That one special thing...


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #11  July 9,2008, 8:10pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 18,865

See profile



A girl that will just give me a chance.
 
  Reply With Quote
RedWine is offline RedWine Post #12  July 9,2008, 8:27pm
RedWine's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2008

Sydney

Posts: 7

See profile



Funny that i have just read a comment that said that there was no forever that we just get out of each other the lesson we came to learn from them and then if we look at things with modern and mature eyes we would see that this is the ideal way to happiness to move on once that time is up. Possibly, i am a dreamer and possibly i haven't met someone who communicates as openly as i do. Mostly i find people do not resolve issues well and they are left to linger and get pushed aside or hidden away in the "we don't talk about that cupboard". I think if people had a better way ofresolving conflictsthen we would have longer lasting relationships. Its been lacking for me that i can fully settle myself and think that the man in my life isn't only there for the lesson or the time or the whatever but someone who is able to see me for all that i am and love it.I think that nobody is perfect there is just a perfect way of percieving someone.


Maybe our society has too much to offer and therefore "settling down" is seen as a full stop.An end to the fun of singledom and therefore it is put off as something that happens later and possibly never for some.


All i am sure of is that nobody can get through their lives without having love. Love is worth it and that is why we are all on here... just don't complicate it when it is the very basic of simplistic needs of every human.
 
  Reply With Quote
corky44 is offline corky44 Post #13  July 9,2008, 8:42pm
corky44's Avatar

Back to the grind

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2008

Texas

Posts: 4,152

See profile

HarryG,155638 wrote :

That's easy! Someone who is as crazy about me as I am about them. If I ever find a woman who thinks that I'm special (AND doesn't live 1000-3000 miles from me) then I would have very little to ask.
Actually, I'd take someone who is as crazy about me as I am about them even if they lived 1000 miles away. If I found that, I'd do whatever I could to work out the distance problem...[img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-kiss.gif[/img]
 
  Reply With Quote
Songryder is offline Songryder Post #14  July 9,2008, 9:11pm
Songryder's Avatar

A smile is worth singing for!

Virtuoso

Joined: Jun 2008

California

Posts: 2,501

See profile

thatonegirl,155648 wrote :

Probably the thing that has been consistently missing in the guys I date is maturity. Most of my past b/f'swere looking for someone to take care of them and make them be who they thought they should bebut weren't. So, now I'm on the lookout for someone who is already grown-up, not looking for a mommy, and fully capable of taking care of himself.
I would have to agree with the maturity thing. Some men (and women as well) want their partners to "fix" them, but the truth is no one can fix anyone and they usually wind up resenting it when you try because they really don't want to change. Trust me, I've had my share of momma's boys and guys with Peter Pan Syndrome. It's an epidemic! However, I've learned to spot them through their communications and the "subtle" things they do that tell me they're still 12. I'm a woman . . . I want a man not a child. I may find myself alone more often then not because of it but I'm willing to wait.
 
  Reply With Quote
jackx54321 is offline jackx54321 Post #15  July 9,2008, 9:45pm
jackx54321's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2008

Posts: 81

See profile

thatonegirl,155648 wrote :

Probably the thing that has been consistently missing in the guys I date is maturity. Most of my past b/f'swere looking for someone to take care of them and make them be who they thought they should bebut weren't. So, now I'm on the lookout for someone who is already grown-up, not looking for a mommy, and fully capable of taking care of himself.
Everybody has strengths and weaknesses and things they do not like to do or are not best at doing. That doesn't make them immature. What you want is an illusion. People take care of each other by complementing each others shortcomings. If you are perfect and don't need anybody to do anything for you then all you are looking for is companionship. Not a relationship. Lotsa luck.
 
