Ladies, what is going through your mind during date #3?


Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Newbie12 is offline Newbie12 Post #1  January 24,2012, 9:00am
Newbie12's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jan 2012

new york, NY

Posts: 11

See profile

No, I am not (solely) referring to the potential sex thing, but rather something deeper. By date 3, are women sizing up the guy for real relationship potential, or is it still too nascent? We're mid-20s and no kids or anything. Have really clicked (almost uncanny), and we shared a quick kiss at end of date #2.

In case you didn't see my other posts, I'm new to online dating and have really hit it off with this girl--she is planning our third date. Which is Thursday night (she's a nurse and off on Fridays). We've covered all the conversational basics (family, hobbies, et al.) So I guess I'm wondering what else girls are interested in learning now--talking about hopes and dreams just sounds cheesy to me! I get the "be yourself" part, but just looking for some more great pointers like y'all offered when I was anxious about date #2.

N.B. she cleaned out her eH profile a couple of days ago.. Erased pics and lots of info. What could this possibly indicate? Coincidence? Too ambiguous to evaluate? Tired of creepers?

I promise I'm smarter than a 3rd grader--wrote this from my phone so please excuse any incoherence!
 
  Reply With Quote
Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  January 24,2012, 2:42pm
Sassafras54's Avatar

Your Community Coordinator

Moderator

Joined: Oct 2009

San Pedro, CA

Posts: 9,080

See profile

By a 3rd date, I'm still in the basic getting-to-know-you stage. So no, I'm not there yet in terms of deciding "this has longterm potential".

However. There wouldn't be a 3rd date happening if I already knew this is going nowhere. So it's a good sign that she's not only agreeing to a 3rd date but is doing the planning.

I suggest you just interact with each other "in the moment" -- don't have a list of topics to explore. Talk about whatever pops up. (If it's an activity date, that's easier, since the activity naturally gives you things to talk about.) "In the moment" you will see how the 2 of you click or gibe, where there are little mismatches, whether it feels good or neutral or bad. If you stick to pre-planned topics you close the door on spontaneity and letting things evolve.

And have fun!
 
  Reply With Quote
barbarella_42 is offline barbarella_42 Post #3  January 24,2012, 2:59pm
barbarella_42's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Nov 2011

Posts: 243

See profile

At that point, I'm enjoying getting to know the other person. If I really like him, I have butterflies. I don't think beyond that just three dates in.
 
  Reply With Quote
smileygirl is offline smileygirl Post #4  January 24,2012, 3:10pm
smileygirl's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Nov 2010

Posts: 210

See profile

It should be fun and relaxed. And if the moment is right maybe a great kiss to see if there is any chemistry too.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  January 24,2012, 3:45pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

Newbie12 wrote :
No, I am not (solely) referring to the potential sex thing, but rather something deeper. By date 3, are women sizing up the guy for real relationship potential, or is it still too nascent? We're mid-20s and no kids or anything. Have really clicked (almost uncanny), and we shared a quick kiss at end of date #2.

In case you didn't see my other posts, I'm new to online dating and have really hit it off with this girl--she is planning our third date. Which is Thursday night (she's a nurse and off on Fridays). We've covered all the conversational basics (family, hobbies, et al.) So I guess I'm wondering what else girls are interested in learning now--talking about hopes and dreams just sounds cheesy to me! I get the "be yourself" part, but just looking for some more great pointers like y'all offered when I was anxious about date #2.

N.B. she cleaned out her eH profile a couple of days ago.. Erased pics and lots of info. What could this possibly indicate? Coincidence? Too ambiguous to evaluate? Tired of creepers?
It means that her subscription is expiring and she can't figure out how to delete her profile so she is just making it essentially a blank profile. Unless she has turned off matching she is still going to be getting matched and receive matches.

I promise I'm smarter than a 3rd grader--wrote this from my phone so please excuse any incoherence!
For having typed this on a phone you did very well.
As for what she (or any woman) is thinking or looking for on the third date I am clueless. Even more so than you. I will now go and read what all the women post on this thread
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  January 24,2012, 3:51pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

Sassafras54 wrote :
By a 3rd date, I'm still in the basic getting-to-know-you stage. So no, I'm not there yet in terms of deciding "this has long term potential".

However. There wouldn't be a 3rd date happening if I already knew this is going nowhere. So it's a good sign that she's not only agreeing to a 3rd date but is doing the planning.
Maybe I am just stoopid (pretty much a given) but I see the above two statements as being contradictory.

