After a month of dating girl is non responsive.


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Jamiewan is offline Jamiewan Post #11  October 7,2011, 11:38am
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I'm pretty sure that's what it was. I'm already talking to some new girls, and trying to learn from my mistakes, but I want to try to stay on her radar. Not easy considering we don't run in the same circles. I figure I'll just send her a message every once in a while, maybe ask her if she wants to grab lunch. I don't mind being friends so much and I'd hate to lose track of her since we do have so much in common. I know it's a long shot but I'd like to keep hope alive.
 
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scully98 is offline scully98 Post #12  October 7,2011, 11:42am
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why do you want to stay friends with someone who isn't interested in dating you? her lack of interest is apparent. she's being nice, but she doesn't want to date you. there is no need to hang on even a little and hold out hope. nothing is going to happen here.
 
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BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #13  October 7,2011, 12:31pm
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You are doing too much. You need to back off and give her more space. You also need to learn how to cut your losses and move on. This person does not have time to invest in dating you. This person may not want to invest time because if she did, then she would. Never believe that a person can't do something since we all have free will.

You may want to start talking to other people and going out with other people. If you decide to take this approach, try finding someone who is able to effectively balance their professional life from their personal life as well as someone who wants to date you. There needs to be reciprocity and if there isn't any, then that should be a cue for you to move on.

I do understand and feel your frustration. I am also someone who doesn't like people who "flip the script". It is annoying and frustrating dealing with individuals whose behavioral patterns aren't balanced and consistent. So, to help make sense of your situation, learn that you are coming off a little needy and it may be a turn off for her. Once again, give her space and start finding other dates. Being inexperienced has nothing to do with you having common sense. Best of luck to you.

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Jamiewan is offline Jamiewan Post #14  October 8,2011, 4:27am
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All good advice. Thank you. My feelings have finally changed and I realize I'm not too interested in her anymore. Now I just want the book I left at her place back. It's a photo book that wasn't exactly cheap. She also left some glassware at my place. Any advice on how to make this happen?
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #15  October 9,2011, 1:28pm
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for a such a sudden change in her attitude I'd think she might have been seeing someone else or had interest in someone else.

the best way to deal with these kind of fickle people is to discontinue communication at the first sign of withdrawal. otherwise you'll end up a "chaser" and used.
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #16  October 9,2011, 4:16pm
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Not to make light of the circumstance (but perhaps it will add a bit of levity) but every time I glance at this thread title in the list, I consistently read it as:

"After a month of dating girl is now repulsive."

And yes, I'm sure Freud would have a field day with me.
Last edited by littlebluemonkeymind; October 9,2011 at 4:20pm. Reason: And I would bake him cookies...and ask about his childhood. :p
 
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Jamiewan is offline Jamiewan Post #17  October 10,2011, 7:32am
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I just got an email from her after I sent a text asking if I could pick up my book when she's done with it. Long story short - Friend Zone. But I'm cool with that. I've accepted that nothing is going to happen here and since we do have so much in common I'm happy to be friends with her. Thanks for all your advice. I'll keep it all in mind during my future dating adventures.
 
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BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #18  October 10,2011, 10:45am
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Jamiewan wrote :
I just got an email from her after I sent a text asking if I could pick up my book when she's done with it. Long story short - Friend Zone. But I'm cool with that. I've accepted that nothing is going to happen here and since we do have so much in common I'm happy to be friends with her. Thanks for all your advice. I'll keep it all in mind during my future dating adventures.
Well, at least you know where you stand with her. In the future, make sure you don't give her gf privileges nor priority. If friendzone it is, then friendzone it will be which goes both ways. You will be alright. There are others out there waiting to meet you. Go and get em!

B.Y.
 
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Jamiewan is offline Jamiewan Post #19  October 12,2011, 5:01am
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SteveManchesterEngland wrote :
for a such a sudden change in her attitude I'd think she might have been seeing someone else or had interest in someone else.

the best way to deal with these kind of fickle people is to discontinue communication at the first sign of withdrawal. otherwise you'll end up a "chaser" and used.
After moving ahead a bit and finding out more, this is exactly what it was. It hurts but it would have hurt less if she had just told me. Why oh why can't they just tell me instead of dragging it out like this?
 
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