Why would a woman say THIS at the end of a first date and then not respond to my messages


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Muckraker1204 is offline Muckraker1204 Post #1  December 18,2011, 5:25pm
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So I met a woman on here two weeks ago that I REALLY connected with. We spoke three times on the phone before meeting, and each phone conversation lasted two-three hours. We had so much in common, and we never ran of of things to talk about.

We finally met at a restaurant at a very high-class shopping center. The date lasted a more than reasonable 90 minutes. When it was done, she volunteered to show me around the shopping center (it was my first time there). When we parted ways, she smiled and said "I had a FANTASTIC time" (with heavy emphasis on the word "fantastic).

I thought us seeing each other again was a slam dunk — my instincts about this have been correct before...I waited two days and left a message on her voicemail. She never responded. I wait two more days and texted her, and, again, she did not respond. That was a week ago, and I will make no more efforts to reach out to her. I guess that ship has sailed.

My question is this — why would this woman say these things to me, all but saying her interest in me is mutual and she definitely wants to see me again — and then just flat out not communicate any more?

(If she didn't want to see me again, or even if she felt lukewarm to the idea, I don't think she would have said she had a FANTASTIC time)

She's been back on the web site many times since our date, so I don't think there's another guy in the picture, at least not one in particular.

Just looking for some insight here.

Thanks!
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #2  December 18,2011, 6:50pm
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So I met a woman on here two weeks ago that I REALLY connected with. We spoke three times on the phone before meeting, and each phone conversation lasted two-three hours. We had so much in common, and we never ran of of things to talk about.

We finally met at a restaurant at a very high-class shopping center. The date lasted a more than reasonable 90 minutes. When it was done, she volunteered to show me around the shopping center (it was my first time there). When we parted ways, she smiled and said "I had a FANTASTIC time" (with heavy emphasis on the word "fantastic).

I thought us seeing each other again was a slam dunk — my instincts about this have been correct before...I waited two days and left a message on her voicemail. She never responded. I wait two more days and texted her, and, again, she did not respond. That was a week ago, and I will make no more efforts to reach out to her. I guess that ship has sailed.

My question is this — why would this woman say these things to me, all but saying her interest in me is mutual and she definitely wants to see me again — and then just flat out not communicate any more?

(If she didn't want to see me again, or even if she felt lukewarm to the idea, I don't think she would have said she had a FANTASTIC time)

She's been back on the web site many times since our date, so I don't think there's another guy in the picture, at least not one in particular.

Just looking for some insight here.

Thanks!
She could have still had a fantastic time....but just felt that you aren't a good match for her...

Now...after meeting face to face...I do think it's pretty lame for her to not just send a quick message letting you know that it's not a match..

Unfortunately....many don't follow that line of thinking...

You did all you could do...contacted her a few times....nothing back....DON'T do anymore...just let it go...

You'll find some people in life have manners....and some don't...

The only time I just disappear is if I am halfway through GC but haven't gotten to the end...I just close that match.

Otherwise...after a first date that I have a wonderful time but just not feeling it...I send an email the very next morning. Saying, "Thank you so much for a great evening...I enjoyed learning more about x, y, z....Even though it was a fun night, I just don't feel that we have enough to go forward. I do wish you good luck in your search"...

You can't get too invested in first dates....many of them don't make it past that...

Just brush it off and move on to the next
Last edited by Ingytravel; December 19,2011 at 5:51am.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #3  December 18,2011, 6:57pm
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...I waited two days and left a message on her voicemail.
There's your problem. If you really like a woman and want to see her again, call the next day.

Did the date end with a hug or a kiss? I've never gone on to a second date when the first one didn't end in a kiss (although that is no guarantee of a second date).
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #4  December 18,2011, 7:03pm
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So I met a woman on here two weeks ago that I REALLY connected with. We spoke three times on the phone before meeting, and each phone conversation lasted two-three hours. We had so much in common, and we never ran of of things to talk about.
This, of course, means little since it's before actually meeting.

wrote :
We finally met at a restaurant at a very high-class shopping center. The date lasted a more than reasonable 90 minutes. When it was done, she volunteered to show me around the shopping center (it was my first time there). When we parted ways, she smiled and said "I had a FANTASTIC time" (with heavy emphasis on the word "fantastic).
If you made it to "walking around" phase of the date that means she was interested. This was your opportunity to make contact--take her hand, put an arm around her, a kiss before parting. Some women don't require physical contact at this point, but your chances with most women are greatly improved when you confidently make a move and help them feel that chemistry.

Some women will even next you if you don't go for it.

wrote :
(If she didn't want to see me again, or even if she felt lukewarm to the idea, I don't think she would have said she had a FANTASTIC time) My question is this — why would this woman say these things to me, all but saying her interest in me is mutual and she definitely wants to see me again — and then just flat out not communicate any more?
That may have been your final cue to go in for a kiss.
 
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Buck is online now Buck Post #5  December 18,2011, 7:06pm
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While her behavior is annoying to the point of squashing any interest, why did you wait?
 
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upstategirl is offline upstategirl Post #6  December 18,2011, 7:07pm
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I thought us seeing each other again was a slam dunk — my instincts about this have been correct before...I waited two days and left a message on her voicemail.

So you thought seeing her again was a "slam dunk".....is that why you waited 2 days to call her? If you really had felt that the date went well and wanted to see her again, you should have called her the next day; or better yet, set another date at the end of your first date.
 
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OmahaJoe is offline OmahaJoe Post #7  December 18,2011, 7:12pm
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My question is this — why would this woman say these things to me, all but saying her interest in me is mutual and she definitely wants to see me again — and then just flat out not communicate any more?

She's evil....???? Maybe she's scatter-brained? Multiple personalities? Alzheimer's?
 
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Emmyjoy is offline Emmyjoy Post #8  December 18,2011, 7:32pm
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Try not to over-analyze what she said. I try to go by people's actions in dating instead of their words. And her actions are definitely saying "poof" to me.

Sorry! Been there. Good luck with the next one.
 
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pink_tulip is offline pink_tulip Post #9  December 18,2011, 8:33pm
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the past is in the past...

should have, would have, could have...

Next time don't take two days to call.... she might have had the wrong impression by that and did not bother replying... (which is wrong on her part)....

Best of luck
 
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pink_tulip is offline pink_tulip Post #10  December 18,2011, 9:32pm
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Hey, she might be one of those who is after free meals... did you pay for the date?
 
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