Ughh..! My first, "first date" in 5 years..


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Lucid is offline Lucid Post #1  January 3,2012, 10:12pm
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... is feeling 8 shades of grey on this gloomy, gloomy day.

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Even 5 years ago I never had dates, I had pick-up lines that turned into "relationships" if you can call them that.. Although I did end up marrying one of them.. She's long gone.

This beautiful woman is well eduacated, has a 3y/o son, loves her job as a hair stylist and we share the same passion for music right down to the genres / bands / albums / songs.

Most of you know me already so...
I need a peptalk and some words of advise.. GO!
 
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nv1983 is offline nv1983 Post #2  January 3,2012, 10:25pm
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So you haven't gone on the date with her yet? You, essentially, don't even really know her. See the date as an opportunity to get to know someone new as opposed to an audition for you to impress her. Once you take that pressure off yourself, mutual attraction forms much more naturally. And if it doesn't, well, you'll know it wasn't meant to be.
 
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Lucid is offline Lucid Post #3  January 3,2012, 10:28pm
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... is feeling 8 shades of grey on this gloomy, gloomy day.

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I'm alright with pressure and confidence.. or atleast I was until I hit the "send" button on that last email asking her to join me for dinner and drinks this weekend. Suddenly my brain lost all reason and logic.. nerves I'm guessing!
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #4  January 3,2012, 10:29pm
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nv1983 wrote :
So you haven't gone on the date with her yet? You, essentially, don't even really know her. See the date as an opportunity to get to know someone new as opposed to an audition for you to impress her. Once you take that pressure off yourself, mutual attraction forms much more naturally. And if it doesn't, well, you'll know it wasn't meant to be.
+1. And the same goes for meeting friends, best friends, family, etc.
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #5  January 3,2012, 10:30pm
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Lucid wrote :
dinner and drinks
Yikes! If she weighs 30lbs more than she seemed in her pics you're going to regret spending a pretty penny sight unseen.

"You essentially don't even really know her."

"You essentially don't even really know her."

"You essentially don't even really know her."

"You essentially don't even really know her."

"You essentially don't even really know her."

"You essentially don't even really know her."

"You essentially don't even really know her."
Last edited by shapeShifter79; January 3,2012 at 10:34pm.
 
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Lucid is offline Lucid Post #6  January 3,2012, 10:38pm
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shapeShifter79 wrote :
Yikes! If she winds up weighing 50lbs more than her pics you're going to regret spending a pretty penny sight unseen.

"You essentially don't even really know her."
lol thanks for the laugh. I need that about now.
For now I know what I need to know, I'll leave the rest to discovery during the date so we aren't sitting there in uncomforable silence.
And as for her looks, WOW! She was kind enough to send me a recient pic of her and her adorable little boy this morning.

I'm not saying "shes the one" for obvious reasons..
a. I don't know that.
b. I don't know her.
c. Just because I'm picky when it comes to who I meet doesn't mean anything in this reguard.
d. I don't want to psych myself up to be let down.

Right now she is a girl that I share many common interests and passions with and we seem to gel pretty well over eH. What lies beyond the computer monitor is yet to be seen / known.

And for the 2nd time tonight I find myself posting my favorite quote.

Always try to live open-minded and you will learn more than you could ever imagine... Explore and you will find the unthinkable... ~ Maynard James Keenan ~
 
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Lucid is offline Lucid Post #7  January 3,2012, 10:40pm
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... is feeling 8 shades of grey on this gloomy, gloomy day.

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P.S I suffer from ADHD.. Ooo look a rainbow.
 
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nv1983 is offline nv1983 Post #8  January 3,2012, 10:45pm
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It's okay to get excited to meet someone new - I mean that's why we're in the game to begin with. But be careful not to fall into the trap of building up someone you haven't even gotten to know into some sort of unfulfillable fantasy. It sounds like you're recognizing this and adapting your expectations, which is great. Your commonalities are a starting point for building some mutual rapport and attraction, that's all.

When I first got in this dating game, I'd get myself all worked up over dates before I even met them. I'd fantasize that my dates would fulfill my desire for love, companionship, marriage, etc. In turn, I'd end up chasing them away with needy behavior and my inability to read signals from their end. When I dropped the fantasy and focused on the person in front of me, the quality of my dating experience improved dramatically.
 
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olneyjeeps is offline olneyjeeps Post #9  January 4,2012, 6:41am
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If you want something that is true, just be yourself, do not try to impress her. Do what you like doing for the joy of doing it, not to "get" her. I find that being my genuine self 100% of the time is extremely attractive to women. If you truly think there is potential, consider finding some innocuous way to be put in a situation with the child... can be a real deal breaker that should not be ignored (I would NEVER tollerate or expect toleration of a spoiled / non respectful child).
 
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allurah is offline allurah Post #10  January 4,2012, 7:09am
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I can see how that can be very exciting yet unnerving. I think the jitters of meeting someone we are excited about is what makes us feel alive. It's great that you still feel this excitement and anxiety -- many people become too jaded and mechanical when it comes to new dates, or dating in general. I know it is cliche but my only advice is have fun and take it day by day. Also, don't let the sheer excitement cloud your judgment to the point that you ignore some major red flags. Let us know how it goes!
 
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