drtwobe is offline drtwobe Post #91  September 7,2008, 12:42pm
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I agree with rg26 and others. I may note that someone stops responding but I'm not so affected by it. Bascially, they are in another place and that's fine with me. I want someone that's into me, so if he poofs, he's not into me. Even if I meet the person and think I like them, it takes time to develop something (at least 3 dates) of substance which should be mutual. Remember, this is a dating site, so if people vanish it could be for numerous reasons, like dating someone else. I say, just close the match and move on if you're in OC. You can always send a final e-mail if you must.
 
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Beausmom is offline Beausmom Post #92  September 7,2008, 1:57pm
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MPdoc68,155333 wrote :

The simple fact is that most of the time, when someone is not that interested in you, they are not going to take the time (if they had that much concern and empathy for you, then they wouldn't be "not into you" in the first place!)
That's what it all really boils down to, isn't it? They may not dislikeyou, but on the other hand there is not enough emotional attachment for them to make an effort to let you down. You are just a sort of neutral entity out there...
 
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hermindseye is offline hermindseye Post #93  September 7,2008, 2:15pm
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Hi everyone! I'm new to the discussion boards. But I just had an eH match poof on me. We dated for 2 months and everything seemed great. He introduced me to his friends the last time I saw him and told me he loved me. It was a little surprising but he was also drunk so I let it slide. Well, he went Mexico for a week and told me he would call me when he got back. I heard nothing for 4 days after he was supposed to get back. So I texted him "How was Mexico?" in Spanish thinking I was all cute and stuff. Never heard back and it's been 4 weeks or so. And no, nothing happened to him in Mexico, considering he has updated his profile since


Anyway, my attitude is, sure I could call him and demand an explanation. But, if I am not worth it in his eyes to at least be honest with, then why stoop so low and lose my dignity for some guy who is obviously not for me? I am worth more, and so is everyone here NEXT!


I moved on from that and went on a wonderful first meeting with another eH match yesterday. we had a great coffee meet, lasted 3 hrs. I see potential in him. He mentioned meeting up again soon and he agreed to call to set something up. I'm excited to see where it goes and to learn more about him. We are such complicated creatures with such interesting lives don't you think? Either way, I am enjoying the process. Good luck to you all!
 
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sweetpea08 is offline sweetpea08 Post #94  September 7,2008, 2:23pm
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I have poofed a couple of times because when we got to OC I was doing all the work. Emails went back and forth and I was the only one asking the questions. They would answer all my questions very nicely, and then "hope to hear from you again".These fellas apparently didn't care anything about me. After a couple of emails with not one question for me, I ran out of steam. I poofed. Didn't feel guilty.
 
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ANewDater is offline ANewDater Post #95  October 12,2011, 8:03pm
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Beausmom wrote :
That's what it all really boils down to, isn't it? They may not dislikeyou, but on the other hand there is not enough emotional attachment for them to make an effort to let you down. You are just a sort of neutral entity out there...

What happened to the old eharmony "close match," where one would be able to give a reason as to closing. Distance, Different Interests, etc. ?
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #96  October 12,2011, 9:58pm
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Hi ANewDater and welcome to eHA!

Just so you know ... this is a really old thread (see the dates on previous posts) ... but the topic of poofing is still alive and well in newer threads.

There's a forum here called Using eHarmony for questions about, well, Using eHarmony, that you might want to check out. The ability to specify a reason for closing a match got deleted awhile ago, maybe a year or so ago.

Here's that forum: Using eHarmony - eHarmony Advice
 
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