  Reply With Quote
jackx54321 is offline jackx54321 Post #16  July 9,2008, 10:07pm
jackx54321's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2008

Posts: 81

See profile

shawneeman,155621 wrote :

I think what you are saying is your looking for the perfect person and i can tell you right now there is no such a thing.Long gone are the couples that stay together forever,it used to be marriage was a vow that meant forever and people stuck it out.even if they grew to hate each other.I think everything goes in cycles,i myself have had many different relationships and certain qualities had been lacking in all of them.what that exact thing is impossible to say because things i liked before i don't neccessarily like now.people change and grow throughout their lives.nobody wants to stick it out anymore untill hopefully things get better.i don't mean to rain on anybodys parade and sound negative its just a fact.So we go on enjoying anothers company untill we are no longer satisfied and then we find another and try again.i think that the sooner we realize there are no perfect people in this world except for Jesus,then we can go on meeting others and enjoy their company and so on.isn't life so much fun,i personaly love life and i'm glad there aren't any perfect people.thats just my opinion,,enjoy your sunday everyone!
You have it wrong. It used to be marriage was a vow that meant you stay together forever and people stuck it out because despite problems, disappoiintments, and real hardships they realized there was something more important. That is what real love and devotion are. My grandparents were together for fifty years and it would have been sixty had my grandmother lived as long as my grandfather. They got married in the Great Depression, lived with all the rationing and shortages of WWII, and lived a frugal lifestyle into their retirement. They didn't give up because they weren't "happy". They drove each other crazy but it wasn't important because they couldn't have loved and been more devoted to each other for anything.


People have no genuine strength of character or belief in moral virtues anymore.
 
  Reply With Quote
Umbertino is offline Umbertino Post #17  July 9,2008, 10:31pm
Umbertino's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Mar 2008

Oregon

Posts: 14

See profile



When it's right, it won't be one thing, it'll be everything. I found "The Invitation" by Oriah Mountain Dreamer very profound and inspirational in thinking about serious relationships.It's on her website, so a search will get you to it.
 
  Reply With Quote
ayekantspeylgud is offline ayekantspeylgud Post #18  July 9,2008, 11:11pm
ayekantspeylg…'s Avatar

is at home.

Newbie

Joined: Jan 2008

Posts: 18

See profile



JackX - I don't feel that ThatOneGirl's comments were looking for perfection at all. Maturity is a perfectly good thing to want and part of maturity is being self-aware and realizing what you want in life and how you would go about accomplishing it. Setting realistic goals for your life, and by "immaturity" she could've also been hinting at desperation. I have known people who almost seem to need to be shown every step - rather than going out and learning it themselves. To me, a mature person figures things out and doesn't live in their mistakes, and makes an earnest effort to constantly move forward. However, I agree with your comments in response to ShawneeMan.


And as far as that "one special thing" - I still don't think that DMC80809 is asking for perfection at all. That "one special thing" for me happens to be a combination of everything I have been looking for which includes the ability to be myself, the other person being comfortable being theirself with me, respect from both, honesty, openness, stellar communication, ability to talk about literally any topic light or heavy, complete acceptance, trust, willingness to work together/cooperate/compromise, good sense of humor, patience, willingness to listen a lot (I ramble a ton), willingness to talk (I also love to listen), understanding, taller than me, and more and as I sit and think about my list I have a very specific person in mind who fits all my criteria AND THEN SOME.


Although I think that some criteria from someone are going to be too impossible, I don't think that people should settle for less than what they really want and deserve and if you have to have certain qualities and traits in the fundamental core of the person, then by all means seek them out!
 
  Reply With Quote
BigTime99 is offline BigTime99 Post #19  July 9,2008, 11:13pm
BigTime99's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2007

NJ

Posts: 35

See profile

general302002,165176 wrote :

Oh I forgot something. Look we live in an off the rack world. If you are looking for a perfect fit in every situation you are going to have to look really hard and even then you may be dissappointed. Everyone should ask themselves a question. Have I dealt with everything in my life perfectly? If you say no to that, then stop looking for a partner who can answer yes.
A partner who can answer yes
 
  Reply With Quote
PeacefulPath is offline PeacefulPath Post #20  July 10,2008, 2:25am
PeacefulPath's Avatar

is happy.

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2008

Los Angeles County, USA

Posts: 2

See profile



Truth. It is hard to find a lady who will be truthful in her words and actions. I have been dating a lady who is a master at selective truths to weave lies. It's funny to see her try to master the web she weaves, when she practices to decieve. The "truth" of the matter is, if she would only be truthful it would be more peaceful and easy.


Why is it that people feel they should protect others from their own feelings. When, in fact, they create a sling shot effect by pulling the truth to far away from the situation and then - snap! - it all flies forward at mega speed anyway.


The one special thing I would like to see more often is truth. It's a simple request, but it's not easy to find.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Did he "freak out"? Need some advice... | Dating | my eH gripes for the day »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:40pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0