Changing date venue at last minute


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uglymug70 is offline uglymug70 Post #1  July 28,2011, 8:16am
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I am meeting someone for dinner tonight at a really nice restaurant. It is our 2nd date. She lives 50 miles from me and has a stressful job with long inconsistent hours, so I am trying to be accommodating to her schedule; she's a physician resident.

As it turns out, when I proposed the date, I was under the impression we'd be meeting later because I know they do have live music at this establishment and it was recommended by a friend. She's got to be at work very early the next morning (5am!) and so I think this is not the ideal time for this type of restaurant. I checked the restaurant website; the live music starts after we leave. We'd probably be the first people at the restaurant.

I am considering proposing another place and would like to know everyone's opinion about changing the venue at the last minute.

Would this be a turn off to her? Or not?

I'd still choose a nice place, but something more laid back given our schedules. (I have a business trip tomorrow.)
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #2  July 28,2011, 8:26am
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::shrug:: I've changed date venues a couple times at the last minute and it was no big deal. But I picked another place in the same general vicinity and suggested it when they showed up so there was no need to re-confirm or complicate the arrangements.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #3  July 28,2011, 8:31am
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I don't see a problem. If you explain that the original location is inappropriate for an early dinner, I'm sure she'll understand.
 
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flgal is offline flgal Post #4  July 28,2011, 8:45am
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uglymug70 wrote :
Would this be a turn off to her? Or not?
I can't imagine why it would be. It wouldn't be a turn off for me. Perhaps you can explain your reasoning for wanting to change venues, throw an idea for another venue out there and decide together.

I actually admire you for being mindful of her schedule.
 
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uglymug70 is offline uglymug70 Post #5  July 28,2011, 9:02am
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Ok. It seems like this isn't a big deal.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #6  July 28,2011, 9:18am
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inform her of the issues about this restaurant and details of the better alternative then ask if she would like you to change the venue.
 
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steele_launz is offline steele_launz Post #7  July 28,2011, 9:30am
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Buddy, as long as you are on your top game, it doesn't matter where you take her or what the backdrop is. You could be eating a fine italian meal in the middle of the ring at a rodeo bullfight for all she cares. She is going out with you to watch and observe YOU, not everything else going around your table.
Last edited by steele_launz; July 28,2011 at 10:06am.
 
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boschimsp is offline boschimsp — Advice Member-Moderator Post #8  July 28,2011, 9:48am
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As long as you don't pick a place that is going to be vastly inconvenient compared to the original choice, I don't think it is going to be a big deal. You could also always lay out what you told us and let her be the one to pick. I always enjoy when my date gives me a choice vs. just telling me where we are going.

That said, I think it could absolutely be a blessing in disguise that you missed the live music. Even though I love seeing live music, I don't find it conducive to a date at all. It can be way too loud to talk and actually get to know each other.
 
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HelenDanger is offline HelenDanger Post #9  July 28,2011, 9:52am
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shapeShifter79 wrote :
::shrug:: I've changed date venues a couple times at the last minute and it was no big deal. But I picked another place in the same general vicinity and suggested it when they showed up so there was no need to re-confirm or complicate the arrangements.
I like shapeShifter's idea. Have a backup plan for another place nearby.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  July 28,2011, 10:38am
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I see no need to change the location nor do I see it as a problem.

I do have a question, is the restaurant close to her? I understand the schedule of a medical resident. Having her drive two hours (an hour each way) with her schedule would be a turn off if I was in her position.
 
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