No one is good enough until you are ready to stop looking?


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Diana_P is offline Diana_P Post #81  August 17,2011, 11:55am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I just can't agree with your concept. When I quit looking, I QUIT LOOKING.
When a person is "looking" there is always doubt. There is this notion, idea, or thought somewhere in the back of their mind that there might be something better out there. As long as that seed is in your mind you will never be satisfied with whatever you presently have.

A person can give up looking temporarily, but it is not a decision that you can consciously make any more than you can decide that you don't like sex anymore. When you are ready to stop looking you know it, but you don't actually "decide" it - - it just happens.

Being ready to stop looking doesn't mean that you give up on romance; being ready to stop looking means that you are ready to give up the chase. These are two completely different things.

When my exhusband and I were looking for a house we were very excited. We probably looked at over 100 houses. It was really fun at first! But finding a house isn't a game. At some point you must choose one and make it your home.
 
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tangochef is offline tangochef Post #82  August 17,2011, 2:20pm
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Diana_P wrote :
When a person is "looking" there is always doubt. There is this notion, idea, or thought somewhere in the back of their mind that there might be something better out there. As long as that seed is in your mind you will never be satisfied with whatever you presently have.
...
OK, I finally see the disconnect in semantics. Based on the above you are saying to stop looking once you have found someone and concentrate on that.

Most people here that are not at the stage of having found someone already (myself included) were really confused. Like, If I stop looking, will a person magically appear?

The question then becomes when does one stop looking and concentrate on that person they have found? Once they are exclusive? But, that by definition is to stop looking. First date, second date, tenth date?

The execution of the concept is puzzling now.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #83  August 17,2011, 4:25pm
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I think she is using the term 'looking' when a better term to use would be 'searching'? ie. when you have found someone you should stop searching for a bigger better deal? is that the point she is trying to make?
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #84  August 17,2011, 4:51pm
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SteveManchesterEngland wrote :
I think she is using the term 'looking' when a better term to use would be 'searching'? ie. when you have found someone you should stop searching for a bigger better deal? is that the point she is trying to make?
Looking... searching... It really doesn't matter the word that you use.

DianaP - is your post more a general one, or do you have a particular concern in your own life? You don't have to answer that, but it might help to give some perspective.

This all reminds me of that Stephen Stills song, "Love The One You're With". If you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with.
 
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Diana_P is offline Diana_P Post #85  August 17,2011, 5:13pm
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mitchell175 wrote :
Looking... searching... It really doesn't matter the word that you use.

DianaP - is your post more a general one, or do you have a particular concern in your own life? You don't have to answer that, but it might help to give some perspective.

This all reminds me of that Stephen Stills song, "Love The One You're With". If you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with.
Mitchell, this was just another Diana_P revelation I wanted to share, but thanks for asking.

I like the example of the song Love the One You’re With, it makes a lot of sense.
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #86  August 17,2011, 5:19pm
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Diana_P wrote :
Mitchell, this was just another Diana_P revelation I wanted to share, but thanks for asking.

I like the example of the song Love the One You’re With, it makes a lot of sense.
Actually, I'm pretty sure that song is about settling. Or possibly cheating.

If you’re down and confused, and you don’t remember who you’re talkin’ to. Concentration slip away, ‘cause your baby is so far away.

Well there’s a rose in the fisted glove and the eagle flies with the dove, and if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with.

Don’t be angry, don’t be sad, and don’t sit cryin’ over good times you’ve had. There’s a girl right next to you, and she’s just waitin’ for something to do.

And there’s a rose in the fisted glove and the eagle flies with the dove, and if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with.

Dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit, dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit, dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit, dit dit dit, dit dit dit.

Turn your heartache right into joy, she’s a girl, and you’re a boy. Well get it together, make it real nice,
You ain’t gonna need anymore advice.

And there’s a rose in the fisted glove and the eagle flies with the dove, and if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with.

Dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit, dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit, dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit, dit dit dit, dit dit dit.
 
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