ami1uwant is online now ami1uwant Post #1  October 12,2011, 6:59pm
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i saw this article a couple of weeks ago inthe Sunday NY Times

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/25/fa...ref=modernlove

Its on dating and finding love and wondering is it something with you.
 
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HowICIt is offline HowICIt Post #2  October 12,2011, 7:06pm

This is just how this female sees it. Your mileage may vary.

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Thanks for the link. I really enjoyed it. I found it very cute, real and honest.

I liked when her date asked what was wrong with her and she answered "I don't know.". lol! I thought that was awesome.
 
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richey is offline richey Post #3  October 12,2011, 11:15pm
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Unless you are way off the beaten path of "socially graceful behavior"... almost always it is NOT you. It's NOT the other person either. It just didn't work for whatever reason and it wasn't a match that 1 or both people saw having potential.

The reasons could be legit or bs but even so ~ it's not either person's fault. Some people are more ready than others. Some people are more together than others. That's okay. That's what growing up and evolving is. That's what self-improvement is. We all get there a different way, at a different pace, at a different time.

Compatibility and chemistry (THE REAL stuff.. not the stuff most people ASSUME is that but isn't) are about when 2 people come together and they're in the same place, readiness, and position to move forward together. It's also about both people matching in what they both want to give and receive in a relationship.

Nothing wrong with anybody. We all get there somehow, someway, someday.... if it didn't work ~ it means you weren't both at the same spot.

Richey
 
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BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #4  October 13,2011, 11:48am
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I share the same opinion as Richey. It isn't about it being on one person or the other. If it is meant to be, then it will be. If it isn't, then it will not be.

All I ask from someone I meet and greet is to put their best foot forward and I will be sure to do the same. Hopefully, it will work out for the both of us. If not, then at least we tried and I could at least feel somewhat good about it.

B.Y.
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #5  October 13,2011, 12:51pm
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This is a great article. I can especially relate to this part:
wrote :
Like single women everywhere, I had bought into the idea that the problem must be me, that there was some essential flaw — arrogance, low self-esteem, fear of commitment — that needed to be fixed. I needed to be fixed.
I've gone the "self help" route, and tried to "fix" all of the things that I perceived had to be "wrong" with me - and it still didn't help. So, there had to be something else that I just wasn't seeing. That whole thing can just lead to one vicious cycle of self-loathing and self-doubt.

I think it is true that "no one can love you unless you love yourself". However, what it comes right down is the last line in the article:
wrote :
What’s wrong with me? Plenty. But that was never the point.
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #6  October 13,2011, 1:11pm
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Thanks for sharing the link.

For those of us who want to be in a relationship, who haven't found "the one" yet, we spend so much time listening to those telling us that just being who we are isn't good enough, that we should work to fix it... and potentially, that will end up with us being someone we aren't, to get someone we probably wouldn't want in the first place if we were just being ourselves...

we spend so much time listening to advice about what we need to fix, where we are personally going wrong... and I agree... that's not it at all.

Be comfortable about who you are... and not afraid to show it.
 
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