tangochef is offline tangochef Post #31  August 10,2011, 12:07am
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purple123 wrote :
As a female minister I find this to be a load of crap. ...

Personally I am very liberal and see no issue with sex before marriage and have an active sex life when I am in a committed relationship...

You should keep a more open mind to dating clergy, because we are just like everyone else.
How do you reconcile pre-marital sex with religious teachings, let alone being a female minister?

Isn't it being hypocritical?

Unless, of course your ministry is Druidic.
 
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purple123 is offline purple123 Post #32  August 10,2011, 10:35am
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tangochef wrote :
How do you reconcile pre-marital sex with religious teachings, let alone being a female minister?

Isn't it being hypocritical?

Unless, of course your ministry is Druidic.
First of all my gender has nothing to do with my ability to be a minister and there are numerous accounts throughout the new testament of women being in leadership positions of churches. And as far as pre-marital sex goes I see nothing wrong with it; because if you want to get technical about it nobody (married or not) should have sex or even be in any sort of relationship as it takes away from your relationship with God, according to Paul. The main issue around sex in the bible has to do with lust, meaning that you are only acting on your sexual desire for the short term. But when you are in a committed relationship, whether that's marriage or a serious relationship, it is a means of connecting with your partner on a different level and about furthering your relationship. I'm not saying you should go sleep around with a bunch of people, but there's nothing wrong with expressing yourself sexually. In addition lineage was a major concern in the biblical world so pre-marital sex threatened that which was a reason it was frowned upon. Also keep in mind too that women were property during biblical times and nobody wants used property if they are paying top dollar(so to speak) for it,therefore pre-marital sex was frowned upon. Its amazing what you learn when you look at the context of the situation. And its not being hypocritical at all, people who engage in premarital sex and say its ok but get pissed when their minister does the same thing are hypocritical. I am not being hypocritical because I do not teach that pre-martial sex is wrong. And I am apart of a mainstream protestant denomination.
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #33  August 10,2011, 5:14pm
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tangochef wrote :
How do you reconcile pre-marital sex with religious teachings, let alone being a female minister?

Isn't it being hypocritical?

Unless, of course your ministry is Druidic.
Unfortunately it has gotten to the point to where there are so many separate little sects of Christianity that being considered a religious figure doesn't really mean a whole lot in many instances (and it definitely does not make you a holy person).

As soon as people find something within one particular church organization they don't like they just run off and start a new one and create their own certain belief systems for that new church. Therefore they can act however the hey they want to act and still claim to be a religious figure.

Think of many of those separate Christian sects like this. Say for instance some of those bad apple Catholic priests that there have been throughout history decided to just go and start a church of their own. They could form their particular church around the beliefs they wanted to follow and would just leave out the ones they didn't want to follow. So they could still consider themselves a religious figure even though all they were really doing was just forming a new church that correlated with their own personal belief system.
Last edited by sony12; August 10,2011 at 5:37pm.
 
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RDSJtheophilia is offline RDSJtheophilia Post #34  August 31,2011, 12:28pm
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Hey there Sparkles asked me to reply to your questions...which is very interesting because, I got on here to delete my profile.
I say this with the utmost respect, but I think honesty is the best policy - from the very beginning.
I have struggled with the idea through every nook and cranny of the dating/relationship/marriage scenario over the last few years as I have tried to date after divorce from a 6.5 yr marriage from someone I met in seminary.
There are times I would describe the pastorate as a "perfect prison," based on the circumstances surrounding ministry. (In my situation it is a little harder as I am an itinerant pastor (we get moved every few years) and that doesn't gel with a lot of men. (They would have to move, etc.)
I also think that even when your partner has a VERY accurate idea of what life being married to a minister (male or female) that it's tough, so NOT discussing that is very detrimental to the relationship.
I can really relate to the possible recognition thing. Our youth pastor happened to be at the same restaurant I was at with a date recently and when asked by her friend why I was a little standoffish she told her friend..."it's like basically you just walked in on them having sex." Relationships are pretty private for me. I have struggled A LOT over the smallest things in them. What is appropriate? What is not appropriate? How much do you trust that person with what you say, etc? ANYTHING is fair game for a church member to take to a board these days no matter how far removed from the locale of a building. You have to remember that a minister's integrity is part of the "skill set" involved in this line of work. If there is not integrity, there is no trust and with no trust, well you truly cannot minister to the people.
I hope this helps.
SJ

wvurun wrote :
Hopefully, this will be a great place for advice. I am a clergywoman, and I'm not sure how or when to tell people. I'm fairly new on here, and so I put my occupation as "other". I don't want to put my occupation both because of stereotypes but mostly because of possible recognition. Should I change this? Also, when do I tell people? Right now, I tend to go with the "don't ask, don't tell" policy, and only tell when directly asked. I've only had one person close me out because of it (too bad, he was gorgeous!) I am one of those more liberal clergy. Any advice?
 
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RDSJtheophilia is offline RDSJtheophilia Post #35  August 31,2011, 12:29pm
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Hey there Sparkles asked me to reply to your questions...which is very interesting because, I got on here to delete my profile.
I say this with the utmost respect, but I think honesty is the best policy - from the very beginning.
I have struggled with the idea through every nook and cranny of the dating/relationship/marriage scenario over the last few years as I have tried to date after divorce from a 6.5 yr marriage from someone I met in seminary.
There are times I would describe the pastorate as a "perfect prison," based on the circumstances surrounding ministry. (In my situation it is a little harder as I am an itinerant pastor (we get moved every few years) and that doesn't gel with a lot of men. (They would have to move, etc.)
I also think that even when your partner has a VERY accurate idea of what life being married to a minister (male or female) that it's tough, so NOT discussing that is very detrimental to the relationship.
I can really relate to the possible recognition thing. Our youth pastor happened to be at the same restaurant I was at with a date recently and when asked by her friend why I was a little standoffish she told her friend..."it's like basically you just walked in on them having sex." Relationships are pretty private for me. I have struggled A LOT over the smallest things in them. What is appropriate? What is not appropriate? How much do you trust that person with what you say, etc? ANYTHING is fair game for a church member to take to a board these days no matter how far removed from the locale of a building. You have to remember that a minister's integrity is part of the "skill set" involved in this line of work. If there is not integrity, there is no trust and with no trust, well you truly cannot minister to the people.
I hope this helps.
SJ

wvurun wrote :
Hopefully, this will be a great place for advice. I am a clergywoman, and I'm not sure how or when to tell people. I'm fairly new on here, and so I put my occupation as "other". I don't want to put my occupation both because of stereotypes but mostly because of possible recognition. Should I change this? Also, when do I tell people? Right now, I tend to go with the "don't ask, don't tell" policy, and only tell when directly asked. I've only had one person close me out because of it (too bad, he was gorgeous!) I am one of those more liberal clergy. Any advice?
 
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