Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #21  January 8,2012, 9:03am
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This is true ..in addition...you would also have to be "matched" with them:
Ingytravel wrote :
The only way a client could see your photo on EH is if they are on the dating site as well. Just as you are completely visible in your daily life where a man could easily ask you out, it doesn't make any sense to 'hide' your photo from your matches...EH isn't a searchable site like Match and others....
Photos are important, and paradoxically, not having them seems to attract more weirdos.This is not superficial...don't you want to see what someone you may meet looks like?...
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #22  January 8,2012, 9:05am
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Toodles, sayonara, and happy trails! Wishing everyone luck and love...

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ArabicEyes wrote :
I understand that physical attraction = sexual attraction. Being a virgin doesn't make me asexual. Physical attraction is important to me but I didn't think that my question would steer an entire conversation in that direction.
This simply reflects your own naiveté. Of course physical attraction is important, but turning a conversation with a stranger to what they find attractive is both not an effective way to determine if they would find you attractive (attraction is much more complicated than that) and, as you've learned, signals to some that you are open to engaging in a racier conversation (as inappropriate as that may be)

What are you hoping to find out by asking such a question? If someone indicates that he is attracted to Swedish blondes, do you question him about that?
 
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MileHighArtist is offline MileHighArtist Post #23  January 8,2012, 9:30am
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They used to have where you go reveal your pics to a match at a later stage, I think to just that individual. That would've saved you a lot of trouble, but I don't think they allow that anymore.
Last edited by MileHighArtist; January 8,2012 at 9:36am.
 
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ArabicEyes is offline ArabicEyes Post #24  January 8,2012, 9:48am
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MileHighArtist wrote :
They used to have where you go reveal your pics to a match at a later stage, I think to just that individual. That would've saved you a lot of trouble, but I don't think they allow that anymore.
I did and do intend to send my photos. But I have to have a personal email. It's tricky.
 
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ArabicEyes is offline ArabicEyes Post #25  January 8,2012, 9:49am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Bet you have a photo on your business cards and other advertizing for your practice.
I do not.
 
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ArabicEyes is offline ArabicEyes Post #26  January 8,2012, 9:54am
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Wiseman2 wrote :
This is true ..in addition...you would also have to be "matched" with them: Photos are important, and paradoxically, not having them seems to attract more weirdos.This is not superficial...don't you want to see what someone you may meet looks like?...
You're right, I'm getting it now. My rationalization for withholding my photos was wrong. However, I never said that wanting to see someone's photo is superficial, I do not subscribe to that school of thought. It's only fair, I send my photos when I reach open communication,
 
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RubyThursday is offline RubyThursday Post #27  January 8,2012, 9:56am
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I completely understand your fears of being seen and recognized on a dating site. I used to feel that way myself. So I want to share a tip with you. Create photos that don't reveal your identity, but still tell the viewer SOMEthing about you. For example, a closeup of your eyes without the rest of your face, a full-body photo in clothing that doesn't hide your shape, but with your face turned away from the camera, etc. I once took a picture while seated, wearing shorts, of my lap, legs crossed. Extend the idea of hijab, metaphorically, and see what you can come up with. Get creative. With some experimentation, I'm sure you can find something that won't mis-represent you. You don't want anything too sexy, but at the same time, you do want to show off some of your physical assets (eyes, hair, figure, legs maybe).

Guys find these kind of teasers attractive, and believe me, having some photos is far better than having that generic silhouette on your profile.

Having said all that, no one can guarantee you won't run into any more creeps. Try to let it roll off you. Lots of people who look good on paper aren't worth that paper when revealed for who they truly are. Good luck.
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #28  January 8,2012, 10:04am
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RubyThursday wrote :
I completely understand your fears of being seen and recognized on a dating site. I used to feel that way myself. So I want to share a tip with you. Create photos that don't reveal your identity, but still tell the viewer SOMEthing about you. For example, a closeup of your eyes without the rest of your face, a full-body photo in clothing that doesn't hide your shape, but with your face turned away from the camera, etc. I once took a picture while seated, wearing shorts, of my lap, legs crossed. Extend the idea of hijab, metaphorically, and see what you can come up with. Get creative. With some experimentation, I'm sure you can find something that won't mis-represent you. You don't want anything too sexy, but at the same time, you do want to show off some of your physical assets (eyes, hair, figure, legs maybe).

Guys find these kind of teasers attractive, and believe me, having some photos is far better than having that generic silhouette on your profile.

Having said all that, no one can guarantee you won't run into any more creeps. Try to let it roll off you. Lots of people who look good on paper aren't worth that paper when revealed for who they truly are. Good luck.
That is perfectly fine and actually preferable on THIS site...EHA boards....

but not for the actual dating site of eHarmony....

That would look even worse that you are trying to 'hide'....

Again...it makes no logical sense for people to not post photos on their eHarmony profile page...

The ONLY people who will see these are people you have been matched to.......

When I sign up for a dating website and pay money...I close every single match where a guy doesn't have photos...plain and simple...

This is not blind dating....most everyone...with few exceptions want to see what a person looks like before starting communication...

If I am not attracted to them...it makes no difference whatsoever if I like their profile....I need to have both a physical AND emotional connection to date someone...
 
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ArabicEyes is offline ArabicEyes Post #29  January 8,2012, 10:07am
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Ingytravel wrote :
That is perfectly fine and actually preferable on THIS site...EHA boards....

but not for the actual dating site of eHarmony....

That would look even worse that you are trying to 'hide'....

Again...it makes no logical sense for people to not post photos on their eHarmony profile page...

The ONLY people who will see these are people you have been matched to.......

When I sign up for a dating website and pay money...I close every single match where a guy doesn't have photos...plain and simple...

This is not blind dating....most everyone...with few exceptions want to see what a person looks like before starting communication...

If I am not attracted to them...it makes no difference whatsoever if I like their profile....I need to have both a physical AND emotional connection to date someone...
When I do send photos I send a full body shot and a close up of my face. Photographing bits of my body might also attract the wrong kind of attention. I don't know, I maybe wrong.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #30  January 8,2012, 10:08am
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The site now is either have visible photos or no photos. If you still insist on exchanging them through email first , that's your choice, but frankly it's no "safer" or "private"

In reality you are sending them to Joe from Town to joe.town at yahoo.....who could be anyone....and now they have your email address which, hopefully is a disposable one....

The send photo later strategy is not "modest" or "private" it's a double edged sword, many interpret this as married, hiding something, deceptive,etc....and inviting the very oddballs you are complaining of... Good Luck..
ArabicEyes wrote :
I did and do intend to send my photos. But I have to have a personal email. It's tricky.
 
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