That one special thing...


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dmc80809 is offline dmc80809 Post #1  June 29,2008, 1:48pm
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All of us here at the forum are looking to date, find romance and perhaps the right person to spend the rest of our lives with...it seems that we have all had a fair amount amount of serious relationship experience, but we are single now...is it because the people wehave been withwere close matches, but missing that one special, very importantquality...I was thinking today about what hasbeen missing for me in my previous relationships...


So, my question is: What quality or qualitiesare you looking for in a man/woman that you have not come across or found yet?
 
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Red Sox Girl is offline Red Sox Girl Post #2  June 29,2008, 2:16pm

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I don't think there is any single quality that I've not found in a partner - more a fact that in all cases, myself & they guy of the moment had too many incompatibilities for anything "permanent" to happen.
 
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shawneeman is offline shawneeman Post #3  June 29,2008, 3:08pm
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I think what you are saying is your looking for the perfect person and i can tell you right now there is no such a thing.Long gone are the couples that stay together forever,it used to be marriage was a vow that meant forever and people stuck it out.even if they grew to hate each other.I think everything goes in cycles,i myself have had many different relationships and certain qualities had been lacking in all of them.what that exact thing is impossible to say because things i liked before i don't neccessarily like now.people change and grow throughout their lives.nobody wants to stick it out anymore untill hopefully things get better.i don't mean to rain on anybodys parade and sound negative its just a fact.So we go on enjoying anothers company untill we are no longer satisfied and then we find another and try again.i think that the sooner we realize there are no perfect people in this world except for Jesus,then we can go on meeting others and enjoy their company and so on.isn't life so much fun,i personaly love life and i'm glad there aren't any perfect people.thats just my opinion,,enjoy your sunday everyone!
 
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HarryG is offline HarryG Post #4  June 29,2008, 3:18pm
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That's easy! Someone who is as crazy about me as I am about them. If I ever find a woman who thinks that I'm special (AND doesn't live 1000-3000 miles from me) then I would have very little to ask.
 
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thatonegirl is offline thatonegirl Post #5  June 29,2008, 3:26pm
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Probably the thing that has been consistently missing in the guys I date is maturity. Most of my past b/f'swere looking for someone to take care of them and make them be who they thought they should bebut weren't. So, now I'm on the lookout for someone who is already grown-up, not looking for a mommy, and fully capable of taking care of himself.
 
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HappyK is offline HappyK Post #6  July 9,2008, 7:53pm
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A man that is willing to make a commitment to marriage for life.
 
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general302002 is offline general302002 Post #7  July 9,2008, 7:56pm
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dmc80809, wrote :

All of us here at the forum are looking to date, find romance and perhaps the right person to spend the rest of our lives with...it seems that we have all had a fair amount amount of serious relationship experience, but we are single now...is it because the people wehave been withwere close matches, but missing that one special, very importantquality...I was thinking today about what hasbeen missing for me in my previous relationships...


So, my question is: What quality or qualitiesare you looking for in a man/woman that you have not come across or found yet?
I agree that I don't think it is just one thing. FOr me I had a great realtionship, and then we got married and then she didn't want to be intimate anymore. It wasn't until she wanted to have children that she became interested, this was three years later. Still I liked being married, I liked many aspects of that. So much so that it took me14 more years to finally decide this wasn't working. There were other things as well it wasn't just one thing or even a dozen. But if there was one quality that I am looking for now it is genuiness. If I date someone who is one way some of the time and another way other times that is a red flag. I am really consistent in my demeanor and in how I deal with situations no matter what they are.Obviously for both people there needs to be an attraction, but after that is is about building the trust and respect for each other. Similar interests help, similar perspectives on life helps, but really it is more about giving completely. Seems like that is harder at forty than it was at twenty five.
 
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CatMagnet is offline CatMagnet Post #8  July 9,2008, 7:59pm
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dmc80809, wrote :

All of us here at the forum are looking to date, find romance and perhaps the right person to spend the rest of our lives with...it seems that we have all had a fair amount amount of serious relationship experience, but we are single now...is it because the people we have been with were close matches, but missing that one special, very important quality...I was thinking today about what has been missing for me in my previous relationships...


So, my question is: What quality or qualities are you looking for in a man/woman that you have not come across or found yet?
The ability for me to accept him for who exactly he is and the ability for him to accept me for exactly who I am.





And he would need the patience of a saint.
 
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general302002 is offline general302002 Post #9  July 9,2008, 7:59pm
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Oh I forgot something. Look we live in an off the rack world. If you are looking for a perfect fit in every situation you are going to have to look really hard and even then you may be dissappointed. Everyone should ask themselves a question. Have I dealt with everything in my life perfectly? If you say no to that, then stop looking for a partner who can answer yes.
 
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sstimess is offline sstimess Post #10  July 9,2008, 8:06pm
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Instead of blaming men, how about looking at yourself. The one thing that is common in all of your relationships is you. If it ain't working for ya, time to take inventorty of yourself, your own expectations, fears and vast number of issues. Get at 'em and if necessary get some professional help. The only thing stopping you is you. And stop trying to change men, try accepting them for who they are the same way you would want to be accepted for who you are by them.
 
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