coffeebeans is offline coffeebeans Post #1  January 11,2012, 9:19am
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I was matched with a woman on eHarmony a couple weeks ago. We made it to open communication and exchanged a few messages. She asked me to contact her via her gmail account, which I did, but she hasn't responded via that account.

I then contacted her through eH again and she sent an email saying she couldn't respond because her subscription had expired, but she renewed it very recently and was responding.

I asked if she'd like to talk on the phone, but her lack of response in the past week makes me think she's reluctant to move things forward with a phone call, even though she's logged on a few times.

I realize people lead busy lives, but I would think that if someone were really interested in my profile, she'd have responded by now. Perhaps she has a low level of interest in me. Am I far off the mark?

I am actively communicating with other so as not to put all my eggs in one basket.

Should I close this match?
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  January 11,2012, 9:32am
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She is either reluctant to move forward, a flake or you are backup plan Z.

In any case she is not that interested in you so I would not be waiting around for her. If you are interested in her at all there is no reason to close her, just let her sit while you move on to your other matches.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #3  January 11,2012, 9:55am
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It's no skin off your back to leave the match open, especially when you have other options. Yes, when someone is reluctant to move forward, 90% of the time it will be because they are not that interested or have some personal issues you don't want to deal with. However, it's also a good idea to keep in mind that you are strangers and you don't actually know what's going on in each others lives. Sometimes there are outside factors and stresses that occur, that make dating temporarily difficult. So, I'd toss her on the back burner and reduce communication, but not stop completely. If she comes around in the future, that's fine and if not, you've got other dates and she'll fade out naturally all on her own.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #4  January 11,2012, 10:00am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
If you are interested in her at all there is no reason to close her, just let her sit while you move on to your other matches.
DancingFool wrote :
It's no skin off your back to leave the match open, especially when you have other options.
I third this.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #5  January 11,2012, 3:58pm
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I'd email her my number and then if I don't get a response click on the 'close' button. I'd give her a max of 1 week to get her act together.
 
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eharmonyjc is offline eharmonyjc Post #6  January 11,2012, 4:14pm
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There's a small chance your email to her gmail went to spam. I had that happen to me when a guy from OKcupid emailed me the first time, and he just had a regular yahoo email address. How long has it been since you asked to call her?
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #7  January 11,2012, 4:20pm
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coffeebeans wrote :
I realize people lead busy lives, but I would think that if someone were really interested in my profile, she'd have responded by now. Perhaps she has a low level of interest in me. Am I far off the mark?

Should I close this match?
No, but realize she has a low interest in your profile (compared to other things) and not a low interest in you. My girlfriend asked me why I did x, y, and z while we were on eH. My answer for x was, "I did that? I didn't remember." For y and z it was "::shrug:: You were one of dozens of girls communicating with me. I didn't know who you were then." You have nothing to lose in time or effort by leaving it open after making a clear offer to take communication offline. If her interest is too low to bother, ::shrug:: just close her next month.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #8  January 11,2012, 4:59pm
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I'd send the person a message proposing a meeting. (Specific time and place.)

I'd tell them I was moving the communication to private e-mail, and closing the match for that reason (so they don't think I was giving up on them.)

She is not likely to be interested in you, but possibly saving you as a backup (and that's probably just for the free meal.) Closing is your safest option.
 
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tink333 is offline tink333 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #9  January 11,2012, 8:08pm
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D_Lion wrote :
She is not likely to be interested in you, but possibly saving you as a backup (and that's probably just for the free meal.) Closing is your safest option.
I hope you're joking about the free meal. No one knows why this girl has not been in contact, and I'd even agree that it's feasible she is keeping him as a backup, but that it being just for the free meal is just harsh.

I hope women haven't done this to you.
 
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