PG-13 is offline PG-13 Post #1  January 11,2012, 10:11pm
PG-13's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jan 2012

Posts: 199

See profile

Okay,

A lot of the concensus here seems to keep GC to a minimum and get to a phone number/date ASAP.

One of matches from mid October has been exchanging emails with me (22 in total, 11 from each) for 3 months now. We are just going on our first date on Friday. I gave her my phone number, but I don't have hers.

Is this someone just super super cautious or should I be worried at all here? There were some 2 week gaps between emails, then a bunch of emails, then another week or 2 with no communication. However, the fact that she actually wants to meet now gives me hope.

I'll let everyone know about a post-date update, but its the longest its taken any of matches to get from GC to date (from OC date has been closer to 4 months).

So I guess patience can be rewarded?

PG-13
 
  Reply With Quote
Bluskies4ever3 is offline Bluskies4ever3 Post #2  January 11,2012, 10:22pm
Bluskies4ever…'s Avatar

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence - H.L. Mencken

Quick Study

Joined: Jan 2012

Posts: 151

See profile

Being able to deal with delayed gratification is a sign of emotional intelligence, so I would give both of you a thumbs up.

Hope it goes well for you. Relax, and have fun.
 
  Reply With Quote
shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #3  January 11,2012, 10:29pm
shapeShifter7…'s Avatar

likes dancing!

Board Leader: Health & Wellness

Joined: Apr 2011

CA

Posts: 2,499

See profile

PG-13 wrote :
I gave her my phone number, but I don't have hers. Is this someone just super super cautious or should I be worried at all here?
I don't see anything to worry about. Did she ask for your phone number? Personally, I've never agreed to a situation where the other party has my phone number but I don't have hers. That rule has never (so far) prevented me from getting to a date.

The longest for me from initial questions to a date was four months. We agreed to a date in our first or second e-mail, so there wasn't any wasted communication time in-between.. I just had quite a long dating queue at the time.
 
  Reply With Quote
eharmonyjc is offline eharmonyjc Post #4  January 11,2012, 10:33pm
eharmonyjc's Avatar

:-D

Veteran

Joined: Nov 2011

Colorado!

Posts: 1,203

See profile

She was probably dating other people during the weeks you didn't hear from her, and it didn't work out w/ them, so she came back to you..
 
  Reply With Quote
tink333 is offline tink333 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  January 11,2012, 10:43pm
tink333's Avatar

up late....again.

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Jan 2009

Indianapolis

Posts: 1,258

See profile

I'm guessing she is near the age you put in your eHA profile of 43? It's entirely possible she is just being cautious.

I was 44 when I began online dating and that was after being widowed 18 months or so. It had been 20 years or more since I had dated anyone, and there were many reasons for my initial caution.

I've noticed from hanging around here, that the younger group 20's to early 30's tend to be more comfortable exchanging numbers both ways, but that sometimes women in the 40's or so group can be more cautious. shapeshifter's comment (assuming he's dating near his own age of 30) supports my observation. It also depends on whether she has just begun online dating or not and to a lesser degree the circumstances that caused her to be single (divorce vs. widowhood). From my own experience, I lightened up after the first few matches and became a little more comfortable giving out my number.

At this point, I wouldn't read too much into it, because you'll get a better idea after your first date. Of course, inquiring minds want to know how it turns out.
 
  Reply With Quote
PG-13 is offline PG-13 Post #6  January 11,2012, 10:58pm
PG-13's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jan 2012

Posts: 199

See profile

uh, Im 29, shes 27, not sure where 43 came from
 
  Reply With Quote
ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #7  January 11,2012, 11:04pm
ami1uwant's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Feb 2008

Seattle, WA

Posts: 4,639

See profile

depending on your ages and situation things could be different.....

Unless you were one of the first people she ever met online, the three mon th time is long if you are in the same city.

Most likely she was dating others ...and with many women they tend to focus on one person when they are dating which would explain the 2 weeks between emails. You are guy B, she sets date with guy A and had say 2 before saying this aint going to work and went back to talking to you.

