Surprised because I thought it was over.


Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
OuterSpaceAlien is offline OuterSpaceAlien Post #1  January 21,2012, 3:01pm
OuterSpaceAli…'s Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jan 2012

Los Angeles

Posts: 15

See profile

After doing some reading on good dating etiquette on eHA. Some great advice BTW. I decided to send a final msg to a match that I'd actually met a few times in IRL telling her I was about to close the match since there'd been no contact from her for 2 weeks. I do this to get closure and to ensure feelings aren't hurt (can't say mine weren't). She replied the same day saying she really had been busy and would like a chance to explain over coffee. I almost fell out of my chair. TBH she does seem to have a very busy schedule but then again zero contact for almost 2 weeks.

Curiosity killed the cat, they say, but the cat does have 9 lives. What does everybody think? Should I just move on?
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  January 21,2012, 3:07pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,679

See profile

I'd probably meet her, guardedly.

For me, I'd be looking for a full, nice dinner to justify the time and travel. So, I'd counter-propose her coffee for a dinner. If she refused, I'd probably give up (for a compatibility mis-match.)

As far as I'm concerned, anything prior to the meeting is bla-bla-bla, and the clock starts on availability once we sit down and pick up our fork.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #3  January 21,2012, 3:40pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
I'd probably meet her, guardedly.

For me, I'd be looking for a full, nice dinner to justify the time and travel. So, I'd counter-propose her coffee for a dinner. If she refused, I'd probably give up (for a compatibility mis-match.)

As far as I'm concerned, anything prior to the meeting is bla-bla-bla, and the clock starts on availability once we sit down and pick up our fork.
Uh, he has met her a "few times" already.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  January 21,2012, 3:46pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

I have two thoughts about this:
1) You MAKE time for what is important to you. To me anyone that cant take one or two minutes out of their busy life to send me an e-mail to say "Hi, thinking of you. I am having a crisis at work please bear with me." is just not making me or her dating life a very high priority in their life.
2) I'm desperate so I would go but I would not hold out a whole lot of hope for anything to really progress.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #5  January 21,2012, 4:21pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,679

See profile

Oh, my bad.

After having met, I do expect to be informed about schedules. I can live without between-meeting communication, though I'd expect replies if I do send a message.

For me, with a preferance for busy professionals and a history of evening students, the two week gap is no problem, in and of itself, so long as I was kept informed.

I would still push for a longer meeting than coffee.
 
  Reply With Quote
MileHighArtist is offline MileHighArtist Post #6  January 21,2012, 4:25pm
MileHighArtis…'s Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: Sep 2008

Posts: 316

See profile

Actually, satisfaction brought it back (the cat that is).

Anyways, if this woman was really interested in you after a couple meetings she'd respond quickly either email or text or phone saying that such and such is going on with work or family or etc but she wouldn't take 2 weeks to get back to you.

Most likely, she was seeing another guy and thought it was going to work out, and was keeping you on the back burner in case it didn't, which I would wager is the case.

If you're *REALLY* interested in her then meet up,but go for the coffee not the dinner. If she poofs again you won't be wasting your time/money on her.

OuterSpaceAlien wrote :
After doing some reading on good dating etiquette on eHA. Some great advice BTW. I decided to send a final msg to a match that I'd actually met a few times in IRL telling her I was about to close the match since there'd been no contact from her for 2 weeks. I do this to get closure and to ensure feelings aren't hurt (can't say mine weren't). She replied the same day saying she really had been busy and would like a chance to explain over coffee. I almost fell out of my chair. TBH she does seem to have a very busy schedule but then again zero contact for almost 2 weeks.

Curiosity killed the cat, they say, but the cat does have 9 lives. What does everybody think? Should I just move on?
 
  Reply With Quote
Reverse_Dragon is offline Reverse_Dragon Post #7  January 21,2012, 6:18pm
Reverse_Drago…'s Avatar

w00t w00t! I is getting married! Success at last.

Enthusiast

Joined: Aug 2011

Louisville, KY

Posts: 693

See profile

MileHigh, if you think two weeks without contact is such a big deal you have obviously never worked full time while in graduate school. I'm in a LTR and we sometimes go that long without talking, but I don't assume she's seeing someone else or suddenly disinterested.

