Faraday is offline Faraday Post #1  December 30,2011, 2:17pm
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So I have two questions:

Question one: This guy that's coming for dinner tonight has told me again that he's going to be a few minutes late (he was 20 minutes late last time but gave me adequate warning...as he did today).

So I texted him back and asked if he's "one of those perpetually late people or if I have a knack for bad meeting times ". He replied that it's "All him (me), unfortunately " What do you guys think about that? I'm usually early for things...I'm wondering what this will be like if we have to be somewhere together if this progresses lol.

Question two: I'm 28. eH has recently been sending me people out of my specified age range (I'm 27-38) and two of the 44 year olds requested communication. My dad is 55...I feel weird dating someone closer to my dad's age range than mine. They have both taken really great care of themselves, good looking guys, both have a couple of kids and if they were 10 years younger, I would be all over them. Should I give it a go or is 16 years too much?

Thoughts?
 
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Lucid is offline Lucid Post #2  December 30,2011, 2:21pm
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16 years is alot Fara, but at the end of the day its all just numbers.
The real question is.. are you matched well and do you have fun with him?
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #3  December 30,2011, 2:26pm
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Faraday wrote :
What do you guys think about that? I'm usually early for things...I'm wondering what this will be like if we have to be somewhere together if this progresses lol.
::shrug:: I guess you will usually do whatever you do when you arrive somwhere too early (smartphone, walk, check out the surroundings, order a drink or appetizer, read a book, etc.). Timing is difficult where I'm from due to traffic. I'm often 15 min early or late. Granted, I always text/call when I'm running late and I expect the same.

wrote :
Should I give it a go or is 16 years too much?
Well, I'm not dating one lady because she's 7 years older than me.
Last edited by shapeShifter79; December 30,2011 at 2:29pm.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #4  December 30,2011, 2:30pm
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Late Guy I might accept and manage around.

For me, when a person is not reliable, I do not rely on them. It is that simple. In the case of chronic lateness, for example, I might insist on meeting at my house or hers, so that I am not stuck somewhere waiting. Or, I might change from a meeting plan of "Let's meet at 7:00," to "Call me when you get in your car." If it's not incompetance or disrespect, I try to work with it before giving up.

Old Men don't sound appealing to me, but they messaged you and there's no downside to a meeting.
 
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Faraday is offline Faraday Post #5  December 30,2011, 2:30pm
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Lucid wrote :
16 years is alot Fara, but at the end of the day its all just numbers.
The real question is.. are you matched well and do you have fun with him?
I haven't met either of them yet I'm just wondering if people think age is just a number or if we should stick within our generation.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #6  December 30,2011, 2:34pm
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Faraday wrote :
I'm just wondering if people think age is just a number or if we should stick within our generation.

I look at interests and acheivements, and goals, rather than chronological age, in assessing compatibility.

If they are too much older or younger, such that retirement planning is impacted, then that means the relationship can only be of limited duration.

Other than that, and that I do not give a "handicap" for age, I like to check if they find me funny, and go from there.
 
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Faraday is offline Faraday Post #7  December 30,2011, 2:42pm
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D_Lion wrote :
I look at interests and acheivements, and goals, rather than chronological age, in assessing compatibility.

If they are too much older or younger, such that retirement planning is impacted, then that means the relationship can only be of limited duration.

Other than that, and that I do not give a "handicap" for age, I like to check if they find me funny, and go from there.
I think you're funny

So...if I were to date him, your thought would be it could be limited by retirement planning times...I was more concerned about the whole idea of him being 16 years older because men die first I could be alone a long time.

I look at where people are as well. That's why I usually date people in their mid-thirties...they're usually at the same place as me (with all that men maturing later stuff in mind).
 
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Special-K is offline Special-K Post #8  December 30,2011, 2:47pm
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As far as late guy, I think that will depend on how much of an irritation lateness is to you personally. I give everyone a 15-minute grace period w/o notification. After that, I expect a call or text to let me know, as I get that life happens and I have been in situations where I run late.

As to the other, I personally think that 16 years is too many years... but that's just me and you will find the members of this site as divided on this subject as the "who pays" subject.

My preference is 3-5 years on either side.

I don't care how young someone thinks he/she is/acts, more than ten years is still more than ten years... and people look and act older than they think they do...sorry!

Think about it this way, Far... even *if* you're attracted to *him* now, how are you going to feel about him when you're 40 and he's 56? I'm assuming a ltr is what you are looking for, so think long-term...

Good luck w/ both...
 
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Lucid is offline Lucid Post #9  December 30,2011, 2:49pm
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Well if you want a pessimistic answer heres one for ya..

He got his drivers licence the day you were born.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #10  December 30,2011, 2:51pm
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Being late, being early is one of those trivial adjustable differences. I tend to be on time, my bf is chronically late. When he says that he is half an hour away, I mentally adjust that to an hour. It's one of those pick your battles things and don't toss out a good person for silly things.

As for the age difference, I hear you and feel the same way - it grosses me out completely. It's not just a number and that gap in years and experience will become a big problem soon enough. Thinking down the road, there is a vast difference between 50 and 66 and between 60 and 76. Yes, there are exceptions, there are people for whom this works just fine. The problem is that it has to work for you. As such, it doesn't hurt to meet them and see if they might be a total exception to the rule. A date is just a date and not a contract to get married.
 
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