Would you sleep with him for the first time if...?


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KBA72 is offline KBA72 Post #31  January 2,2012, 4:15pm
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shapeShifter79 wrote :
Yes, I do not see her hesistancy to simply discuss this with him. Again, most women bring this up just before sex, about when you discuss STDs and condoms. No big deal, right? Communication is a big part of relationships.
I am not at all hesitant to discuss it with him. I have always intended to do so...in person and in the natural flow of things. I don't think that asking for advice implies in any way that one is unwilling to discuss the issue with the person involved. In my case he is unavailable at the moment, being on an aircraft with his 2 young children. But I think I would have asked for advice first in any case, and most of the posts are very helpful and supportive.
 
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churumbeque is offline churumbeque Post #32  January 2,2012, 6:02pm
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KBA72 wrote :
No, I don't think he's sleeping with others. We communicate nearly every day, and he seems to make it a point to let me know what he's doing and with whom (on his own, not at my request). For example, we weren't able to be together on NYE due to being out of town visiting family, but he was texting me all night and told me what he was doing and with whom. One time he had even sent me a photo and texted later that night saying BTW the woman in the photo is so-and-so, as if he thought I might think it was another woman he was seeing and be upset. Again, he does this on his own with no questions on my part.



So, if guys are waiting for sex before being exclusive and women are waiting for exclusivity before sex, what do most women do? Start an intimate relationship and then discuss/hope for exclusivity, since men are not likely to offer exclusivity before having had sex?
he sounds like someone covering his tracks. He could be out with another woman and saying he is texting his brother or friend and to prove he is just seeing her by taking her picture and sending it. Just because he is telling what he is doing doesn't mean it is the truth.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #33  January 2,2012, 6:03pm
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After your vituperative exchanges I come to one conclusion.

Have sex with him at the next opportunity. But don't come back here crying "I had sex with him and now he is gone."
 
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KBA72 is offline KBA72 Post #34  January 2,2012, 6:05pm
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churumbeque wrote :
he sounds like someone covering his tracks. He could be out with another woman and saying he is texting his brother or friend and to prove he is just seeing her by taking her picture and sending it. Just because he is telling what he is doing doesn't mean it is the truth.
This has crossed my mind and is a possibility. However, my gut feeling is that he is telling the truth. Also, I haven't been asking what he is doing, who he is with, who is in the photo, etc., so it would be easier for him, if covering his tracks, to just say nothing at all.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #35  January 3,2012, 5:34am
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Of course he does this on his own..unprompted...because everything he is texting / sending is only what he wants to project.

Agree with other posters that if simple things can't be clearly communicated , then the time is not right. It's up to you to deal with the doubts, even if he "documents" whatever he wants through texts......Good Luck...
KBA72 wrote :
For example, we weren't able to be together on NYE due to being out of town visiting family, but he was texting me all night and told me what he was doing and with whom. One time he had even sent me a photo and texted later that night saying BTW the woman in the photo is so-and-so, as if he thought I might think it was another woman he was seeing and be upset. Again, he does this on his own with no questions on my part.
 
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scully98 is offline scully98 Post #36  January 3,2012, 5:35am
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I would sleep with someone who was still active on a dating site. But I would first ask them about whether they were planning on continuing to date other women. If the answer was yes, I wouldn't want to sleep with them. But just having a profile up isn't the same as dating other women.
 
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emma_hazards is offline emma_hazards Post #37  January 3,2012, 9:13am
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Sounds like you have the beginnings of a great relationship.

Not clear. Is the issue that you are ready to become intimate but hesitate because he accessed his profile on a dating site or that you aren't yet ready to become intimate?

My advice would differ for each of these two scenarios.

Agree with everything LDJ stated. She provided some great pointers.
 
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itsabeatutifulday is offline itsabeatutifulday Post #38  January 22,2012, 9:16am
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KBA72 wrote :
I am not at all hesitant to discuss it with him. I have always intended to do so...in person and in the natural flow of things. I don't think that asking for advice implies in any way that one is unwilling to discuss the issue with the person involved. In my case he is unavailable at the moment, being on an aircraft with his 2 young children. But I think I would have asked for advice first in any case, and most of the posts are very helpful and supportive.
OP, if I missed something I do apologize. Your most recent thread has concerns about his sleeping habits with his children.

http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...breaker-4.html (Is this a dealbreaker?)

Yet from the info supplied in your latest posts after 3 more weeks you have still not been intimate or had the exclusivity conversation with him. Why?

(It seems to me until you take your relationship to the next level, what he does with his children really is not your concern and is probably too premature to even discuss.) Just my two cents.
Last edited by itsabeatutifulday; January 22,2012 at 9:25am.
 
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