Lynn1977 is offline Lynn1977 Post #1  January 9,2012, 5:44pm
Lynn1977's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jan 2012

Posts: 5

See profile

Ok so I'm COMPLETELY new to this... dating, online dating, everything... I've spent most of my adult life in a couple long-term relationships that happened quite quickly and sorta skipped the whole dating phase... Now here I am scratching my head and trying to figure out this whole idea of dating, let alone doing it online...

Soo... I'm looking for suggestions... I'm hoping I'm not going to regret asking this on here... I am not looking to be judged, just looking for some pointers... are there a bunch of 'unwritten rules' for dating now-adays that perhaps you could share with me? Definite 'dos and donts'? Am I too old-fashioned to want to be asked out by the guy anymore or is there still some form of chivalry out there? LOL

Thanks in advance
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  January 9,2012, 5:51pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

There seems to be a whole bunch of unwritten rules and because they are unwritten no one knows what they are.

Oh, you can sit around and wait for the guy to ask you out. Of course some other girl that does not have that hang up is going to be asking the guys that she was interested in out so you may have to be waiting awhile and you might be getting less than what you really wanted. And if you are on an online dating site you have paid for a service. Part of that service is to communicate with your matches. If you find a match (guy) interesting and you wait for him to initiate then you are paying for something you are not using.
 
  Reply With Quote
Lucid is offline Lucid Post #3  January 9,2012, 5:52pm
Lucid's Avatar

... is feeling 8 shades of grey on this gloomy, gloomy day.

Pacesetter

Joined: Dec 2011

Winnipeg

Posts: 498

See profile

lol no Lynn you wont be judged for the things you seem to fear. However we may be critical in our opinions of the dating world and those in it. Why don't you start with letting us review your profile and getting you on the right track. This should be posted in the "Using eHarmony" forum board.
 
  Reply With Quote
Lynn1977 is offline Lynn1977 Post #4  January 9,2012, 5:53pm
Lynn1977's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jan 2012

Posts: 5

See profile

Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
There seems to be a whole bunch of unwritten rules and because they are unwritten no one knows what they are.

Oh, you can sit around and wait for the guy to ask you out. Of course some other girl that does not have that hang up is going to be asking the guys that she was interested in out so you may have to be waiting awhile and you might be getting less than what you really wanted. And if you are on an online dating site you have paid for a service. Part of that service is to communicate with your matches. If you find a match (guy) interesting and you wait for him to initiate then you are paying for something you are not using.
thank-you good point!
 
  Reply With Quote
VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #5  January 9,2012, 5:54pm
VB_Girl's Avatar

is working hard for this vacation!

Power Poster

Joined: Feb 2009

Chicago

Posts: 6,946

See profile

1. Do be proactive and contact people that interest you.
2. Don't assume because a person is great on paper that there will be a spark when you meet.
3. Do keep an open mind and move at a pace at which you are comfortable
4. Don't poof on people, give them the courtesy of knowing you don't feel compatible.
5. Do communication on a timely basis.

Good luck.
 
  Reply With Quote
KikiAZ is offline KikiAZ Post #6  January 10,2012, 8:15am
KikiAZ's Avatar

posting from the 6th largest city in America

Veteran

Joined: Apr 2011

Posts: 1,649

See profile

Read one poster's "Online Dating Manual" in a sticky under the Using EHarmony (community) section for her thoughts and pointers! Best.
 
  Reply With Quote
boschimsp is offline boschimsp — Advice Member-Moderator Post #7  January 10,2012, 8:42am
boschimsp's Avatar

Starting to acknowledge that my single life is actually fantastic.

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Sep 2010

Posts: 2,116

See profile

VB_Girl wrote :
1. Do be proactive and contact people that interest you.
2. Don't assume because a person is great on paper that there will be a spark when you meet.
3. Do keep an open mind and move at a pace at which you are comfortable
4. Don't poof on people, give them the courtesy of knowing you don't feel compatible.
5. Do communication on a timely basis.

Good luck.
I think these are all great! I will also add

1. Do pursue multiple people on online dating sites. It's hard to tell how things will pan out once you move to meeting so it makes sense to keep odds in your favor and reach out to as many people interest you.

2. Once you start meeting people don't assume exclusivity until it's been talked about. Many people initially date more than one person at a time. You don't need to do so if it is something you're not comfortable with.

3. Do assume you'll have some dating stumbles. If you're out of practice things could be awkward or frustrating out of the gate but I think it is normal whenever you try something new and the boards are here whenever you have questions or want to vent.
 
  Reply With Quote
LongLocks is offline LongLocks Post #8  January 10,2012, 9:09am
LongLocks's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Jan 2011

Pittsburgh, PA

Posts: 671

See profile

Lynn, I'm old-fashioned too and, believe me, there are still gentlemen out there who will ask you out on dates, open doors for you, and pay for your dinner (even on first dates - gasp!)

Best of luck with online dating and remember to have fun!
 
  Reply With Quote
VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #9  January 10,2012, 3:27pm
VB_Girl's Avatar

is working hard for this vacation!

Power Poster

Joined: Feb 2009

Chicago

Posts: 6,946

See profile

boschimsp wrote :
I think these are all great! I will also add

1. Do pursue multiple people on online dating sites. It's hard to tell how things will pan out once you move to meeting so it makes sense to keep odds in your favor and reach out to as many people interest you.

2. Once you start meeting people don't assume exclusivity until it's been talked about. Many people initially date more than one person at a time. You don't need to do so if it is something you're not comfortable with.

3. Do assume you'll have some dating stumbles. If you're out of practice things could be awkward or frustrating out of the gate but I think it is normal whenever you try something new and the boards are here whenever you have questions or want to vent.
Great points as well!
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« First date ideas | Dating | E-HARMONY »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Total Newb question about GC etiquette sageinTO Using eHarmony 6 December 5,2010 7:58am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I did answer and then also updated with news that I was premature - there is no relationship after all.” –  picklesNcream

Join the “Blast off...!” discussion

“For dating. I'm basically in a (lifelong) rut that I would like to get out of. Sadly, my good friends are also in the same place as I am - if not worse. The topic of women is non existent among ... ” –  JohnNorthSydney

Join the “So I've been thinking about getting a coach.” discussion

“I need some advice. I'm 18, never kissed/dated a girl nor obviously had a girlfriend. I just finished my first year at a top 30 university (full ride scholarship) with a 4.0 GPA. Starting my ... ” –  jrw93

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“The point is no me seeing their photos, I can see their photos; it is them seeing my photos. This means nothing can be gauged by any interest they show to you. On FCW I've noticed the non-paying ... ” –  JohnNorthSydney

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“TD, Have you PM'd eH_Advice_Host_Eve to ask her for help? She is good at helping people tweak their settings so they are more likely to get the results they want. Please consider contacting her if ... ” –  tink333

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Did you know OT stands for on topic and off topic?” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “Off -Topic” discussion

“My inner child says I am. Anastasia is intriguing. (Her name too). I like the dress she's wearing in the ad. I wonder how eHarmony picks the couples for their print and TV ads.” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “Where is Becky?!?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 5:38am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0