I'd go with D_Lion on this one. Go to dinner or something and see what she has to say. Use your own judgment. If she has a good reason don't hold her distraction against her. As you said, you've only seen her a few times. It's not as if you are a couple of sixteen year-olds, surgically attached at the telephone.
 
  Reply With Quote
Christine_ is offline Christine_ Post #8  January 21,2012, 6:55pm
Christine_'s Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Dec 2011

Dallas, TX

Posts: 53

See profile

People do have lots of stuff going on in their lives and they get busy. It could be work, friends, kids, vacation, major housing changes, ... whatever. Sometimes it's one of those "it's not about me" moments to realize that... well... it's not about you

Women will often wait for the man to initiate contact, even during the early stages of dating. There are a bunch of articles and books that tell us to do this! Did she fail to respond to your communication? Or did you feel like it was her turn to initiate the next round of communication? If it's the latter, then don't assume she's not interested. She might be very interested, but holding back and waiting for you to continue to take the lead.
 
  Reply With Quote
jme21 is offline jme21 Post #9  January 21,2012, 7:00pm
jme21's Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: Nov 2010

Posts: 346

See profile

Did you send her this message through eharmony? Seems weird that you would still reference closing the match if you've met her a few times. I would think you would be having that communication through text/phone/real email to stay in touch. eH doesn't mean a whole lot post-meeting.
 
  Reply With Quote
MileHighArtist is offline MileHighArtist Post #10  January 21,2012, 7:00pm
MileHighArtis…'s Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: Sep 2008

Posts: 316

See profile

Reverse_Dragon wrote :
MileHigh, if you think two weeks without contact is such a big deal you have obviously never worked full time while in graduate school. I'm in a LTR and we sometimes go that long without talking, but I don't assume she's seeing someone else or suddenly disinterested.
That's funny cause the woman I'm dating is going to college and working full time and we still manage to keep in touch. The original poster said nothing about his match being in grad school, and I based it on the facts he presented which were minimal at best. But thanks for singling me out to make your point.
Last edited by MileHighArtist; January 21,2012 at 7:03pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3


« The 4 Sure Signs of Confidence Women Look for in a Man | Dating | Asked to formal dinner event after one date? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Acting on instinct, without conscious thought. Good or bad? HowICIt About You 8 July 3,2011 11:15am
And you thought YOU had problems?! mitchell175 Ask a Dating Expert 4 May 20,2011 12:41pm
I thought EHA had a search feature? mitchell175 Talk to your Community Team 5 February 20,2011 4:19pm
I thought I'd seen it all. . . golden_girl_07 Dating 75 January 17,2011 7:14am
I had a thought... littlebluemonkeymind AAA Completely Stupid Conversations 42 June 29,2009 7:27pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I did answer and then also updated with news that I was premature - there is no relationship after all.” –  picklesNcream

Join the “Blast off...!” discussion

“For dating. I'm basically in a (lifelong) rut that I would like to get out of. Sadly, my good friends are also in the same place as I am - if not worse. The topic of women is non existent among ... ” –  JohnNorthSydney

Join the “So I've been thinking about getting a coach.” discussion

“I need some advice. I'm 18, never kissed/dated a girl nor obviously had a girlfriend. I just finished my first year at a top 30 university (full ride scholarship) with a 4.0 GPA. Starting my ... ” –  jrw93

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“The point is no me seeing their photos, I can see their photos; it is them seeing my photos. This means nothing can be gauged by any interest they show to you. On FCW I've noticed the non-paying ... ” –  JohnNorthSydney

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“TD, Have you PM'd eH_Advice_Host_Eve to ask her for help? She is good at helping people tweak their settings so they are more likely to get the results they want. Please consider contacting her if ... ” –  tink333

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Did you know OT stands for on topic and off topic?” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “Off -Topic” discussion

“My inner child says I am. Anastasia is intriguing. (Her name too). I like the dress she's wearing in the ad. I wonder how eHarmony picks the couples for their print and TV ads.” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “Where is Becky?!?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 6:07am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0