Is a seven-year age difference really that bad?


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scully98 is offline scully98 Post #1  August 10,2011, 8:30am
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Just curious about this - an old friend - male, age 57, heard that I went out with a guy who is 36 years old. I am 43.

For some reason, this old friend (who I dated a lifetime ago in my 20's) felt obligated to tell me that he was quite concerned that I was going out with someone age 36. His exact words?


"He is 36, eh? Ok, you aren't going to like this, but let me just tell you now: This "relationship" isn't going anywhere. The reason is so obvious that I'm not going to bother wasting keystrokes on it."

Do you think this blanket statement is correct in general? I'm not concerned about this particular 36-yr-old - we've only been out twice and I am still trying to figure out where it could be going. But I'm rather shocked that my older friend said something so negative about a woman dating a man seven years younger. Especially given that he tends to date older women himself. Well, at least, he did in his 30's and 40's.


 
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niqht is offline niqht Post #2  August 10,2011, 8:33am
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That is completely baseless and downright retarded.
7 years is not a big difference.
I'm positive he would think different if you were 7 years younger.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #3  August 10,2011, 8:40am
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scully98 wrote :
Just curious about this - an old friend - male, age 57, heard that I went out with a guy who is 36 years old. I am 43.

For some reason, this old friend (who I dated a lifetime ago in my 20's) felt obligated to tell me that he was quite concerned that I was going out with someone age 36. His exact words?


"He is 36, eh? Ok, you aren't going to like this, but let me just tell you now: This "relationship" isn't going anywhere. The reason is so obvious that I'm not going to bother wasting keystrokes on it."

Do you think this blanket statement is correct in general? I'm not concerned about this particular 36-yr-old - we've only been out twice and I am still trying to figure out where it could be going. But I'm rather shocked that my older friend said something so negative about a woman dating a man seven years younger. Especially given that he tends to date older women himself. Well, at least, he did in his 30's and 40's.


just throwing this out there, but hes probably miffed because hes older and youre going out with someone younger.

personally, any guy under saaay 42 wouldnt be of interest to me, but thats 7 years younger than me... thats about as far as i would go either way up or down. i'd be much more hard pressed to go up 7 years than down. younger than early 40s guys do nothing for me whatsoever.

so, no, its not bad at all imo
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #4  August 10,2011, 8:40am
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scully98 wrote :
Just curious about this - an old friend - male, age 57, heard that I went out with a guy who is 36 years old. I am 43.

For some reason, this old friend (who I dated a lifetime ago in my 20's) felt obligated to tell me that he was quite concerned that I was going out with someone age 36. His exact words?


"He is 36, eh? Ok, you aren't going to like this, but let me just tell you now: This "relationship" isn't going anywhere. The reason is so obvious that I'm not going to bother wasting keystrokes on it."

Do you think this blanket statement is correct in general? I'm not concerned about this particular 36-yr-old - we've only been out twice and I am still trying to figure out where it could be going. But I'm rather shocked that my older friend said something so negative about a woman dating a man seven years younger. Especially given that he tends to date older women himself. Well, at least, he did in his 30's and 40's.

So...let me get this straight...A man who is 14 years OLDER than you...whom you dated when you were in your 20's...is giving you a hard time because this other guy is only 7 years difference in age?

Now that is funny!!
 
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NBdater is offline NBdater Post #5  August 10,2011, 8:41am
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Have fun, enjoy yourself. Date whomever you like. It is your own business. As far as marriage goes, that is another matter entirely. At age 25 I naively married a woman 6-1/2 years my senior. It was not a good choice for many reasons and I deeply regret that foolish choice on my part.
 
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NBdater is offline NBdater Post #6  August 10,2011, 8:41am
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double
Last edited by NBdater; August 10,2011 at 8:46am.
 
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NYCpigeon is offline NYCpigeon Post #7  August 10,2011, 8:44am
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I consider 5-7 years the outer range of age-appropriate. So there's no need for any explanations here.

Also, you chose to go on a date with him in spite of his age, not because of his age.

A good barometer, IMO, when one seeks to determine the correctness of dating a certain age person is to ask the question: Would he/she be dating me if I was his/her same age? If the answer is no, then you know where his/her priorities are.
 
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scully98 is offline scully98 Post #8  August 10,2011, 8:44am
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yeah, Ingy, I found it funny, too!

nanette, yup, I think he would look at it differently, too, if it was a woman seven yrs younger than him.

night, LOVE your response. you're funny!

***

this particular guy is a little peeved at me right now, I believe, because he mentioned that a girlfriend of mine is quite pretty and I said I could introduce him to her, since there is absolutely nothing romantic going on between us anymore. he said that reading that I saw nothing romantic between us really gave him a brief pain. but he couldn't have been too hurt because he took me up on my offer and is now chatting happily on facebook with my girlfriend. lol!

but yeah, I pointed out to him that the longest relationship of his life was with an older woman. He was 33 when he met her and she was 38. He said, "she was only 4-1/2 years older than me!"

so apparently 33 and 38 is okay, but 36 and 43 is not.

he's just dealing with sour grapes, I believe. thanks for helping me figure that out so fast!
Last edited by scully98; August 10,2011 at 8:46am.
 
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tangochef is offline tangochef Post #9  August 10,2011, 8:45am
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He is old fashioned and probably thinks only the guys should date the young ones.

A friend of mine just turned 40. She met her BF when he was a junior in college 4 years ago. They are pretty happy.

My sister is over 50. Her BF of 3 years is 29 or so I think.

Both of these guys are hunks that also make pretty good money. They just like hot, older, and accomplished women.

So, go for it.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #10  August 10,2011, 8:56am
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Don't worry about him.

You are at the age..where you are letting your inner cougar-isms...come out...

This had to happen sooner or later...


Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrowwwl...
Don't fight it...give in...to your desires...
 
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