Sparkles56 is offline Sparkles56 Post #1  July 31,2011, 7:24am
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I am creating a new thread based on this one:

http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...ml#post1396640 (matches' occupations)

sony12 wrote :
Sparkles56 wrote :
I most recently went on a few dates with a Priest! An Episcopal Priest, that is. If you met this woman in a bar, Priest would be the last thing you'd think she did - from the way she talked and the thoughts she had. How many people can say they kissed a Priest?
Yep, my brother is pretty devout and several of his friends are now currently priests. They really are just regular people for the most part. Since catholic priests can't get married it doesn't matter. But for non-catholic religious figures who can I think they would be difficult people to be in a relationship with though.
What makes you say that? I think it really depends on the particular religion and specifically, the person. For example, I believe that a conservative religious person or evangelical would not get along with my Priest friend. She is very liberal, a big picture thinker who holds internally consistent ideas about how things work with God. As a guy who broke from Catholicism in his 20's (and identifies as agnostic, spiritual but non-religious) I got along with her great!

Would I get along with an evangelical minister as a date? Probably not! Just as an evangelical minister would not get along with my Priest friend.

Has anyone else had experience dating a member of the clergy?
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #2  July 31,2011, 7:43am
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Sparkles56 wrote :
I am creating a new thread based on this one:

http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...ml#post1396640 (matches' occupations)



What makes you say that? I think it really depends on the particular religion and specifically, the person. For example, I believe that a conservative religious person or evangelical would not get along with my Priest friend. She is very liberal, a big picture thinker who holds internally consistent ideas about how things work with God. As a guy who broke from Catholicism in his 20's (and identifies as agnostic, spiritual but non-religious) I got along with her great!

Would I get along with an evangelical minister as a date? Probably not! Just as an evangelical minister would not get along with my Priest friend.

Has anyone else had experience dating a member of the clergy?
Well for starters they are already in a practical relationship with the church they are pastor for. So that right there would be a hurdle in terms of the time constraints and level of expectations it would cause.

Secondly they would always have to be a positive role model. So if you are someone who enjoys a good dose of risque/sexual behavior they would probably not be compatible with you sexually ( think what of what their congregation would be thinking if they thought that she was putting off her services for the church because/ putting to much emphasis on banging her partner so many times a week (and remember for non-catholic ministers they are hired by the congregation they belong to)).

Thirdly many of them will have deep seeded religious beliefs themselves and though they may be able to put those beliefs at bay for awhile they would start showing up eventually and unless your beliefs were compatible with theirs they would soon start causing some issues.

There are more but those are just a few.
Last edited by sony12; July 31,2011 at 7:47am.
 
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Ephemera is offline Ephemera Post #3  July 31,2011, 7:44am
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For a few years quite some time ago I thought that I had found jesus, but it turns out I was just lusting after the hot young minister. And yes, I'd have 'dated' him in a heartbeat.
Last edited by Ephemera; July 31,2011 at 7:44am. Reason: probably not quite what you mean though, right?
 
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gregs4fun is offline gregs4fun Post #4  July 31,2011, 7:45am
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So a priest, a nun and an agnostic walk into this bar and.....
 
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jag216 is offline jag216 Post #5  July 31,2011, 8:03am
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The simplest answer is that when you date a member of the clergy, you are in the same boat as dating police or firefighters - minus the threat to life although I can also say you never know - you'd be surprised how secure churches have to be.

If they belong to a church that is short on clergy or does frequent reassignments, you can throw military families in there for comparison. It is hard for a spouse to share with an entire community but that becomes a really big deal. In some cases the spouse tries to get heavily involved in the church also but then both heads of household are burned out.

Heaven help you if you have kids - it is really hard for them to get enough attention from their parents and they either act out 'priest's kid/military rat' syndrome, or they really overachieve to make a name for themselves.

Plus being a pastor is a position of celebrity - your privacy (whether you like kinky bedroom antics or not) goes out the window.

You need a sober yet optimistic view of life and a thick skin to be able to pull off the job - or to date someone in that position. And still, the horror stories from seminary from couples who could not hack it in that environment... yikes. Irrational pressures can crack the sanest person.
 
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boomer_gal is offline boomer_gal Post #6  July 31,2011, 8:55am
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Although I have never dated clergy, I would be willing to do so, with someone who is of a like mind theologically. Like Sparkles, I don't think an Evangelical & I would get along very well. But someone from a more liberal denomination, yes, I would be willing to date. I do agree with one thing sony said & that is that there would be time constraints. I think most clergy work very long & inconsistent hours. They are like physicians in that they are always on call, but w/o the big bucks. I don't think that a clergy person would necessarily be sexually repressed, but they would need to exercise discretion, which I have no problem with.
 
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HelenDanger is offline HelenDanger Post #7  July 31,2011, 8:59am
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gregs4fun wrote :
So a priest, a nun and an agnostic walk into this bar and.....
...went speed dating.
 
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theprincessbride is offline theprincessbride Post #8  July 31,2011, 9:02am
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gregs4fun wrote :
So a priest, a nun and an agnostic walk into this bar and.....
Please go on!
 
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Alli824 is online now Alli824 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #9  July 31,2011, 9:10am
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Uh yes, had someone on Match contact me and then initiate some pretty racy exchanges. He never once mentioned he was a chaplain (of a well known outfit by the way.) I happened to return a call to his cell phone and he identified himself as such. Given his rather uh..suggestive overtures (which by the way I quickly put an end to) color me surprised. He still tries to get me to go out with him. Can't stereotype anyone these days.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #10  July 31,2011, 10:24am
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gregs4fun wrote :
So a priest, a nun and an agnostic walk into this bar and.....
the bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
 
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