When is the girl's turn to plan a date?


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meanminicooper is offline meanminicooper Post #11  January 24,2012, 3:55am
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I would say that the first or 2nd date should be largely planned with male input but by the 4th or 5th date, it is probably time that the woman put in some input, or take the reins.

If you texted him, "Why dont you come over after work and I'll make you dinner?" it would probably be music to his ears.
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #12  January 24,2012, 4:22am
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LongLocks wrote :
Next time you text, let him know the next time you go out that it's your treat.
She said "plan", not "treat" ...assuming she said one and meant the other is not an assumption I would make.

meanminicooper wrote :
If you texted him, "Why dont you come over after work and I'll make you dinner?" it would probably be music to his ears.
As a general rule to all women everywhere, do not invite a guy over to your house (and do not accept an invitation to his) unless you are ready to have sex with him. Anything short of that is a recipe for being put in an - at best - uncomfortable position caused by sending the wrong or mixed signals.
 
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LongLocks is offline LongLocks Post #13  January 24,2012, 7:12am
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BikerBeagle wrote :
She said "plan", not "treat" ...assuming she said one and meant the other is not an assumption I would make.
Oh, right! In that case, she should "plan" and "pay" for the next date.
 
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KikiAZ is offline KikiAZ Post #14  January 24,2012, 7:36am
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I think, generally, it behooves a woman to plan and pay for a date OR do something to actively display that the interest is mutual no later than the 4-5th date.

This may not work with older guys. It may be that bringing him cookies/doing a picnic/a book you talked about/buying the snacks at the movies or something similar is sufficient. With the idea of moving toward mutuality...
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #15  January 24,2012, 7:48am
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havetobeyou wrote :
This morning i got his email telling me "i want to see you soon again", so i replied i hope to see you soon... that was this morning, i haven't recevied anything from him the whole day.
It's possible that you need to learn to chill out a bit and not expect instant, constant, immediate communication. People generally have a life and obligations outside of you.

Having said that, after 4-5 dates, yes you should be showing more initiative than just a passive I want to see you too e-mail. Fortunately, it's not too late and you can easily send him an e-mail today with actual specific plans for a date, including time and activity.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #16  January 24,2012, 9:34am
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havetobeyou wrote :
...shall I send another email today to suggest something?

Thanks for any inputs!
yes and I don't understand why you are debating this.
 
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meanminicooper is offline meanminicooper Post #17  January 24,2012, 1:13pm
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BikerBeagle wrote :
She said "plan", not "treat" ...assuming she said one and meant the other is not an assumption I would make.

As a general rule to all women everywhere, do not invite a guy over to your house (and do not accept an invitation to his) unless you are ready to have sex with him. Anything short of that is a recipe for being put in an - at best - uncomfortable position caused by sending the wrong or mixed signals.
In what word do you live in that inviting someone for dinner is a sex invitation? Sounds to me like one or two skeezy individuals ruin it for the rest of people who know how to act like adults.
 
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ForwardUntoDawn is offline ForwardUntoDawn Post #18  January 24,2012, 2:26pm
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BikerBeagle wrote :
She said "plan", not "treat" ...assuming she said one and meant the other is not an assumption I would make.

As a general rule to all women everywhere, do not invite a guy over to your house (and do not accept an invitation to his) unless you are ready to have sex with him. Anything short of that is a recipe for being put in an - at best - uncomfortable position caused by sending the wrong or mixed signals.
No it is not !

Showing up for dinner at someones home for a date has no other connotation, and has no mixed signal
the only way that could be a mixed signal is if the lady shows up wearing nothing but lingerie, and only wanted to play scrabble would be a mixed signal
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #19  January 24,2012, 3:46pm
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I think what BikerBeagle is saying is that if a woman is in a man's home (or he in her's), then he is likely to make a move on her. (Or, more likely than if he is not.)

Not that it matters, since intimacy is the keystone in a budding relationship, and is therefore something which sould be sought. With that though, I do agree with being prepared to be intimate, or prepared to reject it, politely and appreciatively, if received. It is also possible her partner will perceive that as her intent with the invitation - though again, I see no downside to that. At five meetings, it would be well overdue, my the norm of myself and my peers.

In my view, a more reciprocal offer is the wiser choice. (One matching the style of the meetings which occured so far.)
 
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