melvimbe is offline melvimbe Post #1  July 27,2011, 6:45pm
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Just curious on some opinions...

I starting email back and forth with a potential date. She emailed me first, which was refreshing. Kind of annoying though because she basically didn't ask question, just 'tell me more'. So I did...wrote a few paragraphs. Got a line or two back, and few back and forth's later, I asked her number. That ended the conversation.

Then around noon today, she emailed back with her number. Kinda surprised, I figure she was done for whatever reason. So texted her about 30 minutes before on call to see if it was cool to call. She said yes. I called, no answer. Left a message.

So I guess my question is...should I just leave it to her to call back and be done? Or should I call back in a day or so if she doesn't. I get the feeling she's the type that likes and is used to being pursued. I'm not much into that, but it's not really much effort on my part.
 
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tweet37 is online now tweet37 Post #2  July 27,2011, 6:49pm
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melvimbe wrote :
So I guess my question is...should I just leave it to her to call back and be done?
Yep. Maybe a quick text tomorrow to have her call you when she's free but that's it.
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #3  July 27,2011, 6:52pm
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why do guys feel the need to talk on the phone so soon before meeting? I just personally don't get it. I've had the same situation, guys giving me their number, asking for mine, saying let's talk...

... let's meet, then they'll be plenty of time to determine if we want to spend time talking on the phone.
 
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upstategirl is offline upstategirl Post #4  July 27,2011, 6:57pm
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You called and left a message.....leave it alone and let her respond.
 
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melvimbe is offline melvimbe Post #5  July 27,2011, 7:03pm
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She surprised me again and called me back.

jussmile, I generally ask for a number a couple days later after a few good emails. In this case, her short responses made me think she really wasn't into email. Therefore, I figured it was time to poop or get off the pot.
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #6  July 27,2011, 7:09pm
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jussmile wrote :
why do guys feel the need to talk on the phone so soon before meeting? I just personally don't get it. I've had the same situation, guys giving me their number, asking for mine, saying let's talk...

... let's meet, then they'll be plenty of time to determine if we want to spend time talking on the phone.
Because if you talk over the phone first you can weed out all the dorks, dweebs, and nerds without actually having to sit through a date with them.

How often do you hear people on hear talking about bad dates they have been on. Many of those bad dates could of been avoided if they had chosen to speak on the phone and they would of been able to realize how incompatible they were then. I still say one of the main reasons why people don't want to talk on the phone before meeting is because they don't want to be the ones who get weeded out.

Back to the original topic just call once and leave a message and wait for them to call back. No need to keep on bugging them when you havn't even talked to them once yet. If they don't call back forget about them (most of the time though if they don't have any desire to talk to you over the phone they won't give you their number to start with so as long as you don't sound like a dork, dweeb, or nerd while leaving the message they will often respond).
Last edited by sony12; July 27,2011 at 7:13pm.
 
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upstategirl is offline upstategirl Post #7  July 27,2011, 7:16pm
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sony12 wrote :
Because if you talk over the phone first you can weed out all the dorks, dweebs, and nerds without actually having to sit through a date with them.

 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #8  July 27,2011, 7:26pm
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sony12 wrote :
How often do you hear people on hear talking about bad dates they have been on. Many of those bad dates could of been avoided if they had chosen to speak on the phone and they would of been able to realize how incompatible they were then. I still say one of the main reasons why people don't want to talk on the phone before meeting is because they don't want to be the ones who get weeded out.
I typically don't like to talk on the phone a lot because experience has provent to me, that you really don't weed out anything. You don't know what you're weeding out until you meet. I had a couple of hour long conversations with one of the last guys I dated... great conversations... in person, just, nothing. He didn't sense it, I didn't sense it... nothing.

Long phone conversations (to me) are worse than back and forth and back and forth email exchanges (which I would prefer if we need to communicate before meeting). To me, a phone conversation is more intimate... when you can put a face and a feeling to the voice, it makes it that much more special. Otherwise, just awkward, and puts so much more pressure on the first meet.
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #9  July 27,2011, 7:48pm
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jussmile wrote :
I typically don't like to talk on the phone a lot because experience has provent to me, that you really don't weed out anything. You don't know what you're weeding out until you meet. I had a couple of hour long conversations with one of the last guys I dated... great conversations... in person, just, nothing. He didn't sense it, I didn't sense it... nothing.

Long phone conversations (to me) are worse than back and forth and back and forth email exchanges (which I would prefer if we need to communicate before meeting). To me, a phone conversation is more intimate... when you can put a face and a feeling to the voice, it makes it that much more special. Otherwise, just awkward, and puts so much more pressure on the first meet.
Sounds to me like you are just another one of those that doesn't feel comfortable talking to someone they don't know yet.

Anyways phone conversations don't weed out physical attraction issues. But they will weed out people who you simply would not even enjoy having a conversation with. And weeding out the people who you socially are incompatible with is a very good thing to do. After all when meeting people in real life if they are not socially compatible with you do you even bother going on a date with them.
 
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FrankTheGreat is offline FrankTheGreat Post #10  July 27,2011, 8:04pm
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melvimbe wrote :
So I guess my question is...should I just leave it to her to call back and be done? Or should I call back in a day or so if she doesn't. I get the feeling she's the type that likes and is used to being pursued. I'm not much into that, but it's not really much effort on my part.
You already left a message. She can get in touch if she wants. If she wants to be pursued, she's on her own. That doesn't sound like your thing. It may cost you nothing to do, but why do it? Why allow her to dictate the terms of your relationship?

She's held the strings so far in this relationship. Time to claim some control back. You've done what you can. The rest is up to her.
 
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