pocketsize is offline pocketsize Post #1  August 29,2011, 5:07pm
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Hi there -

So I've been communicating with two gentlemen on eHarmony for a few weeks now. We've reached the point of Open Communication and I'm enjoying our conversations.

When is it appropriate to ask for an inperson meeting? Should I wait for the men to initiate that?

I kind of feel like emailing every other day, one or two lines every other day, is a bit of a waste!

What do you all think?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  August 29,2011, 5:12pm
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You can invite for a meeting at any time.

Or, you can propose a meeting.

Personally, I propose meetings - so there is no gender identity issue for me, and thus it is immaterial who brings it up first.

For me, a few weeks is a few weeks to long to not have met.

I think the best course of action is to suggest a meeting venue or plan.
 
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swirly is offline swirly Post #3  August 29,2011, 5:21pm
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How about asking, "How would you like to meet up for ____ next ____?"
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #4  August 29,2011, 5:22pm
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pocketsize wrote :
Hi there -

So I've been communicating with two gentlemen on eHarmony for a few weeks now. We've reached the point of Open Communication and I'm enjoying our conversations.

When is it appropriate to ask for an inperson meeting? Should I wait for the men to initiate that?

I kind of feel like emailing every other day, one or two lines every other day, is a bit of a waste!

What do you all think?
a few weeks and they havent suggested meeting? they send you a couple of lines in an email?

what i personally would do is completely ignore both of them till they ask for your number or to meet.

did you initiate with them or did they initiate with you, initially?
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #5  August 29,2011, 5:28pm
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wrote :
Should I wait for the men to initiate that?
That's up to you. Some women initiate, others wait for the guy to initiate. There are pros and cons to both approaches.

wrote :
When is it appropriate to ask for an inperson meeting?
As soon as you like. I typically do this within the first couple e-mails, because I don't want to exchange dozens of messages with someone only to discover there's no chemistry.
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #6  August 29,2011, 5:29pm
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Nanette wrote :
they send you a couple of lines in an email?
That would bug me, too. When a women doesn't put any effort into her communications to me, I lose interest quickly.
 
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pocketsize is offline pocketsize Post #7  August 29,2011, 6:13pm
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Yes, I'm seriously starting to lose interest. I gave the guy my phone number within in the first few emails and he said he would call but decided to keep emailing.

I think I'm going to just suggest a meeting for sometime this week or weekend. I feel like emailing for several weeks, with seemingly no potential because he hasn't called and hasn't expressed interest in meeting is a waste of time.

Thanks everyone!
 
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upstategirl is offline upstategirl Post #8  August 29,2011, 7:04pm
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pocketsize wrote :
Yes, I'm seriously starting to lose interest. I gave the guy my phone number within in the first few emails and he said he would call but decided to keep emailing.

I think I'm going to just suggest a meeting for sometime this week or weekend. I feel like emailing for several weeks, with seemingly no potential because he hasn't called and hasn't expressed interest in meeting is a waste of time.

Thanks everyone!
This is your best bet and you will find out quickly if they really want to meet. When I was on eH, this happened twice to me.....endless emails but no mention of meeting. I finally emailed them both with a suggested date to meet and they both poofed on me.

Better to find out sooner, rather than waste any more of your time.
 
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ami1uwant is online now ami1uwant Post #9  August 29,2011, 9:11pm
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If they havent asked you and you have been communicating with them for a few weeks...either they are rather newbies to the site....ir you arent their first choice because they are currently dating others so they are keeping you in the loop until they are ready to date you next.

If you are interesting in meetin up for coffee or something else....ask.
 
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pocketsize is offline pocketsize Post #10  August 29,2011, 9:34pm
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@ Enthusiast -

I sent them both an email - One replied and said that he is currently in Sweden visiting family and we would meet up when he gets back, and the other one hasn't replied yet. I agree with you, I'd rather know sooner than later.

@ Virtuoso -

I don't doubt that what you're saying is quite accurate. I have spent my entire life making excuses for men, and now that I'm over making excuses for them one could say that I'm quite cynical and jaded but a little smarter when it comes to dealing with potential deception. With that said, if my assumption (and in turn, your assessment) is accurate, I'd rather cut my losses because I'm no one's second choice. I understand that sometimes we have no choice but to be a second choice when it comes to online dating, but I know how amazing I am and there are tons of guys I meet on a regular basis in the real world who would put me first and actually take me out without weeks of endless and mindless conversation! I suggested a meeting, if it feels like he is blowing me off, I'll respond accordingly!

Thank you everyone! :-)
 
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