How long should I wait for him to call after a first date?!


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dmbsunset is offline dmbsunset Post #1  January 25,2012, 5:59pm
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So - even though I am in my early 30's, I am still relatively new to this whole dating thing. In the past I have always been in relationships with guys who were my friends first, so I didn't really need to worry about something like when will he call me back...

I made it to OC with this great guy. Took awhile...the first set of questions was sent on 12/24, and we met almost a month later. Through the GC process, he generally took 3-5 days to respond. We each sent two emails, and then he gave me his number. We talked on the phone for the first time for over two hours and he officially asked me out.

We met for dinner the other night. I thought we really hit it off - we talked a lot, and I was disappointed once the bill came because I didn't feel like either of us was ready for the date to end. We ended up staying and talking for at least an hour and a half after he paid the bill - a 3 hour dinner date.

When we left, I gave him a hug - no kiss. I didn't snub him or anything...the hug might have been a little quick, but I was nervous because the date went so well. After the hug we chatted for a few more minutes and he asked me what I was up to this week. That lead me to believe that maybe we would go out again one night this week, or he would at least attempt to call.

I texted him on Monday thanking him again for dinner, and he responded that we should do it again. Didn't say when or anything, but threw it out there. I agreed and said we should. I have not heard back from him since then. Today is the official 3rd day since our date - and I know some guys follow the "3 day rule" when it comes to calling a girl after a first date. When he asked me what I was up to this week, the only day I mentioned I was busy was Thursday, so if I don't get a call tonight I am guessing it won't happen before the weekend.

But to get back to the point of my post...how long should I wait for him to call me? Will I come off as desperate if I call or text him to see if he wants to meet up again? These "rules" don't make much sense to me so any help is appreciated .
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  January 25,2012, 6:13pm
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If he planned and paid the first meeting, it is now your turn.
 
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scully98 is offline scully98 Post #3  January 25,2012, 7:37pm
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I don't agree with dlion. I think a guy needs to ask out a woman for the second date. a guy who is interested in a woman will do this (well, any guy other than dlion.)

you texted and thanked him. he responded positively. any further action on your part will look desperate. sounds like this guy moves slowly given the month it took you to meet, so it might be another few days before he asks you out. if ever. sometimes guys say that and don't mean it.
 
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RockyRaccoon83 is offline RockyRaccoon83 Post #4  January 26,2012, 12:29am
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Ball's in his court. It's a man's job to lead, at least in these beginning stages. If he doesn't ask you out again, it's a pretty clear signal that he's just not that into you.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #5  January 26,2012, 4:11am
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When a guy is interested, he won't wait around. Two, three days at the extreme max. If he is not calling you, he is not interested. If he calls you days down the road, you are his back up toy for when more interesting dates fall through.
 
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scully98 is offline scully98 Post #6  January 26,2012, 4:21am
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yes, dancingfool makes a good point. a guy who waits more than two or three days to contact you is dating others and using you as backup. that was my thought about him taking 3-4 days for each stage of GC. sounded like a guy going slow on purpose.
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #7  January 26,2012, 5:13am
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sltpsu15 wrote :
But to get back to the point of my post...how long should I wait for him to call me? Will I come off as desperate if I call or text him to see if he wants to meet up again?
No, you won't come off as desperate. You'll come off as interested. If you want to talk to someone on the phone, call them. Don't wait for them to call you.
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #8  January 26,2012, 5:16am
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RockyRaccoon83 wrote :
Ball's in his court. It's a man's job to lead
Puh-lease. This isn't 1955, and she's in her early 30's. Nobody I know in her demographic adheres to old gender roles regarding the telephone or asking for dates.
 
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LongLocks is offline LongLocks Post #9  January 26,2012, 5:17am
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Usually, if a guy doesn't call back within 3 days, he isn't interested. Just keep meeting others. In the meantime, who knows, you may hear back from the first guy.
 
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scully98 is offline scully98 Post #10  January 26,2012, 5:30am
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nick, put yourself in this situation. one date. she texts. you mention you'd like to do it again and she agrees but you don't ask her out. why would you not be asking her out? or would you, if interested, be planning a second date?
 
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