I suggest you just interact with each other "in the moment" -- don't have a list of topics to explore. Talk about whatever pops up (when she sits upon your lap) (Sorry, you set it up for me ) . (If it's an activity date, that's easier, since the activity naturally gives you things to talk about.) "In the moment" you will see how the 2 of you click or gibe, where there are little mismatches, whether it feels good or neutral or bad. If you stick to pre-planned topics you close the door on spontaneity and letting things evolve.

And have fun!
 
  Reply With Quote
brokensmile76 is offline brokensmile76 Post #7  January 24,2012, 4:02pm
brokensmile76's Avatar

...the greatest above these things is love.

Enthusiast

Joined: Apr 2011

CA

Posts: 622

See profile

I think it's a good sign she cleared out her profile. It doesn't mean she thinks you're in a relationship with her but I think she is saying she definitely wants to only get to know you and prefers not to chat with or meet other men right now. Nothing wrong with that!
 
  Reply With Quote
Newbie12 is offline Newbie12 Post #8  January 24,2012, 6:44pm
Newbie12's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jan 2012

new york, NY

Posts: 11

See profile

brokensmile76 wrote :
I think it's a good sign she cleared out her profile. It doesn't mean she thinks you're in a relationship with her but I think she is saying she definitely wants to only get to know you and prefers not to chat with or meet other men right now. Nothing wrong with that!
Definitely Like the sound of this...hope you're right!
 
  Reply With Quote
Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #9  January 25,2012, 4:08am
Wiseman2's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 6,305

See profile

There is still evaluating going on from both sides at date #3, same as evaluating every step of the way...profile,1st meet-up, 2nd date, etc.

After a few dates...or more experience (feed back from dates etc.)...people do tend to tweak and update their profiles.

The profile updates make sense because she wants to continue to use the site and keep her profile fine-tuned....Good Luck..
Newbie12 wrote :
By date 3, are women sizing up the guy for real relationship potential
she cleaned out her eH profile a couple of days ago.. Erased pics and lots of info
 
  Reply With Quote
BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #10  January 25,2012, 4:44am
BikerBeagle's Avatar

thinks everyone should just ask themselves, WWBBD?

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2008

Kansas

Posts: 2,548

See profile

As a general rule, and for future reference, it is never a good idea to ask women to explain their plans and intentions ...because, chances are, they aren't going to be anywhere close to the truth.

You'll get answers like, "the most important thing I want in a man is honesty and a sense of humor"
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3


« Don't be a nice guy, be a good guy.. | Dating | Random encounters in real life: Should I move slower? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Why don't guys say "Thank You" after a date? Xable Dating 96 October 12,2011 7:31pm
Ladies: Easy to say, "No thanks" at the end of the date? chimerical Dating 69 September 27,2010 7:28am
Askin for the next date. First date versus second date. shoopthedoop Dating 8 September 24,2010 7:19pm
why is he not asking me for a date - should I do it? scully98 Dating 20 August 28,2010 10:17am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I did answer and then also updated with news that I was premature - there is no relationship after all.” –  picklesNcream

Join the “Blast off...!” discussion

“For dating. I'm basically in a (lifelong) rut that I would like to get out of. Sadly, my good friends are also in the same place as I am - if not worse. The topic of women is non existent among ... ” –  JohnNorthSydney

Join the “So I've been thinking about getting a coach.” discussion

“I need some advice. I'm 18, never kissed/dated a girl nor obviously had a girlfriend. I just finished my first year at a top 30 university (full ride scholarship) with a 4.0 GPA. Starting my ... ” –  jrw93

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“The point is no me seeing their photos, I can see their photos; it is them seeing my photos. This means nothing can be gauged by any interest they show to you. On FCW I've noticed the non-paying ... ” –  JohnNorthSydney

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“TD, Have you PM'd eH_Advice_Host_Eve to ask her for help? She is good at helping people tweak their settings so they are more likely to get the results they want. Please consider contacting her if ... ” –  tink333

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Did you know OT stands for on topic and off topic?” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “Off -Topic” discussion

“My inner child says I am. Anastasia is intriguing. (Her name too). I like the dress she's wearing in the ad. I wonder how eHarmony picks the couples for their print and TV ads.” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “Where is Becky?!?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 6:17am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0