How would you respond? Or would you even bother?


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ForwardUntoDawn is offline ForwardUntoDawn Post #11  January 19,2012, 2:43pm
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BikerBeagle wrote :
Yeah ...it's almost as if they are trying to avoid being rejected ...that is odd!

I am amazed - not surprised, but amazed - at the number of women who apparently think it is their God-given right to get some kind of flamboiyant, attention-grabbing, formal email before they will give a guy a chance. Entitlement much?

These guys initiated contact - that's more than a lot of people get most of the time - and now we are sitting here debated whether it was "good enough" to respond back?
And yet if someone did take the time to write a decent e-mail maybe the OP would not have to write this thread.

As I said I can see why it was done, but spray n' pray emails is ineffective, no one like to treated as an after thought
 
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Alli824 is offline Alli824 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #12  January 19,2012, 2:49pm
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It's a standard opening line. If he was not interested in at least a conversation he would simply ignore you. He's simply put the ball in your court. You're missing out on opportunities.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #13  January 19,2012, 3:33pm
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Alli824 wrote :
It's a standard opening line. If he was not interested in at least a conversation he would simply ignore you. He's simply put the ball in your court. You're missing out on opportunities.
correct.

the OP is someone complaining about lack of effort but in the most hypocritical way.
 
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itsabeatutifulday is offline itsabeatutifulday Post #14  January 19,2012, 4:22pm
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DancingFool wrote :
Odd. It sounds almost like they are baiting you to make that first move and send them an opening e-mail to confirm your interest in them before they really do anything constructive.....

Personally, I would not respond simply because the kind of men I like, don't act like that. Sometimes it's not about guessing at another person's motivations so much as understanding who you are looking for and how that person would or would not behave.
I think this is my initial reaction. To clarify, I don't need a lengthy email, but what happened to 2-3 short sentence emails like "Checked out your profile. Seems we have things in common. Let me know if you are interested"? Still not sure why I would even assume any interest from a "thank you for looking at me" email. And honesty, if that is the best they can do, hard to believe they don't have self esteem or communication issues.

99% of the time I look at a profile and just exploring. And I favorite guys just so I can go back and look at profile later. Won't be making that mistake. I never thought making someone a favorite meant anything.

I do appreciate you all for pointing out something I never would have assumed..that these guys really were interested (tho this approach to me is lukewarm at best) Learn something new everyday.
Last edited by itsabeatutifulday; January 19,2012 at 4:57pm. Reason: 1st draft sounded snarky....
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #15  January 20,2012, 7:31am
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itsabeatutifulday wrote :
Right now I am on Match and have received about 6 emails from different guys that say "thanks for checking out my profile" or "thanks for making me a favorite" and that's it. Nothing else. I generally don't respond as I can't figure out why they even bothered to write. Just wanted to make sure I am not missing something here and should be writing back. As always thanks!
It does not seem that a reply is necessary in this case as they are not showing any interest in you.

However, I am a wee bit puzzled. Why would you favorite a match if you are interested in them instead of just sending them an e-mail expressing an interest in getting to know them better
 
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scully98 is offline scully98 Post #16  January 20,2012, 7:36am
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Favoriting a guy definitely means something. it means they are one of your favorites on the site. so if you favorite someone, and then they email you, however short of an email, it means they are expressing what they believe is mutual interest.

same goes for viewing a profile. they figure you at least liked how they looked in their thumbnail image to click on it and read their profile, so they are hoping that there is some interest on your part.

so at least you can take that away from this thread. that by looking at a profile or favoriting someone they think you are interested to some degree, but they're not sure how much, so they send out a short "feeler" email to see if you are truly interested.

so try to view it from that perspective. they are interpreting it as you showing interest in them, but only slight interest, where you didn't bother to email them, so since they like you, they want to respond, but not risk too much embarrassment if you turn them down. hence the short email.

if you are truly interested in them, email them back. it's that simple.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #17  January 21,2012, 8:16pm
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mitchell175 wrote :
I would say that a guy sending a "Thanks for checking out my profile" email is their way of saying


b) I am not a paying member

this is what screams to me.
 
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livinagin is offline livinagin Post #18  January 22,2012, 5:46am
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Good morning, Its! Yes, when I started on match and was looking through matches, I was thinking, gee does this guy seem interesting? And I would hit the YES button not knowing that was being communicated to the other party. So, I have started hitting the MAYBE button to save my "favorites". Don't favorite a person unless you have communication going AND it appears promising.

Also, I try to respond in kind and take it just a notch forward. For example, his response to your intial contact does show some interest. When you respond to him, ask him something about his profile. If you get another short email response that doesn't elevate the conversation, move on. Very simple.
 
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itsabeatutifulday is offline itsabeatutifulday Post #19  January 22,2012, 5:56am
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scully98 wrote :
Favoriting a guy definitely means something. it means they are one of your favorites on the site. so if you favorite someone, and then they email you, however short of an email, it means they are expressing what they believe is mutual interest.

same goes for viewing a profile. they figure you at least liked how they looked in their thumbnail image to click on it and read their profile, so they are hoping that there is some interest on your part.

so at least you can take that away from this thread. that by looking at a profile or favoriting someone they think you are interested to some degree, but they're not sure how much, so they send out a short "feeler" email to see if you are truly interested.

so try to view it from that perspective. they are interpreting it as you showing interest in them, but only slight interest, where you didn't bother to email them, so since they like you, they want to respond, but not risk too much embarrassment if you turn them down. hence the short email.

if you are truly interested in them, email them back. it's that simple.
Thanks Scully. I will keep this in mind going forward. I never really thought making someone a "favorite" meant anything. 70 guys have "favorited" me and I have only heard from 3..so go figure.

I have emailed a couple of guys that have sent these type of emails and so far the responses are very brief. One mentioned loving Southern CA in his profile, so I asked if he had any suggestions as that is next on my vacation list...he replied with a list of 4 cities...that was it...nothing else. So am thinking some of these guys (not all) may be poor communicators at least by email or not all that interested. But I'll keep trying...you never know.
Last edited by itsabeatutifulday; January 22,2012 at 6:06am.
 
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itsabeatutifulday is offline itsabeatutifulday Post #20  January 22,2012, 6:05am
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livinagin wrote :
Good morning, Its! Yes, when I started on match and was looking through matches, I was thinking, gee does this guy seem interesting? And I would hit the YES button not knowing that was being communicated to the other party. So, I have started hitting the MAYBE button to save my "favorites". Don't favorite a person unless you have communication going AND it appears promising.

Also, I try to respond in kind and take it just a notch forward. For example, his response to your intial contact does show some interest. When you respond to him, ask him something about his profile. If you get another short email response that doesn't elevate the conversation, move on. Very simple.
Thanks, I was aware that the "Matches of the Day" let them know I was interested, but didn't know that making someone a "favorite" was a big deal. I have since deleted all my favorites and won't make that mistake again...
 
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