Second date and stil no kiss


Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
rdeffley is offline rdeffley Post #1  January 14,2012, 11:44am
rdeffley's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2011

Posts: 21

See profile

Met a girl on eHarm.

First date went well. Good convo, laughs, flirting, and the touch barrier was broken. However, I am a gentleman and I never kiss on the first date. After all you don't even really know the person yet. It ended with a hug and kiss on the cheek and her telling me to call her. I wait a few days, we set up the second date with her saying "I'd love to go out with you again." She writes me an email on eHarm the next day saying she wants me to have her actual email. All good signs.

Second date went well also. Conversation was good, laughs are still there, and after coffee we went to a movie. In the theater, she grabs my arm telling me not to get too scared in a joking manner. Touch barrier broken again, and I impressed her by remembering her birthday. When we are saying goodnight, I tell her that I would like to see her again and I slowly grab her around the waist. However, I can tell she is not comfortable with a kiss. I leaned in slightly and she was already starting to turn away. So once again, hug and kiss on the cheek. So I figure, she is not into me. No harm, no foul. Have only had two dates. But... as she is leaving, she tells me to call her sometime with a smile on her face.

So based on the signs, she seems to be into me, and once again she tells me to call. But the date didn't end with a kiss. Any input?...
 
  Reply With Quote
Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #2  January 14,2012, 11:51am
Ingytravel's Avatar

Naps are one of life's great joys:)

Power Poster

Joined: Mar 2009

Posts: 8,164

See profile

rdeffley wrote :
Met a girl on eHarm.

First date went well. Good convo, laughs, flirting, and the touch barrier was broken. However, I am a gentleman and I never kiss on the first date. After all you don't even really know the person yet. It ended with a hug and kiss on the cheek and her telling me to call her. I wait a few days, we set up the second date with her saying "I'd love to go out with you again." She writes me an email on eHarm the next day saying she wants me to have her actual email. All good signs.

Second date went well also. Conversation was good, laughs are still there, and after coffee we went to a movie. In the theater, she grabs my arm telling me not to get too scared in a joking manner. Touch barrier broken again, and I impressed her by remembering her birthday. When we are saying goodnight, I tell her that I would like to see her again and I slowly grab her around the waist. However, I can tell she is not comfortable with a kiss. I leaned in slightly and she was already starting to turn away. So once again, hug and kiss on the cheek. So I figure, she is not into me. No harm, no foul. Have only had two dates. But... as she is leaving, she tells me to call her sometime with a smile on her face.

So based on the signs, she seems to be into me, and once again she tells me to call. But the date didn't end with a kiss. Any input?...
Well...there is only one way to know.....go on one more date...

It could be that you misread her...
It could be that your breath wasn't good at the moment..
It could be that she isn't interested in you physically...


Telling YOU to 'call me' at the end of the date....blechh....I know many disagree with me....but by the 3rd date...I am usually planning and paying for it...I want to show my interest....I want to show that I don't expect a guy to pay/plan for everything...

So...see if SHE calls you....see if she tries to plan the next date...and at the end...just go in for a quick kiss....don't grab around the waist and yank in...

Just move in with your hands, gently, on either side of her face and give a kiss...

And just like the movie Hitch....go in 90%...let her come the last 10%...
Last edited by Ingytravel; January 14,2012 at 12:11pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
rdeffley is offline rdeffley Post #3  January 14,2012, 12:04pm
rdeffley's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2011

Posts: 21

See profile

Ingy,

Thanks for the input. Also, just wanted to say that you sound like a great girl. It is rare to see a woman wanting to take initiative like that to plan/pay for the third date. Also, it is funny that you bring up Hitch because at the beginning of the movie, all three test cases don't get their first kisses until date number three..LOL

When we talked on the phone after the first date, I mentioned I had access to a ping pong table because my dad's birthday was last weekend and that is one of the things we did. She says she loves ping pong. So I figure bringing up a date that is free is a good way to test her motives. Also, maybe she is more conservative and doesn't care for PDA. Maybe in more of a private setting, a kiss would be a possibility.

All I know is that if I don't want to see a girl again, I am honest about it right then and there. I don't say to call me, or that I will call.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #4  January 14,2012, 12:09pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,679

See profile

I've never had a woman turn away from me, once past the first meeting.

Sad to say, but this does sound like she wants to take everything that going on a date has to offer ... except the date part.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  January 14,2012, 12:22pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

Could be that she is waiting on you to initiate the kiss.

Or could be that she is just not a kisser.
 
