Is this normal communication on eH?


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swirly is offline swirly Post #1  August 24,2011, 4:43pm
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I joined eH 2 weeks ago and was matched immediately with someone I thought I'd be interested in. The day after my pictures were posted, he started the GC and went to OC soon after. We exchanged emails back-and-forth for a week (1-2 exchanges/day). He asked for more pictures. To be fair, I only had head shots posted.

I emailed him some full body shots and received compliments on them. We exchanged some back-and-forth emails outside eH. However, he had not asked for my #. I mentioned this, and that I am not looking for a pen pal, and I offered my #. He texted me. There has not been any real mention of meeting.

Is this normal? Or would you be a bit frustrated? I have already been somewhat direct by offering the #, expecting he'd give me his or that he would call. Perhaps his interest level is low, and I should close?

WWYD?
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #2  August 24,2011, 4:56pm
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once he has your phone number stop communicating with him online. there is absolutely no excuse (unless he doesnt want a *real* *in person* relationship) to continue communications online at this point.

either he isnt interested in a relationship or he isnt what he represented himself to be imo. no what hes doing isnt normal.

PS: i would ignore him completely till he steps up.
Last edited by Nanette; August 24,2011 at 5:13pm.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #3  August 24,2011, 4:57pm
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he's either a time waster or, like you say, his interest level is pretty low.
You have three choices, I'd say..you can call him, or suggest a meeting...or move on.
It doesn't sound like he's going to do either one of the first two.
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #4  August 24,2011, 5:01pm
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You pretty much ruined any opportunity with this person when you acted rudely by saying you weren't looking for a pen pal.

Generally people who are all that interested enough to meet will move things along faster then that (at least if they know what they are doing).

But you need to start practicing better social graces then that. If you make a habit of talking to your matches like that you will just be wasting your money on this site because nobody will want to meet you.
 
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upstategirl is offline upstategirl Post #5  August 24,2011, 5:09pm
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No, this is not normal. For whatever reason, sounds like he is in no hurry to meet anytime soon (if at all.) If you are interested in meeting him, I would suggest a specific meeting time/place and see how he responds.
 
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swirly is offline swirly Post #6  August 24,2011, 5:27pm
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Yes, I agree, ignore until he shows interest. After giving him my #, he sent me a piddly text (that was 2 days ago). Neither of us has contacted the other since. Oh well, his turn.

Update:
Not even 5 minutes after my last post, he called for the first time and we chatted for a good half hour. Some things I found questionable were that he called while he was out at a grocery store and that he had not remembered certain things we had talked about (i.e. where I'm originally from), though he did remember most other things. At the end, he asked if he could call me again soon.

So, am I still off-base to assume there is still a *bit* of disconnect here? Or is this completely normal? I have little experience in this...
Last edited by swirly; August 24,2011 at 7:23pm.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #7  August 24,2011, 8:33pm
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well hes probably (hopefully) talking with other people besides you... most of these things dont work out no matter how well it seems that you connect.

it would bother me more that he didnt even ask you out.

honestly i dont think that i would be concerning myself over this that much. just continue to meet and/or communicate with other people and assume he's doing the same.
 
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rules is offline rules Post #8  August 24,2011, 8:49pm
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swirly wrote :
Yes, I agree, ignore until he shows interest. After giving him my #, he sent me a piddly text (that was 2 days ago). Neither of us has contacted the other since. Oh well, his turn.

Update:
Not even 5 minutes after my last post, he called for the first time and we chatted for a good half hour. Some things I found questionable were that he called while he was out at a grocery store and that he had not remembered certain things we had talked about (i.e. where I'm originally from), though he did remember most other things. At the end, he asked if he could call me again soon.

So, am I still off-base to assume there is still a *bit* of disconnect here? Or is this completely normal? I have little experience in this...
It's completely normal that the person doesn't remember things about you. One guy didn't remember what city I lived in, and his interest level was high. Many have called me when they are driving or just out of the house. It does seem like he's interested, although it sounds like he's either "multi-dating" or new to online dating.
 
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ChainMan is offline ChainMan Post #9  August 24,2011, 10:16pm
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swirly wrote :
Yes, I agree, ignore until he shows interest. After giving him my #, he sent me a piddly text (that was 2 days ago). Neither of us has contacted the other since. Oh well, his turn.

Update:
Not even 5 minutes after my last post, he called for the first time and we chatted for a good half hour. Some things I found questionable were that he called while he was out at a grocery store and that he had not remembered certain things we had talked about (i.e. where I'm originally from), though he did remember most other things. At the end, he asked if he could call me again soon.

So, am I still off-base to assume there is still a *bit* of disconnect here? Or is this completely normal? I have little experience in this...
You seem to sense the "disconnect." Trust your intuition.

That is NOT normal calling from a grocery store. The first call from a store signals how little he values you to call without his undivided attention on the first conversation.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #10  August 24,2011, 10:27pm
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I'd wait for him to step up ... and meanwhile pay attention to other matches. It's possible he's a bit clueless but once you manage to connect he'd be great. It's also possible he's just messing around or is not terrifically interested.

I wouldn't jump to any conclusions based on what you've seen of him so far. Keep an open mind ... you can't really know what someone's like based on some minor cyber interaction, right? But for the same reason, don't get over-invested! Good luck.
 
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