WHEN SHOULD A MAN CONTACT YOU AGAIN AFTER FIRST DATE?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
sarahtoronto is offline sarahtoronto Post #1  October 4,2011, 2:33pm
sarahtoronto's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Oct 2011

Posts: 18

See profile

Hi-
I met someone last Saturday. He asked if he could call me again. I said yes. It has been three days now. Did he loose interest or is this part of the game? -- I am unsure if I should send him a text and just ask how he is doing-- but again I feel unsure since he seemed to be interested, but now doesn't call.... What are your thoughts?
 
  Reply With Quote
savman is offline savman Post #2  October 4,2011, 2:39pm
savman's Avatar

is back in the game

Virtuoso

Joined: Nov 2010

Blissville

Posts: 2,779

See profile

If you require a man to do all the work in a relationship, invite, pay, call, then you should sit back and wait. This will work fine for guys who are like that.

But, in the year 2011 many people want interest to be shown in a much more equal manner. And to attract a man who views men and woman as equals, you will probably be required to stand up and show interest yourself. One of the best ways to do that is to initiate things yourself some of the time. Doing nothing is a great way to weed out these types of men.
 
  Reply With Quote
LDJ is offline LDJ Post #3  October 4,2011, 2:43pm
LDJ's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Jul 2010

Venus, apparently

Posts: 1,524

See profile

He might be thinking you absolute silence is an indication that you are not interested. There is nothing wrong with a friendly text, saying you hope he is having a good week and would he like to get together on the weekend.

Nothing ventured nothing gained. There are those guys who say they'll call and by not settin g up a specific next date or call date, don't actually mean it at all and just say it as a way to say so long or get out of explaining why they don't want to see you again, he could be one of those, the only way to find out is to send the text as I said or if you really have no problem with initiating call him rather than text.
 
  Reply With Quote
TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #4  October 4,2011, 2:56pm
TheThinker's Avatar

Just what you want to be...you will be in the end

Power Poster

Joined: Aug 2009

The Island of Rhode

Posts: 6,429

See profile

sarahtoronto wrote :
Hi-
I met someone last Saturday. He asked if he could call me again. I said yes. It has been three days now. Did he loose interest or is this part of the game? -- I am unsure if I should send him a text and just ask how he is doing-- but again I feel unsure since he seemed to be interested, but now doesn't call.... What are your thoughts?
He might be following the "3 day rule".;-/
My thoughts are he's not that interested, which is most likely.
Some guys use this as a line just to end the date..because they don't want to see you again and don't have much else to say.
Let's face it, it's non-committal and most women believe it means the guy is interested. It just works.

Real men don't need permission to call you...they'll just call you.
It's up to you of course, whether you decide to talk to him.
 
  Reply With Quote
sarahtoronto is offline sarahtoronto Post #5  October 4,2011, 2:59pm
sarahtoronto's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Oct 2011

Posts: 18

See profile

[QUOTE=savman;1427383]If you require a man to do all the work in a relationship, invite, pay, call, then you should sit back and wait. This will work fine for guys who are like that.

... thank you for your quick response-- and your advise--I agree with you that any kind of relationship should never be one sided. My only question is should I wait a bit longer - since he asked if he could call me again-- or just send a "casual text" and see if he replies... Since the weather is supposed to be nice this weekend I could also suggest if he would like to join me on some outdoor activity... I just don't know what is best---Thanks again- S
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #6  October 4,2011, 3:06pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,680

See profile

First thing is, that you shouldn't wait at all. (If he planned the first meeting, it is now your turn.)

Second, was any indication given of a second plan?

If no, then I would assume the forthcoming weekend will be the next opportunity to meet. I typically made preliminary plans prior to concluding one meeting, and partially finalized plans around lunchtime on Friday.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  October 4,2011, 3:19pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

LDJ wrote :
He might be thinking you absolute silence is an indication that you are not interested. There is nothing wrong with a friendly text, saying you hope he is having a good week and would he like to get together on the weekend.
Let me quote from one of your other posts in another thread. BTW I FIFY.

LDJ wrote :
Texts do not perpetuate emotional momentum sufficiently to build a relationship, they are only a useful way to exchange information. If you are going to build a relationship with someone, you need emotional intimacy to gradually grow, texting does not effectively do this.
 
  Reply With Quote
AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #8  October 4,2011, 3:24pm
AndieIsMe's Avatar

A letter in the mail is more precious than a 1000 IMs

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Nov 2009

Emerald Triangle

Posts: 8,148

See profile

I have a different take on this than most of the previous posters.

He asked if he could call you, not he asked if you two could chat on the phone some time. Whether he was genuine is his question to you remains to be seen. But, when someone asks me if they can or tells me that they will "call me" that is what I expect them to do. He put the ball in his own court! Let him hit it back to you!
 
  Reply With Quote
TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #9  October 4,2011, 3:42pm
TheThinker's Avatar

Just what you want to be...you will be in the end

Power Poster

Joined: Aug 2009

The Island of Rhode

Posts: 6,429

See profile

AndieIsMe wrote :
I have a different take on this than most of the previous posters.

He asked if he could call you, not he asked if you two could chat on the phone some time. Whether he was genuine is his question to you remains to be seen. But, when someone asks me if they can or tells me that they will "call me" that is what I expect them to do. He put the ball in his own court! Let him hit it back to you!
Yep.
And this is why he most likely won't call her.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #10  October 4,2011, 4:18pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,680

See profile

The question "May I call you?" is a soft way of asking the real question, which is "If I were to call you, will you answer or return my call?"

The only reason to ask either question is to ask if the date is interested.

It sounds like she has yet to show any active interest, and that would sure take the wind out of my sails.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Is debt a deal breaker for you? | Dating | After a month of dating girl is non responsive. »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Mitchell’s Musings on Men... mitchell175 eHarmony Advice Member Dating Journals 660 May 26,2012 8:37am
Why don't guys say "Thank You" after a date? Xable Dating 96 October 12,2011 7:31pm
Adventures in SpeedDating - a recap mitchell175 Dating 40 April 14,2011 1:52pm
a bad first date event as a bonding experience? scully98 Dating 12 March 19,2011 4:14pm
First Date un-jitters. I want the nervousness back! SteveVance Ask a Dating Expert 24 September 30,2010 10:22pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ ^This is the better plan.. My experience has been that love usually comes along when you least expect it, and when your heart is open enough to let it in. If you try to put a set time table on when ... ” –  TheThinker

Join the “Transition from dating to relationship” discussion

“ As Ingy mentions ...he's good with the lines and multitasking relationships.. All anyone can say is: don't get played again...especially by the same guy twice... Move on to someone who is decisive ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“This varies based on your age, gender, location, settings, and 29 dimensions. My settings are fairly narrow and I've always gotten a steady stream of matches. But, my location seems to have a lot ... ” –  dmi

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“I'm extremely allergic to cats, plus I just don't like 'em. So I won't date someone with cats. Dogs, I love. But I'm attracted to certain types of dogs. A guy with a little yorkie turns me off. ... ” –  ZisaGirl

Join the “What about a "PET BOX" ?? again this sounds simple or??” discussion

“If you get the opportunity, yes.” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“...and since you're Shaun Cassidy fan mitchell...this song is just for you! "Da Doo Ron Ron" I met her on a Monday And my heart stood still Da doo ron ron ron Da doo ron ron Somebody told me That ... ” –  legend29

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 8:48am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0