Has anyone read Attached by Amir Levine?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
LizLemon7 is offline LizLemon7 Post #1  July 28,2011, 11:22am
LizLemon7's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2011

Colorado

Posts: 12

See profile

It describes avoidant, secure & anxious attachment patterns. I found it very enlightening & helpful.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  July 28,2011, 11:56am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

Never heard of it. Can't say that I really can understand your description of the subject matter.
 
  Reply With Quote
lunabeach is offline lunabeach Post #3  July 28,2011, 12:38pm
lunabeach's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Jun 2010

Ohio

Posts: 2,167

See profile

Yes, Liz, I have. I found a few of the examples hit too close to home; I began the online dating thing last year and was in two short relationships with avoidant men. Uggghhhh. I didn't even know I was somewhat anxious b/c I'd never dated an extreme avoidant before. Now that I know there are more avoidants spinning through the dating pool and how to spot them, my filtering has gotten better. I've recommended Attached to a number of people on here and IRL who have found it helpful in approaching dating again or dating online.

Gr8: Excerpt | Attached the Book

It's about attachment theory: how we attach, the difference in attachment styles, how to spot compatible/incompatible styles, and how to make a relationship work if you are incompatible in this area.
 
  Reply With Quote
boschimsp is offline boschimsp — Advice Member-Moderator Post #4  July 28,2011, 12:56pm
boschimsp's Avatar

Starting to acknowledge that my single life is actually fantastic.

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Sep 2010

Posts: 2,116

See profile

I really enjoyed it and at least from the people I have talked to in the psychiatry community the science behind it has a good reputation and seems to be accurately reflected in the book.

For me, it definitely made a lot of sense and illuminated a lot of things for me. I'm definitely of the anxious attachment style and it became clear to me why I could have relationships with some people that would be free of anxiety, healthy, and enjoyable and others that made me so insecure that I felt constantly miserable.

I highly recommend it.
 
  Reply With Quote
LizLemon7 is offline LizLemon7 Post #5  July 28,2011, 1:53pm
LizLemon7's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2011

Colorado

Posts: 12

See profile

lunabeach wrote :
Yes, Liz, I have. I found a few of the examples hit too close to home; I began the online dating thing last year and was in two short relationships with avoidant men. Uggghhhh. I didn't even know I was somewhat anxious b/c I'd never dated an extreme avoidant before. Now that I know there are more avoidants spinning through the dating pool and how to spot them, my filtering has gotten better. I've recommended Attached to a number of people on here and IRL who have found it helpful in approaching dating again or dating online.

Gr8: Excerpt | Attached the Book

It's about attachment theory: how we attach, the difference in attachment styles, how to spot compatible/incompatible styles, and how to make a relationship work if you are incompatible in this area.
It's good to hear that the book has helped you recognize those smoking guns of avoidant behaviors. I'm a little anxious too & some of those examples could have been written by me. I wonder if a lot of the "poofers" (sorry, I know people don't like that word) are avoidants?
 
  Reply With Quote
mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #6  July 28,2011, 5:02pm
mitchell175's Avatar

mixing metaphors in a mellifluous melange of malapropisms

Power Poster

Joined: Oct 2010

Boston, MA... or thereabouts

Posts: 6,392

See profile

Fantastic, hugely eye-opening book! I've even recommended it to a few folks myself. (And, thanks, LunaBeach for the recommendation in the first place!)

As an "anxious-attacher" I found the book to be completely accurate - and also uncomfortably accurate. The book outlines how anxious attachers tend to naturally gravitate toward avoidant types, and the relationship usually implodes because these are the worst 2 types to combine in a dating relationship.

I cannot recommend this book enough, especially to anxious or avoidant types.
 
  Reply With Quote
myusernamehere is online now myusernamehere Post #7  July 28,2011, 5:21pm
myusernameher…'s Avatar

is awesome

Veteran

Joined: May 2010

Posts: 1,402

See profile

Awesome book.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« education level differences: can it work? | Dating | here's a new one. to me, at least. he wants to date after his breakup. »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Anyone read "Act like a lady....Think like a man" If so what's your opinion? Levigirl Dating 9 November 12,2009 7:26am
do all men read the mars venus books? nishatika Dating 30 September 25,2009 8:20pm
Closing Matches: What do people prefer to read? jumpingforjoy Using eHarmony 12 August 30,2009 7:54pm
The last book you read... bclfgrd2 Using eHarmony 12 August 11,2009 12:11am
Act like a lady --- Think like a man.... Has anyone else read the book? Any opinions Levigirl 40 plus singles 8 July 6,2009 6:52am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ ^This is the better plan.. My experience has been that love usually comes along when you least expect it, and when your heart is open enough to let it in. If you try to put a set time table on when ... ” –  TheThinker

Join the “Transition from dating to relationship” discussion

“ As Ingy mentions ...he's good with the lines and multitasking relationships.. All anyone can say is: don't get played again...especially by the same guy twice... Move on to someone who is decisive ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“This varies based on your age, gender, location, settings, and 29 dimensions. My settings are fairly narrow and I've always gotten a steady stream of matches. But, my location seems to have a lot ... ” –  dmi

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“I'm extremely allergic to cats, plus I just don't like 'em. So I won't date someone with cats. Dogs, I love. But I'm attracted to certain types of dogs. A guy with a little yorkie turns me off. ... ” –  ZisaGirl

Join the “What about a "PET BOX" ?? again this sounds simple or??” discussion

“If you get the opportunity, yes.” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“...and since you're Shaun Cassidy fan mitchell...this song is just for you! "Da Doo Ron Ron" I met her on a Monday And my heart stood still Da doo ron ron ron Da doo ron ron Somebody told me That ... ” –  legend29

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 8:12am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0