Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #11  August 16,2011, 11:40am
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Photochick wrote :
I'm not even sure "dating" is the right word. Just someone to hang out with you know? I feel lonely.
I don't want to get into anything right now, until I get my head straight.
All my girlfriends are married and I don't want to be a bother to them.
Are you divorced yet? If not, 'dating' is not the right word at all. You need to close the door completely before you start opening new ones.
 
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Photochick is offline Photochick Post #12  August 16,2011, 11:49am
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TheThinker wrote :
I'm a member of three meetup.com groups and they're all pretty cool, in their own way...it's not a meat market or anything and everyone is just there to have a good time, and do active stuff.
After we may go out and have a few beers and grab something to eat, but that's the extent of it.
I suppose some use it as a hookup site, but from what I've been told those groups don't last too long, nor the members in those groups.

Sounds like just what I am looking for!
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #13  August 16,2011, 2:58pm
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Photochick wrote :
I knew that would come up. Should have addressed it.
He just up and left me, kind of out of the blue. He had been thinking about it for months and then just sprung it on me.
So it's been a long 2 months. I find myself obsessing and wondering where he is, who is talking to etc..We are not together so that should not matter right?
I mean dinner, movies stuff like that. I need to get my mind off him. he is obviously not thinking about me.
you're not ready so think about the other person ie. the men you are intending to date - it's unfair on them to inflict your rebounding onto them.

instead I suggest you seek new friends through night classes or via the other suggestions here. e.g. cookery classes.

I'd also like to say I'm sorry about your loss.
 
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ChainMan is offline ChainMan Post #14  August 16,2011, 3:49pm
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Photochick wrote :
I'm not even sure "dating" is the right word. Just someone to hang out with you know? I feel lonely.
I don't want to get into anything right now, until I get my head straight.
All my girlfriends are married and I don't want to be a bother to them.
I bet your girlfriends WANT to be there for you. They will support you emotionally in a way that a new guy or group couldn't ever understand. This will also strengthen your friendships. You can still do the meet-up thing, but lean primarily on your friends first.
 
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Sporty_geek is offline Sporty_geek Post #15  August 16,2011, 5:09pm

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I think you shouldn't write off your married friends. Most, if not all, of my friends are married. When I separated they were not only a great support but they were awesome for just hanging out.

That being said, I do get along with all their husbands, and they all seemed to be grateful for my hanging out with their wives so they could go for a run or work in the garage.

The other ideas are good also, but I just feel like you shouldn't give up on all your past relationships. I do understand that some married friends may be judgmental, it's happened to me, and those are not the type you want to keep around.

I'll keep reading the thread, you're not alone.
 
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savman is offline savman Post #16  August 16,2011, 6:07pm
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I hope you find what you want in meetup.

In going out with men alone right now you are likely to either find men looking for real adult relationships, or men looking to "have fun" which mean hook up with no commitment. From what you have said it seems you are looking for neither.

Finding a guy who will wine and dine you and expect neither sex or a commitment will be unlikely and lead to ugly situations for you and them.

I think groups is the way to go until you are ready to actually date again. And it does not sound like you are at all ready to actually date right now.
 
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tangochef is offline tangochef Post #17  August 16,2011, 6:19pm
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You can also check out local dance studios. Dancing is a good way to keep busy, and you learn something new to boot. In a lot of areas the dance community is pretty nice to newcomers.

I'd suggest the Argentine Tango.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #18  August 17,2011, 8:49am
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Photochick wrote :
So I’m new on here. I have been separated from my soon to be ex husband for 2 months.
We were together 11 years. I am TERRIFIED of having to date again. I don’t even know where to start.
I feel like I am going to have some trust issues for a bit because of the way things ended. I'm not looking for anything serious but I want to go out and have fun.
Any tips or advice?
You are not in a position to date yet. First you are still married. AFTER your divorce is final you need to take the time you need to get healthy before beginning dating again. This is done through support from divorce counseling, family and friends. The "experts" say this should be a minimum of a year, my observations is that it usually takes much longer.

For social activities you should be involved with your family and friends and as mentioned there is Meetup.com which can introduce you to all types of groups for all types of activities. These are not dating related but are activity and hobby related and depending on the particular group there will be singles of both genders, married couples and families involved.
 
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