Early stage: meeting several girls


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dm23 is offline dm23 Post #1  August 31,2011, 9:19pm
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I am wondering how you handle having several different first dates at around the same time?

For example, I just started going out for dates again and had 4 different first dates on the last weekend. I liked three of them a lot and it went really well. I'll meet them (separately!) for 2nd dates soon, but I feel a bit weird about it. Because, what if I meet one of them and it goes so well that we kiss, but I want to give the other girls a chance too? I really don't have a clear favorite yet. I don't want to tell them (unless they ask) that I have upcoming other dates as well, because once I did exactly that with a girl and she didn't like it ("that's too much information!", she said).

In short, I really don't know how to handle this early stage of dating, where you meet several girls. I don't want to act reserved just because I have other dates coming up, but on the other hand it wouldn't be right to do anything physical unless I commit to one of them.

Any advice?
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #2  August 31,2011, 9:34pm
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wrote :
what if I meet one of them and it goes so well that we kiss, but I want to give the other girls a chance too?
Then you give other girls a chance, after you've kissed the first one!

wrote :
I don't want to tell them (unless they ask) that I have upcoming other dates as well
Until you've discussed exclusivity and agreed to it, you're doing nothing wrong seeing multiple women. And you're right, it's best not to rub their noses in it and talk about them either.

wrote :
it wouldn't be right to do anything physical unless I commit to one of them.
There's nothing "wrong" about kissing one girl, and then seeing another--as long as you never implied or stated that you're exclusive. Do only what you're comfortable with, but consider that these self-imposed rules make dating more complicated.
 
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ami1uwant is online now ami1uwant Post #3  August 31,2011, 10:35pm
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This isnt a race or you trying to make a guiness book...

Its fine to multidate but if any one of these women find out you had another date on the same day you are toast.

If you felt three of these 4 are good...then you set up dates with all 3 on different days and date them and see how it goes.

Remember this is a two way street...

They are likely dating other men so just because you narroe it down to one women doesnt mean that woman wuill want you.
 
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dm23 is offline dm23 Post #4  August 31,2011, 11:15pm
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ami1uwant wrote :
This isnt a race or you trying to make a guiness book...

Its fine to multidate but if any one of these women find out you had another date on the same day you are toast.
Why do you say that? Why not have two dates in a day? Other people do speed dating and meet 10 girls in one night.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #5  September 1,2011, 3:57am
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dm23 wrote :
....I feel a bit weird about it. Because, what if I meet one of them and it goes so well that we kiss, but I want to give the other girls a chance too?
Whats wrong with kissing them all, or better yet.....
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  September 1,2011, 4:58am
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tweet37 wrote :
Whats wrong with kissing them all, or better yet.....
I was kind of thinking the same thing
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  September 1,2011, 5:06am
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Until you and one of your matches / dates have discussed and agreed that you BOTH want to be exclusive then you should be dating others and you should assume that your match is also dating others. Personally I would not have multiple dates on the same day and I would probably want to spread the dates with the different girls out over the week.

dm23 wrote :
I'll meet them (separately!) for 2nd dates soon ...
This is a little presumptuous unless you ended the first date with a second date already planned.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  September 1,2011, 5:24am
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dm23 wrote :
Why do you say that? Why not have two dates in a day? Other people do speed dating and meet 10 girls in one night.
Speed dating is not dating as in going on a date. Speed dating is in many ways the same as being on a dating site. You get introduced to and communicate briefly with multiple matches. If that introduction and brief communication piqued your interest then you move on to planning a date.

The reason that you don't plan more than one date per day is that it is disrespectful to be looking at your watch thinking about how you have to end this date so you can rush across town to your second date of the day. And why would you want to artificially end a date that is going well just so you can go to meet another match?
 
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HelenDanger is offline HelenDanger Post #9  September 1,2011, 8:31am
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You can kiss and hug everyone without being considered easy or a disease risk. No worries there.

You shouldn't discuss other dates because: a) the woman in front of you is supposed to receive all of your attention while she's there, and b) it's considered polite to be discreet about who else you are meeting and considering. That stuff only gets put on the table when one of you wants exclusivity.
 
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tangochef is offline tangochef Post #10  September 1,2011, 8:48am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
...
The reason that you don't plan more than one date per day is that it is disrespectful to be looking at your watch thinking about how you have to end this date so you can rush across town to your second date of the day. And why would you want to artificially end a date that is going well just so you can go to meet another match?
If one plans the dates well, then there is no reason to be looking at one's watch or artificially ending the date.

A lot of times I will have a coffee/lunch (first date), and a dinner (second plus) date the same day.
 
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