sex text? What's up with that?


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Alli824 is offline Alli824 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #21  January 13,2012, 2:14pm
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thinks common sense is a gift and intelligence something one is gifted with!

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No excuse for this guy, but it does happen. I think there are those who will take the bait or it would never happen. I had a similar situation once, when I called him on it he said he was testing my sense of humor. Seemed lame. At that point I ignored further contact.
 
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churumbeque is offline churumbeque Post #22  January 13,2012, 2:27pm
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_westendgirl_ wrote :
^ This. I would also add - you called him yesterday. Who brought up meeting today? I think if you had called and asked what he was doing next weekend or something you might have had a different response. If he brought up going out today and you agreed OR the other way around I can see someone testing the waters on the "hook-up" suggestion.
Really so if you happen to be availble soon that is bad? We are both in business that weather dictates our work. He asked to get together soon I said How about next week? He said soon. I said I was working Sat and Sunday but my work got cancelled for Friday because it was too cold. His work was cancelled also because of the cold.

So if I put him off a week that meant I was not easy but if I am availble soon that means I am easy. At this rate I will be single for ever. Seems much easier that way.
 
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churumbeque is offline churumbeque Post #23  January 13,2012, 2:28pm
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Alli824 wrote :
No excuse for this guy, but it does happen. I think there are those who will take the bait or it would never happen. I had a similar situation once, when I called him on it he said he was testing my sense of humor. Seemed lame. At that point I ignored further contact.
I am surprised at the people on here that think I encouraged it for what ever lame reason they can come up with.
 
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jimmyh452 is offline jimmyh452 Post #24  January 13,2012, 2:30pm
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yeah that's crazy...what a tool...

True story. I was with a female friend of mine at a real dive bar. She got hit on by some local dirtbag and for some reason I can't understand why she gave him her #. He called a few days later to set up a date and being sober, she declined. A few minutes later he texted "You sure??" complete with a pic of his erection.

For some reason she thought it would be funny to forward it to me. It wasn't.
 
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Alli824 is offline Alli824 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #25  January 13,2012, 2:46pm
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churumbeque wrote :
I am surprised at the people on here that think I encouraged it for what ever lame reason they can come up with.
Sadly there are many on here with the sole mission to find fault or pick things apart. They offer little constructive advice or comments. A reflection of their own unhappiness I believe. You did nothing wrong. Sexting has become more common than not. People armed with a device will ask inappropriate questions they never would have on the phone or in person. He's shown you his true colors so just be grateful and move on.
 
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eharmonyjc is offline eharmonyjc Post #26  January 13,2012, 2:50pm
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I think the guy INTERPRETED your actions as encouraging it. Your intentions and what he thought your intentions were are not one and the same in this case.
 
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upstategirl is offline upstategirl Post #27  January 13,2012, 3:05pm
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churumbeque wrote :
I am surprised at the people on here that think I encouraged it for what ever lame reason they can come up with.
You did nothing to encourage his bad behaivor, he's the only one responsible for that. At least you got a glimpse of what kind of person he was before you wasted any time on him.
 
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emma_hazards is offline emma_hazards Post #28  January 13,2012, 4:09pm
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Duplicate
Last edited by emma_hazards; January 13,2012 at 4:11pm. Reason: Duplicate
 
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emma_hazards is offline emma_hazards Post #29  January 13,2012, 4:09pm
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churumbeque wrote :
I was very interested then. He somewhat rejected me 5 years ago when he called out of the blue and I happened to be busy that weekend.

He seemed put off that I couldn't make time for him immediatly so I never gave it another thought. He kept coming up in conversation with my accountant and he thinks I would like him so I just thought I would ring him up spur of the moment on a whim. I really had nothing to loose and it seems like a better option than the internet. I must say the phone call went normal and he was very receptive to my call and there were not any sexual overtones. He said he was single and just broke up with his girlfriend 6 weeks ago so my timing was good.

I find it odd you would think of him as a filler. I haven't really dated much in the last 10 years because I like myself too much to waste time on someone that isn't worthy of my time.

I enjoy being alone and wouldn't waste time with some jerk.

Someday I think I might meet someone special and felt I needed to put myself out there to see what he was like with no harm done. Now that I know what he is like it is not someone I would choose to meet. I hope that a normal grounded man would not be messaging someone like that or I have lost all hope in mankind.
Five years ago, you spoke because your accountant suggested it to both of you, right? He didn't just call out of the blue. He did so at the prompting of your accountant who thought you might make a good couple. For whatever reasons...conflicting schedules, mixed signals, whatever...the meeting never happened.

Did you reach out a week later? No. A month later? No. What exactly prompted you to go scrounge up his number five years later and plan to meet the next day? I understand your indignation. I also am not condoning what he did. But at the same time, I also can't fault him. The choices are that he gets all excited, gets emotionally invested in someone who couldn't be bothered five years ago, and she (i.e. you) dump him as soon as anything comes along. That's a no-go. Or he cuts to the chase: Do you want sex or to waste my time? Crude? Yes. Crass even. Absolutely. But a very efficient way to say don't think you can come around after five years when you're bored to tears and waste my time using me...unless all you want is a no-strings quickie before we both return to our merry lives.

I too would be offended in your shoes. But honestly, I can't think of why I would call some guy up after five years of total silence when the only impetus originally was to date. He's not some long-lost friend. He's a total stranger that you never bothered to meet 5 years ago...for whatever reason.

Please try to see how this happened and how you might have inadvertently played a role in this outcome.
 
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_westendgirl_ is online now _westendgirl_ Post #30  January 13,2012, 7:29pm
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churumbeque wrote :
I am surprised at the people on here that think I encouraged it for what ever lame reason they can come up with.
I don't think you encouraged it at all. In my experience this "type" of suggestion often from a certain "type" of guy when plans are made quickly. It's like they read it as an engraved Booty Call invitation.

YOU did nothing wrong at all. HE was completely off bounds.
Last edited by _westendgirl_; January 13,2012 at 7:35pm.
 
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