How would you respond? Or would you even bother?


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itsabeatutifulday is offline itsabeatutifulday Post #1  January 19,2012, 10:11am
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Discouraged.....

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Right now I am on Match and have received about 6 emails from different guys that say "thanks for checking out my profile" or "thanks for making me a favorite" and that's it. Nothing else. I generally don't respond as I can't figure out why they even bothered to write. Just wanted to make sure I am not missing something here and should be writing back. As always thanks!
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #2  January 19,2012, 10:21am
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If they can send you a message and they only send you a polite thank you for sending them a wink or favoriting them I would imagine they aren't interested. Unless of course there is some new option to send thank you responses. I haven't seen anything like that on Match, however.

You could always follow up with a standard e-mail asking to meet or get to know them better. I just think that if there was interest from the other side they would have taken the initiative and sent more than a thank you note.
 
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ClaireH is offline ClaireH Post #3  January 19,2012, 10:41am
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I agree with Andie. They ususally write if they are interested...
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #4  January 19,2012, 10:50am
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Odd. It sounds almost like they are baiting you to make that first move and send them an opening e-mail to confirm your interest in them before they really do anything constructive.....

Personally, I would not respond simply because the kind of men I like, don't act like that. Sometimes it's not about guessing at another person's motivations so much as understanding who you are looking for and how that person would or would not behave.
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #5  January 19,2012, 10:51am
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I would say that a guy sending a "Thanks for checking out my profile" email is their way of saying "Hi". They saw you check them out, but are also aware that you didn't message them. So, they're not sure if you're interested and just waiting for them to make the first move. So they send out a (lame) feeler. If they weren't interested at all, they wouldn't bother to message.

Since you don't reply, they figure you're either:
a) not interested
b) not a paying member
c) socially inept?

When I get such an email, if I am at least remotely interested in the guy, I will respond in kind. He says "Hi", I just say "Hi yourself". Sometimes those don't go anywhere. Other times, the guy is encouraged by some positive feedback, so he writes more. But, he's not going to waste his time crafting an email to some girl who is not likely to reply. And, I'm also not going to put forth more effort than he did in his first email.

This all depends on what else you've got going for you at the moment. If you've got plenty of decent guys sending you real emails, don't reply. But, if you don't have as many, it doesn't hurt to see where these things might go. My personal policy is to reply to every guy who is not a creep - or not a definite "No".
 
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scully98 is offline scully98 Post #6  January 19,2012, 12:16pm
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Well, you did less than that to initiate conversation, right? All you did was look at their profile or favorite them. They're stepping it up by emailing you. That means there is some interest on their part, but they're not willing to write something long when you didn't bother to email them and all you did was glance at their profile or favorite them.

That's how I interpret it, at least. I say write them back a few lines, ask them something, see if they respond.

For the most part, no one bothers to email anyone on match unless they have some level of interest.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #7  January 19,2012, 12:36pm
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It may not be the best opener, but they did initiate and show some interest. Can't hurt to throw a few lines back......why not?.....Good Luck...
Agree:
scully98 wrote :
Well, you did less than that to initiate conversation, right? All you did was look at their profile or favorite them. They're stepping it up by emailing you. That means there is some interest on their part, but they're not willing to write something long when you didn't bother to email them and all you did was glance at their profile or favorite them.

That's how I interpret it, at least. I say write them back a few lines, ask them something, see if they respond.

For the most part, no one bothers to email anyone on match unless they have some level of interest.
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #8  January 19,2012, 1:13pm
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scully98 wrote :
All you did was look at their profile or favorite them.
That drives me crazy - those guys who will favorite you but never even send an email or wink or anything. That's like those weird guys who will leer at you but never get close enough to actually talk to you. I think when they favorite you but don't ever contact you otherwise, they are just hoping to catch you online so they can IM chat. However, most women I know keep their chat OFF.
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #9  January 19,2012, 1:21pm
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DancingFool wrote :
Odd. It sounds almost like they are baiting you to make that first move and send them an opening e-mail to confirm your interest in them before they really do anything constructive...
Yeah ...it's almost as if they are trying to avoid being rejected ...that is odd!

I am amazed - not surprised, but amazed - at the number of women who apparently think it is their God-given right to get some kind of flamboiyant, attention-grabbing, formal email before they will give a guy a chance. Entitlement much?

These guys initiated contact - that's more than a lot of people get most of the time - and now we are sitting here debated whether it was "good enough" to respond back?
 
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ForwardUntoDawn is offline ForwardUntoDawn Post #10  January 19,2012, 2:24pm
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Match is kind of a mess with its members, last time I was on there was years ago but you never could tell who was paying or not, and you could spend a 1/4 century writing e-mails to people and never getting a response. So guy will try to hedge there bets by sending either a canned email- or a small email or to see if you will respond.
 
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