Just nerves or is there something seriously wrong here?


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jimmyh452 is offline jimmyh452 Post #21  December 23,2011, 5:32am
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Auroramox wrote :

1. He finds something unappealing about me physically.
Could be
2. He finds me intimidatingly attractive and is just nervous around me. He'd indicated over the phone before that my level of attractiveness made him a bit uncomfortable and he felt on a "lesser" level than me.
Doubt it
3. He thinks I'm a whore for giving in to his advances.
Maybe, but that just makes him a man whore.
4. He's just been exhausted the past few days from working his 12 hour shifts managing a store at the holidays and doesn't want to start something that would potentially cut into the few hours of sleep he gets those nights.
It is a busy time of year.

5. Though he's assured me it couldn't be further from the case, he's hung up on the girl he dumped a little over a month ago when we started talking again, or even possibly the ex-wife whom he divorced early this year.
Most probable option
6. I worry too much.
I don't know if you worry too much, but I do think anyone who tries to establish long distance relationships is begging for disappointment. Why not just find someone local?
 
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Auroramox is offline Auroramox Post #22  January 12,2012, 9:31am
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Well...to clear it up, if anyone's curious, it was a combination of #2 & #5. Even though the guy had been married, it seemed obvious to me he wasn't that sexually experienced. I didn't care. I think he did. I stayed for Christmas with him, during which the on-again-off-again jumping from warm towards me to entirely cold continued. Then the phone rang and the "Kiss Me" part of Katy Perry's E.T. song started playing....it was his ex-wife. He didn't sound thrilled to hear from her, but still....you'd think he could change a ring tone by now. I didn't say anything and went about the day just the same. He went to bed early, I said I was staying up, I just slept on the couch, and booked myself a hotel that night.

After he left for work the next day, I left a note and took a taxi to my hotel in downtown Denver. I stayed as long as I could on my budget before flying back and had a really, really great time there and met all kinds of new people on my own. So it shaped up to be an ok venture.

He did text me after he'd gotten home and seen that I was gone, saying he really was glad to have me there and I didn't have to leave, even if he had "been a disappointment." I just told him I had started feeling more and more unwelcome by the second, and felt it was in my best interest to go. That was the last I heard from him. The first time I was supposed to go to Colorado to visit him, I called it off because he started dating someone else a week before I was supposed to leave...even though we agreed we'd ignore other prospects until we gave each other a chance. When I talked to him about that, he said it had crossed his mind to still let me come out to visit and not tell me he was seeing someone else until after I'd left....so maybe that's what happened this time around, too. By my last two days there, I definitely got the feeling there was more going on than I was being made aware of.

Conclusion: he seemed to be an insecure scumbag on some level, and I am an idiot for letting him lead me along, but at least I turned the situation around for myself and made it into a good time without him.
Last edited by Auroramox; January 12,2012 at 11:10am.
 
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psgcooldog is online now psgcooldog Post #23  January 12,2012, 10:32am
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Auroramox wrote :
Well...to clear it up, if anyone's curious, it was a combination of #2 & #5.
We are always happy to hear the rest of the story here. Thanks for that.

And I'm glad to hear that you've handled it all so well!

Good luck!
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #24  January 12,2012, 10:44am
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Well you got a few days free stay and adventure, at least. That's he seeing several women and still in touch with the ex makes sense...he's on the rebound and trying all sorts of thing out.
He did take a lot of risks having a stranger come out and stay for an extended hook-up....as long as the adventure was fun and interesting for both....
 
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emma_hazards is offline emma_hazards Post #25  January 12,2012, 10:51am
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Thanks for the follow-up. Glad you were able to enjoy yourself after all. Denver is a great town.

There are a lot of frogs out there. You'll run into them periodically as you date. My only advice for the future: Don't stay at a strange man's house in a strange city. You had never met him, and a lot could have gone wrong. You were lucky. Get a hotel room, as you ultimately did anyway.

Better luck in your next relationship!
 
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