Is it okay to ask someone out on Facebook?


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lionhead27 is offline lionhead27 Post #1  October 11,2011, 10:19am
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This summer I moved to a new town to start graduate school. I joined the university running team and my first run with the club was with this girl (this is now two months ago). After the run I added her on Facebook. I think we hit it off quite well on the run, but i didn't think too much about it at the time. Lately, after seeing her in the library a few weeks ago, I've been thinking more and more about her and after looking through her Facebook profile I see that we share a lot of the same interests. Also, her Facebook profile states that she's single and interested in men.

Here's the problem: I don't see her regulary, I don't have her phone number and we don't have any mutual friends. I've only seen her on the first run and the one time in the library. The chance of me running into her again is slim (it's a large university), unless I go and hang out at her department, which I think would be slightly creepy.

Would it be okay for me to ask her out on Facebook? And how should I proceed when asking her on Facebook?
Last edited by lionhead27; October 11,2011 at 10:28am.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #2  October 11,2011, 10:24am
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Hey this is a new one! Most relationships involving Facebook have a sad ending. This one has the potential to start out on Facebook!

But sorry, lion, I don't do FB so I have nothing to offer other than why not. Just ask if she wants to meet at Ben & Jerry's or Starbucks.
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #3  October 11,2011, 10:37am
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tweet37 wrote :
Hey this is a new one! Most relationships involving Facebook have a sad ending. This one has the potential to start out on Facebook!
No kidding!

I have been asked out via FB before, and I had no problem with that. Of course, that happened to be a guy who I would have said yes to regardless of how he asked me out, so that has a lot to do with it.

Good luck!
 
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insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #4  October 11,2011, 10:45am
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mitchell175 wrote :
I have been asked out via FB before, and I had no problem with that. Of course, that happened to be a guy who I would have said yes to regardless of how he asked me out, so that has a lot to do with it.
lol!

Once again proving the old saying ... it's only creepy if you don't like the guy.
 
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harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #5  October 11,2011, 10:48am
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mitchell175 wrote :
No kidding!

I have been asked out via FB before, and I had no problem with that. Of course, that happened to be a guy who I would have said yes to regardless of how he asked me out, so that has a lot to do with it.

Good luck!
Did he start by posting things on your wall, or messaging you, or did he just ask you out of the blue?
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #6  October 11,2011, 10:51am
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Actually, in the first couple of years of facebook (2004-2006 or so), I'm pretty sure this was 90% of what it was used for. It was only after it became a venue for grandmas to comment on baby photos that I switched to using dating sites.

It may not be as common anymore, but there's still nothing wrong with asking her out that way. I would approach it the same way you would asking her out through any other medium of communication. Just remember that, unlike people on dating websites, not everyone on facebook is looking for someone to date. I can't see that you have anything to lose, though.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  October 11,2011, 10:58am
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Since you know this girl through the running club why don't you just ask her out in person when you go running?
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #8  October 11,2011, 10:58am
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harnomygirl wrote :
Did he start by posting things on your wall, or messaging you, or did he just ask you out of the blue?
Well, that is... a long story! But, I did know him from "real life" before FB, so it's not like he was completely a (cute) random stranger.

Alas, that whole encounter taught me one valuable lesson: Never, ever try to date someone who is on your FB Friends list! It just gets really messy later when you have to unfriend them.
 
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lionhead27 is offline lionhead27 Post #9  October 11,2011, 11:02am
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mitchell175 wrote :
No kidding!

I have been asked out via FB before, and I had no problem with that. Of course, that happened to be a guy who I would have said yes to regardless of how he asked me out, so that has a lot to do with it.

Good luck!
This is whats keeping me a little bit on the fence, she dont really know me and it's very easy to reject someone over Facebook. I am, however, just planning to use Facebook as the means of initial communication. Meaning no liking her statuses and posting on her wall or liking her pictures, and not trying to strike up a conversation. Just ask her out and wait for the date itself.
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #10  October 11,2011, 11:08am
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lionhead27 wrote :
I am, however, just planning to use Facebook as the means of initial communication. Meaning no liking her statuses and posting on her wall or liking her pictures, and not trying to strike up a conversation.
Aw, see, now that's the best part! Where your friends start asking you if you are dating someone, and you say "No, why?" then they wonder who's this guy posting all over your wall...

Anyway, how about you use the FB connection to inquire as to why she hasn't been at running club lately? That way you're not just popping in out of the blue to ask "Say, would you like to have dinner on Friday?" Then you can open the dialogue and see how things play out from there.

Then, when you're already established as "friends" (and not just random FB acquaintances), if you start posting on her wall and liking her statuses (stati?) it won't seem so creepy.
Last edited by mitchell175; October 11,2011 at 11:10am. Reason: But, as God is my witness, never, EVER again!
 
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