  Reply With Quote
shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #6  January 14,2012, 12:29pm
shapeShifter7…'s Avatar

likes dancing!

Board Leader: Health & Wellness

Joined: Apr 2011

CA

Posts: 2,499

See profile

rdeffley wrote :
Second date went well also. Conversation was good, laughs are still there, and after coffee we went to a movie. In the theater, she grabs my arm telling me not to get too scared in a joking manner. Touch barrier broken again, and I impressed her by remembering her birthday. When we are saying goodnight, I tell her that I would like to see her again and I slowly grab her around the waist. However, I can tell she is not comfortable with a kiss. I leaned in slightly and she was already starting to turn away. So once again, hug and kiss on the cheek. So I figure, she is not into me. No harm, no foul. Have only had two dates. But... as she is leaving, she tells me to call her sometime with a smile on her face.
I'm always looking at my return on investment. If I'd paid for her ticket I'd be looking for either: (a) some romantic action, (b) her to share the cost of the date, or (c) her to plan and pay for the next date. So if it were me, I wouldn't call again. I'd answer if she were to call me.

Her reasons? Could be anything--

(a) She expects the guy to court her for months.
(b) She's not physically attracted to you.
(c) She's just testing the waters to see what dating is like.

Doesn't matter. It's enough to know we're incompatible.
 
  Reply With Quote
Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #7  January 14,2012, 12:29pm
Wiseman2's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 6,305

See profile

All signs of interest there....seems to have gone well......women can be shy too....which it sounds like here....Three is your luck number....Good Luck
 
  Reply With Quote
Holiday_HH is offline Holiday_HH Post #8  January 14,2012, 12:51pm
Holiday_HH's Avatar

Is missing home....

Quick Study

Joined: Dec 2011

Posts: 185

See profile

I agree with going on a third date. Make an effort again. Maybe you just caught her by surprise and she panicked. But if that was the case - she won't be caught by surprise again. Third time's a charm! (I hope!) If she turns away again, I would say that's probably a bad sign. Usually by the third date if I'm not feeling "kissy" I never will...
 
  Reply With Quote
anabel is offline anabel Post #9  January 14,2012, 12:53pm
anabel's Avatar

is at home.

Quick Study

Joined: Jun 2008

New Jersey

Posts: 56

See profile

Ask her for a third date and kiss her. She will like it.
 
  Reply With Quote
EmilianaZapata is offline EmilianaZapata Post #10  January 14,2012, 1:02pm
EmilianaZapat…'s Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jan 2012

Dallas, TX

Posts: 1

See profile

Unfortunately, it usually means she really enjoys the connection and mild flirtations because that stuff is fun, but is not physically attracted to you. Sounds like she thinks you'd make a really great friend and wants to keep hanging with you because it's always fun having male friends.

I don't like a guy who goes for a kiss on the first date- it feels too pushy, so no kissing on the first date likely doesn't mean much. I prefer a kiss on the cheek or hug the first time. But by the second date, if I'm really attracted to the guy I'm definitely going to respond if he tries to kiss me. If I'm not attracted, I'll turn away and try to hold him off on the physical stuff until I know for sure an attraction won't develop later.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3


« Slow response times? | Dating | I'm confused »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I did answer and then also updated with news that I was premature - there is no relationship after all.” –  picklesNcream

Join the “Blast off...!” discussion

“For dating. I'm basically in a (lifelong) rut that I would like to get out of. Sadly, my good friends are also in the same place as I am - if not worse. The topic of women is non existent among ... ” –  JohnNorthSydney

Join the “So I've been thinking about getting a coach.” discussion

“I need some advice. I'm 18, never kissed/dated a girl nor obviously had a girlfriend. I just finished my first year at a top 30 university (full ride scholarship) with a 4.0 GPA. Starting my ... ” –  jrw93

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“The point is no me seeing their photos, I can see their photos; it is them seeing my photos. This means nothing can be gauged by any interest they show to you. On FCW I've noticed the non-paying ... ” –  JohnNorthSydney

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“TD, Have you PM'd eH_Advice_Host_Eve to ask her for help? She is good at helping people tweak their settings so they are more likely to get the results they want. Please consider contacting her if ... ” –  tink333

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Did you know OT stands for on topic and off topic?” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “Off -Topic” discussion

“My inner child says I am. Anastasia is intriguing. (Her name too). I like the dress she's wearing in the ad. I wonder how eHarmony picks the couples for their print and TV ads.” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “Where is Becky?!?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 5:51am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0