Man if only I could ask one of these girls if I could put her on standbye for awhile


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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #1  August 24,2011, 9:44pm
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I have three dates set up over the next few weeks. Three dates in that amount of time normally wouldn't be a huge deal but two of them are long distance and I am also pretty busy with other things right now.

All three of them seem cool though and I would normally like to meet all three but I am just not in the mood currently to see all three.

So I am going to cancel on one of them and I decided today which one I am going to cancel with but I sure wouldn't mind it if she would be cool with being on hold for awhile. Alas though I already brought up a date for us to meet so I can't really do that. Oh well.
Last edited by sony12; August 24,2011 at 9:48pm.
 
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ChainMan is offline ChainMan Post #2  August 24,2011, 10:02pm
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Re-schedule, not cancel.
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #3  August 24,2011, 10:24pm
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ChainMan wrote :
Re-schedule, not cancel.
In this situation though I don't think that would work to well. I already set the date a month out (which is a long time) because of everything I got going on. So pushing it back another month wouldn't take to well in my opinion (and if I get along real well with one of the other girls I likely would cancel her anyway).
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  August 25,2011, 3:45am
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sony12 wrote :
In this situation though I don't think that would work to well. I already set the date a month out (which is a long time) because of everything I got going on. So pushing it back another month wouldn't take to well in my opinion (and if I get along real well with one of the other girls I likely would cancel her anyway).
The operative word here is "IF". The likelihood of a first date leading to a second date is slim to none IME. So to ever cancel a date is just shooting yourself in the foot.
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #5  August 25,2011, 4:40am
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sony12 wrote :
I sure wouldn't mind it if she would be cool with being on hold for awhile.
She may be cool with that. You never know. I dated plenty of women months or even (on a couple of occasions) a year or more after beginning communication on eH. Other times there were weeks or months between dates. (I'm pretty busy with career, traveling, dating, friends, etc. and tend to date people who are, as well.) There's a lot of talk from people on these forums who say they won't do that, but I was pleasantly surprised by how many will. Life happens, I guess.

I realize it's more awkward now that you've established a date and are canceling it, but if you tell her you're too busy now and hope to have more free time in the future, and keep her number, it might work. Or it might not. It's always a gamble.
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #6  August 25,2011, 5:34am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
The operative word here is "IF". The likelihood of a first date leading to a second date is slim to none IME. So to ever cancel a date is just shooting yourself in the foot.
You do realize that half of my first dates (maybe even more then half) the girl either feels me up or lets me feel her up. The lack of popularity with dates that you read so much about on these forums isn't as wide spread as you would like to think.
Last edited by sony12; August 25,2011 at 5:46am.
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #7  August 25,2011, 7:01am
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"Feels me up?"

Seriously, why does this matter? If you expect this as an outcome of your dates, this shouldn't change your behavior, whether you have 1 date this week or 9 dates this week.
Last edited by eH_Advice_Host_Eve; August 27,2011 at 10:38am. Reason: removed personal attack
 
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karajoyfull is offline karajoyfull Post #8  August 25,2011, 8:59am
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sony12 wrote :
... I sure wouldn't mind it if she would be cool with being on hold for awhile. Alas though I already brought up a date for us to meet so I can't really do that. Oh well.
Well, if your going to cancel anyway, I don't see any harm in asking her if she'd be open to hearing from you in the future when things settle down a bit. The worst she can say is "no thanks" and then you'll be in the same place you would have been if you just canceled and didn't reschedule.

That being said, you never seem to have a shortage of dates, so I'm sure you'll find another interesting match when your schedule frees up.
 
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HelenDanger is offline HelenDanger Post #9  August 26,2011, 1:22pm
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sony12 wrote :
I have three dates set up over the next few weeks. Three dates in that amount of time normally wouldn't be a huge deal but two of them are long distance and I am also pretty busy with other things right now.

All three of them seem cool though and I would normally like to meet all three but I am just not in the mood currently to see all three.

So I am going to cancel on one of them and I decided today which one I am going to cancel with but I sure wouldn't mind it if she would be cool with being on hold for awhile. Alas though I already brought up a date for us to meet so I can't really do that. Oh well.
Why be fake? If that's how you really feel about her I think you should let her know. That way she can make her own decisions.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Eve is offline eH_Advice_Host_Eve — Advice Official Moderator Post #10  August 27,2011, 10:48am
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karajoyfull wrote :
Well, if your going to cancel anyway, I don't see any harm in asking her if she'd be open to hearing from you in the future when things settle down a bit. The worst she can say is "no thanks" and then you'll be in the same place you would have been if you just canceled and didn't reschedule.

That being said, you never seem to have a shortage of dates, so I'm sure you'll find another interesting match when your schedule frees up.
I agree with Kara... the worst she can say is no.
Last edited by eH_Advice_Host_Eve; August 27,2011 at 10:48am. Reason: typo
 
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