileHighArtist is offline MileHighArtist Post #10  January 26,2012, 5:26pm
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Isn't this called ''rebound''? Generally, not healthy.
 
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