Sparkles56 is offline Sparkles56 Post #1  September 1,2011, 3:24pm
Sparkles56's Avatar

Contemplation must bring forth right action to permit further growth.

Veteran

Joined: Sep 2010

Ohio

Posts: 1,679

See profile

Over time, I've read a number of books that have had an influence on my dating life, even though dating is not the primary subject matter. These titles deal with all kinds of social interactions and I recommend them highly.

Buck Up, Suck Up... and Come Back When You Foul Up: 12 Winning Secrets from the War Room: James Carville, Paul Begala.

In "Buck Up", Political pundits Carville and Begala illustrate how to get stuff done through social interactions and a positive attitude. Even though the "stuff" in this case, is business or politics, it's similar to dating in that it's a zero-sum game - you either get the sale (promotion, girl/guy) or you don't. And there are some social interactions and attitudes that are applicable to both arenas, even if you are a classy gentleman instead of a player.

How To Win Friends And Influence People: Dale Carnegie. This is the quintessential book on social interactions of all kinds. It is less "hard nosed" than "Buck Up" but highly applicable nevertheless.

Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships: Daniel Goleman.

In Social Intelligence, Goleman describes social interactions on a physiological level. It really helped me comprehend the concept of 'signals' and even 'chemistry', and specifically, the physiological origins of these aspects of dating. Knowing this helped me understand why it's bad to have nervous energy and better to just be oneself when dating.

Blink: Malcom Gladwell. This one was actually given to me by an eH match who is still a friend. This book supplemented what I learned in Social Intelligence, but also touched upon some of the failure modes of overthinking things.

What books can everyone else add to this list?
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  September 1,2011, 3:43pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

How to Get a Date Worth Keeping: Dr. Henry Cloud. This book was first given to me by an eHarmony match to read. I then purchased my own copy and have read it several times. Dr. Cloud presents the program that he uses as a dating coach.

Perfect Match: Dr. Kevin Leman. This book was suggested to me by an Advice board member as something I may enjoy reading. Similar to the above book but from a different perspective.

Boundaries in Dating: Dr. Henry Could and Dr. John Townsend. Deals with setting your boundaries and how and why you should stand firm on your boundaries with special emphasis with respect to dating.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  September 1,2011, 4:39pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,680

See profile

For me, most of what I've read about relationships is research, much of it somewhat technical.

Beyond that, media (New York Times, Financial Times) which I largely pick out numbers from.

The only book I can recall reading, that actually centered on relationships as a theme, was "Love, Greg and Lauren," written by a man whose wife was injured in the WTC attack.

***

In general, I don't like trying to apply business-derived doctrines to relationships. (Frankly, I already do too much of that.)
 
  Reply With Quote
lunabeach is offline lunabeach Post #4  September 1,2011, 6:12pm
lunabeach's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Jun 2010

Ohio

Posts: 2,167

See profile

...
Last edited by lunabeach; September 1,2011 at 6:16pm. Reason: double
 
  Reply With Quote
lunabeach is offline lunabeach Post #5  September 1,2011, 6:12pm
lunabeach's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Jun 2010

Ohio

Posts: 2,167

See profile

I read an article about Spousonomics on NPR.com (I think) - it's a d_lion kind of relationship book. Allocate those resources, baby.

I've mentioned Attached before; I really can't recommend it enough for people doing the online thing (for anyone, really, but online especially).

General books I like about people and the world and relating to both are How Pleasure Works (very entertaining and informative - he asserts that virginity is an example of essentialism and fetishism; now, who doesn't want to read that?), Stumbling on Happiness (happiness, what it is, what makes people happy, why we aren't always accurately cued into what really makes us happy), and Diane Ackerman's A Natural History of the Senses and A Natural History of Love. Ackerman is one of my favorite writers - so much information and presented so sensually that you just sink in and absorb it.
Last edited by lunabeach; September 1,2011 at 6:16pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« how would you react | Dating | Dating outside your type »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Guide for Group Owners/Admins? Sassafras54 Groupies: A Group For Group Board Owners & Admins 4 May 24,2011 8:27am
What are you reading today? jzjames Beautiful minds 5 August 26,2010 3:01am
Recommended Reading justme27 Finance! 3 January 10,2010 6:40pm
Reading thru the Bible waltercl A Peaceful Oasis 2 June 26,2009 12:22am
Survival Guide for Conservatives? legend29 Politics 8 May 28,2009 8:17pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ ^This is the better plan.. My experience has been that love usually comes along when you least expect it, and when your heart is open enough to let it in. If you try to put a set time table on when ... ” –  TheThinker

Join the “Transition from dating to relationship” discussion

“ As Ingy mentions ...he's good with the lines and multitasking relationships.. All anyone can say is: don't get played again...especially by the same guy twice... Move on to someone who is decisive ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“This varies based on your age, gender, location, settings, and 29 dimensions. My settings are fairly narrow and I've always gotten a steady stream of matches. But, my location seems to have a lot ... ” –  dmi

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“I'm extremely allergic to cats, plus I just don't like 'em. So I won't date someone with cats. Dogs, I love. But I'm attracted to certain types of dogs. A guy with a little yorkie turns me off. ... ” –  ZisaGirl

Join the “What about a "PET BOX" ?? again this sounds simple or??” discussion

“If you get the opportunity, yes.” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“...and since you're Shaun Cassidy fan mitchell...this song is just for you! "Da Doo Ron Ron" I met her on a Monday And my heart stood still Da doo ron ron ron Da doo ron ron Somebody told me That ... ” –  legend29

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 8:39am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0