SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #91  August 17,2011, 8:31am
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kreg85 wrote :
....I appreciate the advice - wasn't telling her that I couldn't handle not seeing her for 5 weeks - because I can - was telling her that this early in a relationship or whatever one calls this - that 5 weeks is a long time ie. Haven't built the bond/glue or whatever to make 5 weeks worth the wait - its not like we were going out for months - in my view its like going out with someone a few times (like we have) and then dropping off face of earth for a month and then trying to rekindle things. Impossible - no - highly unlikely - in my opinion yes. Guess I am just trying to get opinions before I do something "rash" - I am strongly leaning to the "see you later" - not calling option. Always easier to see the clear picture from the outside vs the inside... I'm too old to be playing these silly games...
You have to look at this and ask yourself what kind of future is there with a woman like this.

In my time meeting people from dating sites I've met 10s if not 100s like this. They are a serious drag on your dating time. To waste this amount of time and effort on 1 girl...... when I can predict it is likely to happen to you again with 10 more women until you meet .someone you click with..... I hope you have a lot of time to waste! All that time you're wasting on game players is time lost with someone genuine.


There is zero chance of a relationship with this girl.

How many more posts from various people do you need to tell you this?
 
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kreg85 is offline kreg85 Post #92  August 17,2011, 8:57am
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SteveManchesterEngland wrote :
You have to look at this and ask yourself what kind of future is there with a woman like this.

In my time meeting people from dating sites I've met 10s if not 100s like this. They are a serious drag on your dating time. To waste this amount of time and effort on 1 girl...... when I can predict it is likely to happen to you again with 10 more women until you meet .someone you click with..... I hope you have a lot of time to waste! All that time you're wasting on game players is time lost with someone genuine.


There is zero chance of a relationship with this girl.

How many more posts from various people do you need to tell you this?


Got it - done deal - deleted # -thanks for the bluntness
 
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Special-K is online now Special-K Post #93  August 17,2011, 9:32am
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I'm going to be an outlier and provide perhaps another perspective.

I'm not discounting that she is attempting to back-burner you; however, we are only hearing your side of things.

It does seem (at least to me) that there is a lot of one-upping and game playing going on in this "relationship." Both trying to see the other's hand w/o showing his/her own.

I would be more interested in knowing why she can't meet you in the evenings, when you have child care. You offered up why you can't meet during the day. Does she work evenings? Is she going out of town? Does she have children and no evening child care?

The whole thing seems like one giant game you're both trying to "win."

I think the whole thing could have been resolved by you *telling* her what you are looking for in a relationship (i.e., exclusivity/long-term). If she had said that she's not, you absolutely have your answer and walk away *knowing* that you're not on the same page.

My $.02, FWIW
Last edited by Special-K; August 17,2011 at 9:34am.
 
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kreg85 is offline kreg85 Post #94  August 17,2011, 9:54am
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Special-K wrote :
I'm going to be an outlier and provide perhaps another perspective.

I'm not discounting that she is attempting to back-burner you; however, we are only hearing your side of things.

It does seem (at least to me) that there is a lot of one-upping and game playing going on in this "relationship." Both trying to see the other's hand w/o showing his/her own.

I would be more interested in knowing why she can't meet you in the evenings, when you have child care. You offered up why you can't meet during the day. Does she work evenings? Is she going out of town? Does she have children and no evening child care?

The whole thing seems like one giant game you're both trying to "win."

I think the whole thing could have been resolved by you *telling* her what you are looking for in a relationship (i.e., exclusivity/long-term). If she had said that she's not, you absolutely have your answer and walk away *knowing* that you're not on the same page.

My $.02, FWIW

she works during the day - regular M-F day job - has 2 kids 15 and 17... don't really think she has a daycare issue... She know's my "hand" - I'm a very open person and she knows what I'm looking for... we talked about it over the phone when we met. Never got clear answer from her - even tho we talked about it in beginning. We went out a few times and maybe I'm ouuta line for this but she never even offered to pick up tab or buy a drink. It was always on me. As a footnote - I would NEVER expect a gal to pick up tab - but its nice when they at least offer to buy a drink or something... does that make sense? I get the feeling that she is looking for a free lunch out of the office... Pulled the handles on this one and not looking back.
 
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Special-K is online now Special-K Post #95  August 17,2011, 11:02am
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kreg85 wrote :
she works during the day - regular M-F day job - has 2 kids 15 and 17... don't really think she has a daycare issue... She know's my "hand" - I'm a very open person and she knows what I'm looking for... we talked about it over the phone when we met. Never got clear answer from her - even tho we talked about it in beginning. We went out a few times and maybe I'm ouuta line for this but she never even offered to pick up tab or buy a drink. It was always on me. As a footnote - I would NEVER expect a gal to pick up tab - but its nice when they at least offer to buy a drink or something... does that make sense? I get the feeling that she is looking for a free lunch out of the office... Pulled the handles on this one and not looking back.
Thanks for the explanation... that does explain a lot. I rescind my former post and going w/ the majority of this one... she's a flake. Sorry it happened to you.

You're not out of line on the tab issue. I am of the camp that a guy pays for the first date or two (not trying to derail this thread... so those of you who don't agree can cool it right there), but I always offer AND if the date is getting too expensive, will insist on paying something (a round of drinks, dessert, tip... something!) And will always treat thereafter.

Anyway, hope you have better luck the next time around.
 
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