Stood up! Would you give him another chance?!


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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #1  August 17,2011, 9:49am
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Okay... we were supposed to meet, not for coffee... not for drinks... not for dinner or lunch or anything like that... just meet, sit down in a quiet space before work and have a nice little chat. I had an appointment before hand, and made it there as quickly as I could... was 8 minutes late. He was no where in sight! Drove all around, and no where. Stayed another 10 minutes... nothing. Get a call from him 20 minutes later, he says he was there and didn't see me. That there was no one there, and he was just leaving...

Something's just not adding up here...

He says there was no one in the parking lot, when in actuality... there were two other people there (I was there, I know). We verified this was the same place, and he says he was on time and literally sat there waiting for me for 40 minutes...

Something's just not adding up here...

What think? Give him another chance?
 
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StingFanChicago is offline StingFanChicago Post #2  August 17,2011, 10:02am
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jussmile wrote :
Okay... we were supposed to meet, not for coffee... not for drinks... not for dinner or lunch or anything like that... just meet, sit down in a quiet space before work and have a nice little chat. I had an appointment before hand, and made it there as quickly as I could... was 8 minutes late. He was no where in sight! Drove all around, and no where. Stayed another 10 minutes... nothing. Get a call from him 20 minutes later, he says he was there and didn't see me. That there was no one there, and he was just leaving...

Something's just not adding up here...

He says there was no one in the parking lot, when in actuality... there were two other people there (I was there, I know). We verified this was the same place, and he says he was on time and literally sat there waiting for me for 40 minutes...

Something's just not adding up here...

What think? Give him another chance?
I don't like this situation one bit! No second chance, he is playing games with you. I bet he didn't even show up. He had your phone number but didn't bother to call or text that he was there or ask you if you were running late before he "left" correct? As long as you confirmed you were both in the right agreed upon location, then that's bogus. Also, 8 minutes late is not good, but not too long that he couldn't have waited at least 10 or 15 min before "leaving." Some other red flags for me is the fact that you guys were just meeting for a quick chat? Seems strange and lacking any bit of commitment to the situation. Who's idea was that? If you don't like each other enough at this point to at least meet for one little cup of coffee, then I'd say there isn't any interest there, or maybe he's married and just looking for some "nookie." Good luck either way.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #3  August 17,2011, 10:03am
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I would. I would make sure I knew what each other was wearing.

You were meeting in a parking lot? Room for error there...

Couldn't you arrange to meet at a bench you both know in the park, or a fountain...something like that? Narrow it down.

Or do the coffee.

Has he asked for another chance?

j8a
Last edited by j0hn8andy; August 17,2011 at 10:05am.
 
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Heppe is offline Heppe Post #4  August 17,2011, 10:07am
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Move on, there are plenty of guys emailing you right now. But please don't be late in the future, then you won't ever have this problem again and you will know FOR SURE the next guy is lying.
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #5  August 17,2011, 10:10am
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Did you double check afterwards that you both had the time correct to meet?

And did you text him to let him know you were running late? It sounds like you just showed up late and then sat there and then waited until he called 20 minutes later...Did you apologize for being late?

If you were meeting in the parking lot...if both of you were sitting in your cars...it's very possible to miss one another...So I would text or call as soon as I'm there and say.."I'm here."

I would try one more time to meet...but I just make it a habit to let someone know...at least 10 to 15 minutes ahead of the time we are supposed to meet if I happen to be running late..
Last edited by Ingytravel; August 17,2011 at 10:14am.
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #6  August 17,2011, 10:23am
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Yes, he asked for another chance...

This is SDD (single dad dude). He had time to meet before work, I was going to be by his work, and had time to meet after my first appointment... the reason we were meeting was because of interest level, we have been exchanging lots of communications, and wanted to meet in person just to make sure that the there was something there... So, decided to do a quick meet this morning, to test the waters first.

We didn't have each other's phone numbers, as I don't like giving out my phone number before meeting a guy (had a very bad experience with this before). He emailed me his phone number, but I didn't get that until I was already at the location. The parking lot is small... so not sure how we could have missed each other.
 
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dmi is online now dmi Post #7  August 17,2011, 10:29am
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jussmile wrote :
We didn't have each other's phone numbers, as I don't like giving out my phone number before meeting a guy (had a very bad experience with this before).
This is the risk you take when you don't exchange phone numbers. Get a google number or a throw away cell phone with no person contact info.

I'd say given that there was no way to contact each other and he says he was there, may as well take him at his word and try again some other time.
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #8  August 17,2011, 10:33am
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dmi wrote :
This is the risk you take when you don't exchange phone numbers. Get a google number or a throw away cell phone with no person contact info.

I'd say given that there was no way to contact each other and he says he was there, may as well take him at his word and try again some other time.
Well, while I was sitting there, I tried to give him a call... it went to voicemail. That's when he called me back 20 minutes later...

I just don't get why he would say he was there, when it seems to me, that he probably was not. Or, he was incredibly late and didn't want to admit to it... or, he got impatient waiting for me for 7 minutes and left.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  August 17,2011, 10:34am
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I make it a point to be quite early for a first date. I am also quite patient. Therefore for someone being 8 minutes late I would still be sitting there even if that 8 minutes was 2 or 3 times that.

If I knew that my date was coming from some sort of activity and the actual time of arrival may be a bit uncertain then I am going to be even more patient as I have been forewarned.

About your specific situation. I am not sure if this is some new guy or one of your matches you have been trying to set up a first date with for a long time. But if he was there exactly on time and did not wait more than 8 minutes I have to say that he is not exhibiting good character traits. In which case I would say move on. Now if there was a possibility that there was some confusion as to the location, time or anything else about the meeting then you may want to give him a second opportunity.

Now to go off on a tangent ... this whole thing about meeting for a first date trying to fit something quick in between other planned activities is just bull crumble. Meeting for a quick moment in between other activities may be acceptable when you are well into an established relationship but it has no place in the early stages. It merely speaks very loudly that I am not all that important to you.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  August 17,2011, 10:38am
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j0hn8andy wrote :
I would. I would make sure I knew what each other was wearing.
This is a very sound piece of advice. I always tell my match what I will be wearing. Unfortunately most of my matches respond that it is a woman's prerogative to not decide what they will wear until the very last moment. I just say OK fine, you find me.
 
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