'Not ready for a relationship' - Can it ever be true?

Thanks fore the responses. I agree that he needs to be given space, I also agree that if he truly felt something he'd probably try and make it work. But I know for a fact he isn't dating around, at least not right now.

Regardless, he did say he wants us to stay friends. And, as unlikely as it sounds, I would be happy with that too. Of course, secretly wishing something more would develop, but I really would just be happy with him being in my life as a friend and to provide him some support.

Now, do you think I should wait for him to contact me to be "friends"? Or would be it be ok for me to tell him I am happy with us hanging out as friends and just take it from there?

Thanks for the responses and advice. While I may have blurted it out, I am realistically trying not to cling onto hope that he will ever be ready for us to get back together. I am increasingly coming to terms with the (hurtful) reality that I am just not the person he wants to spend his future with. And that will be fine. I do want to stay in his life as a support system, and as a good friend, though, and I do mean it.

What I have a harder time grasping, however, is the quick U-turn in the way we communicated. I assume this may have something to do with the "no relationship" talk, but why? We used to chat often, even if via text, and he initiated plans to do something together, and the next day - just like that, he is gone. Gone is our communication, the laughter and the general friendliness. When he said "I am not ready to commit but I'd love to stay friends" I did tell him that, while I may find it hard initially, I am always here if he needs a friend.

What followed - was nothing. Granted, it has only been a day, but I am thinking ahead and drawing up these worst case scenarios. How can someone go from being so close to showing what appears to be zero interest in communication or staying in touch? Is that what happens?

Even when we had this discussion, we were sweet to each other and there was never any argument.

I am aware he needs space, and I am prepared to give it to him. I also have very little experience in the realm of going from affectionate to zero in one day - without there ever having been any conflict. I don't know, perhaps he needs some time to process the "just friends" thing.

By the way, he took down his profile when we met, and as of today, it is still down.

olneyjeeps - very, very interesting last response. I agree that there is never a "not ready time", especially after you have shown ability to be affectionate. There is only a "not ready with you" time. But such is life.

In response to your query, he did start out by saying he doesn't feel stable with all going through (past drugs, traumas... etc etc), and then he did add that he thinks I am terribly amazing - in his own words "gorgeous, smart, successful, funny - and honestly I feel like I bit off more than I can chew."

I didn't make much of it because I just thought he was being nice so as not to hurt me even further, but as things are - I am (and pardon for the arrogant tone this will come across in) more educated than him, have a much better job, make more money, have my own place etc. Now, I don't want to appear arrogant - but I just thought whether there may be anything there?

I really don't see why there should - we liked each other, but I just wanted to add that.

us to get back together.

I am just not the person he wants to spend his future with.

U-turn in the way we communicated. I assume this may have something to do with the "no relationship" talk, but why?

What I have a harder time grasping, however, is the quick U-turn in the way we communicated. I assume this may have something to do with the "no relationship" talk, but why? We used to chat often, even if via text, and he initiated plans to do something together, and the next day - just like that, he is gone. Gone is our communication, the laughter and the general friendliness. When he said "I am not ready to commit but I'd love to stay friends" I did tell him that, while I may find it hard initially, I am always here if he needs a friend.

What followed - was nothing. Granted, it has only been a day, but I am thinking ahead and drawing up these worst case scenarios. How can someone go from being so close to showing what appears to be zero interest in communication or staying in touch? Is that what happens?

Even when we had this discussion, we were sweet to each other and there was never any argument.

I'll add my 2 cents. There have been two matches I've had (one was a date, one was a serious bunch of phone conversations) that both gave me the "not ready to date" line and in both cases knowing how busy their lives were between grad school, jobs, friends, and family... I could honestly see it as an honest reason and not blowing me off. The woman that I went on the date with sent me a really sweet email and honestly thanked me... Both are currently inactive with their EHarmony accounts. So as easy as it can be to see "not ready" as a copout, I think some people honestly don't think things through all the way about what a committed relationship entails before they enroll. ....

Or they met someone else who they are now dating thus causing themselves to appear "inactive" but spun you the line about not being ready for a relationship.

I wouldn't believe the 'not ready' line but I would take it as rejection and simply delete and move on. I've yet to join a dating sites only to discover I'm "not ready"!