Why didnt you ask earlier?


One caveat on the timeline...the period between thanksgiving and new years is a difficult time to start a new relationship. if people tend to say im only available to date on friday or saturday for one day then prior commitments with friends and family trumps new dates. Some just opt to put off meeting someone till after christmas to get away from the akwardness of christmas in a new relationship.
 
  Reply With Quote
tink333 is offline tink333 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #8  January 11,2012, 11:16pm
tink333's Avatar

up late....again.

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Jan 2009

Indianapolis

Posts: 1,258

See profile

PG-13 wrote :
uh, Im 29, shes 27, not sure where 43 came from
Sorry about that. I mistakenly took the number of posts which now shows 44 as your age . Those figures appear in the same part of the screen one underneath the other, so I didn't notice you didn't actually list your age.

It's late, and this old lady's eyes are not what they should be at 3:15 am.
 
  Reply With Quote
emma_hazards is offline emma_hazards Post #9  January 12,2012, 2:18am
emma_hazards's Avatar

Perky!

Veteran

Joined: Sep 2011

Posts: 1,907

See profile

shapeShifter79 wrote :
I don't see anything to worry about. Did she ask for your phone number? Personally, I've never agreed to a situation where the other party has my phone number but I don't have hers. That rule has never (so far) prevented me from getting to a date.

The longest for me from initial questions to a date was four months. We agreed to a date in our first or second e-mail, so there wasn't any wasted communication time in-between.. I just had quite a long dating queue at the time.
The guy volunteers his number. I do not give mine out first, however, he gets mine immediately afterwards.

To the OP--

Have fun on your date. It's irrelevant why it took so long to get to this point. What's important is that you did. Whether you connect on the date will determine the potential for a relationship. Wishing you the best.
Last edited by emma_hazards; January 12,2012 at 2:23am.
 
  Reply With Quote
itswhatev is offline itswhatev Post #10  January 12,2012, 2:27am
itswhatev's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jan 2012

NORCAL

Posts: 46

See profile

I think you did the right move by giving her your number. Put the ball in her court to contact you. Now if she calls or texts you, play hard to get, your a busy guy. Then text last minute to let her know your free.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Easiest way to get over one MAN is to date ANOTHER... | Dating | ... I ditched a friend to spend time with "A Guy" »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Coupon on a first date: help me settle an office debate eHA_Admin_Lori Dating 594 May 2,2012 4:42pm
Fourth date sex???! 48blueeyes Ask a Dating Expert 52 January 30,2012 8:10am
Why don't guys say "Thank You" after a date? Xable Dating 96 October 12,2011 7:31pm
First date tomorrow night.... adventure714 Dating 11 October 10,2011 9:41am
Askin for the next date. First date versus second date. shoopthedoop Dating 8 September 24,2010 7:19pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I did answer and then also updated with news that I was premature - there is no relationship after all.” –  picklesNcream

Join the “Blast off...!” discussion

“For dating. I'm basically in a (lifelong) rut that I would like to get out of. Sadly, my good friends are also in the same place as I am - if not worse. The topic of women is non existent among ... ” –  JohnNorthSydney

Join the “So I've been thinking about getting a coach.” discussion

“I need some advice. I'm 18, never kissed/dated a girl nor obviously had a girlfriend. I just finished my first year at a top 30 university (full ride scholarship) with a 4.0 GPA. Starting my ... ” –  jrw93

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“The point is no me seeing their photos, I can see their photos; it is them seeing my photos. This means nothing can be gauged by any interest they show to you. On FCW I've noticed the non-paying ... ” –  JohnNorthSydney

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“TD, Have you PM'd eH_Advice_Host_Eve to ask her for help? She is good at helping people tweak their settings so they are more likely to get the results they want. Please consider contacting her if ... ” –  tink333

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Did you know OT stands for on topic and off topic?” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “Off -Topic” discussion

“My inner child says I am. Anastasia is intriguing. (Her name too). I like the dress she's wearing in the ad. I wonder how eHarmony picks the couples for their print and TV ads.” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “Where is Becky?!?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 5:44am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0