Christians and Dating: What to Expect

Christians and Dating: What to Expect

This discussion is based on an Advice article:
Christians and Dating: What to Expect


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #31  July 17,2011, 7:09am
mitchell175's Avatar

mixing metaphors in a mellifluous melange of malapropisms

Power Poster

Joined: Oct 2010

Boston, MA... or thereabouts

Posts: 6,392

See profile

tweet37 wrote :
Right. That's what I wonder.

But to me your analogy doesn't seem fit. It sounds like you're comparing an emotional decision to a financial one.
That was just an analogy, but you've taken it literally. I don't think about when to have sex with a guy in the same way that I would weigh a financial decision.

The difference is that just because we both might feel the physical intimacy (i.e. lust), there is also a whole other component of emotional intimacy. For me, those two things go together. That's not true for everyone. Some people can separate. I would guess that most men can, more easily than most women.

So, until the emotional intimacy catches up to the physical intimacy... I would choose to wait. That's not the same choice that everyone would make. And, a lot of times the guy is not interested in meshing those two things, at least not right away. And, that's how I know he isn't the right guy for me.

To put it another way... I am not interested in having sex with some guy and then figuring out where the relationship is going - or if it's even going anywhere.
 
  Reply With Quote
happytocount is offline happytocount Post #32  September 2,2011, 3:16pm
happytocount's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2011

Posts: 3

See profile

tweet37 wrote :
Right. That's what I wonder.

But to me your analogy doesn't seem fit. It sounds like you're comparing an emotional decision to a financial one.
After a few weeks and reading the posts I would like to point a few things out. I am a born again christian and I go to church. Their are a few problems to haveing sex early or at all in a relationship irellative to whether you are a christian. One is that for the most part women and men veiw that act differently. It is something special between a man and a women that care for and repsect each other. The problem as that most of society has started to treat having sex like going to the movies. Sexual compatibility I beleive is important but should be the last thing on the check list for marriage after you are compatible on the other levels. Promiscuity has absolutley never made a person feel better about theirselves. Just saying...
 
  Reply With Quote
Nanette is offline Nanette Post #33  September 2,2011, 3:26pm
Nanette's Avatar

~ giving gentle smack-downs... vewy vewy gentle

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 7,451

See profile

PreachersSon wrote :
True, but growing up as a pastor's son, you see enough of the posers, and learn to spot them right off most times. It's like you develop antennae for fakers. And someone who is real about their faith just gets better the more you get to know them.
PreachersSon wrote :
I can understand your frustration, but you hear the same thing from Christian women--that men in the church treat them worse than worldly men. Of course, the worldly men treat them that way because they're only interested in one thing, as the saying goes. Still, it's not a one way street.
As a believer, I have to say that, generally speaking, the church would be the last place i would look for someone. In fact, most times I'd be inclined to take a "worldly" guy over a "churchy" one, as apparently many of the "churchy" ones are after that "one thing" that you indicate above.

This video was made by one of my favorite You Tube atheists. Its only for the month of Feb 2011

Danger, you say? - YouTube
 
  Reply With Quote
happytocount is offline happytocount Post #34  September 2,2011, 4:04pm
happytocount's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2011

Posts: 3

See profile

mitchell175 wrote :
I will say this about the Church. If the Church offered what people today are looking for, then they might have more success in wooing people back to the Church.

I can only speak for the Catholic Church, which has remained steadfast in their indoctrinated view of things. There is no "questioning" in the Catholic Church. You either follow the old school way of looking at things - or they don't want you. I am not going to turn this into a debate on what the Church is or is not doing to encourage members to "come home" or stay... But, I just wanted to say that there are reasons why some people no longer actively participate in their church. And, it's not because they lack "morals and ethics".
Here in lies the problem with religion and denominations... If you read the bible then you will know that Jesus said we are the church (' those that have accepted christ as savior") Being a Christian is about your personal relationship with Christ and how you live your life., Not what church you go to.

So if we are tying to date active Christians we should be 1. doing in with great prayer asking for decernment 2. Not trusting in demoninations but Christ and the Holy Spririt and the heart of the person we are dating. 3. Remembering that God is incontrol we only have to listen. 4. We have all made poor choices in relationship choicing by ourselves. I am am over getting in Gods way. I am letting him lead me this time. Otherwise I will only screw it up. LOL

Finding true believing Christians to date is quit a challenge. Going to church and being active in helping others is part of the spiritual growth process and I need the encouragement I get from my fellow Christians to be able to deal with this world. So if we think we can be successful Christians without it we are fooling ourselves.

I wish everyone that they find a relationship that will be the true and unconditional love that Christ gave us. Okay I am off the soapbox. Ya'll sure got me riled up there for a minute. LOL
 
  Reply With Quote
SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #35  September 3,2011, 5:15pm
SierraMountai…'s Avatar

The Doctor just called. Your test results are in.

Power Poster

Joined: Apr 2008

California, but NORTHERN California

Posts: 6,025

See profile

suzyque wrote :
I was on a Christian dating site for awhile and had bad luck with the quality ofmen. One guy had a DUI and couldn't drive - appealing! Another guy starting IMing me in a sexual way. All the others were just too far away. I found if I wrote about my faith on my Match.com profile that I attracted plenty of christian men. It is hard to find authentic, walking the talk christian men.
That is probably because the vast majority of them are already happily married, I would surmise.
 
  Reply With Quote
szgorzelski is offline szgorzelski Post #36  September 3,2011, 9:24pm
szgorzelski's Avatar

is on beercation.

Veteran

Joined: Jan 2010

Fort Eustis, VA

Posts: 1,413

See profile

I'm Christian but not a Christian dater, if that makes any sense. Being Christian is not a prerequisite for a potential partner, but I don't think I a relationship with me would last too long if she wasn't Christian. It's just the upbringing and brainwashing in me, I guess.

I feel comfortable at church, but I only go out about once per year, and that's only because there was a function I had to attend that just happened to be at a church, like a funeral of a fallen comrade, daughter's vacation Bible school, etc. I used to go more often when I was younger, then I started learning more about how the Bible was put together, who decided what books belonged in it, and other politically-motivated things that really turned me off from the church. I believe in God and talk to him from time to tim, but on my own time.

I don't think I would like to date a Muslim, Jew, Wiccan, etc because I know eventually it wouldn't work, despite how little I think of organized Christian churches. On the other hand, I don't think I would like to date a Bible thumper who praises God every other sentence.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« The Hook Up Post | Dating | 15 Great First Date Questions »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ ^This is the better plan.. My experience has been that love usually comes along when you least expect it, and when your heart is open enough to let it in. If you try to put a set time table on when ... ” –  TheThinker

Join the “Transition from dating to relationship” discussion

“ As Ingy mentions ...he's good with the lines and multitasking relationships.. All anyone can say is: don't get played again...especially by the same guy twice... Move on to someone who is decisive ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“This varies based on your age, gender, location, settings, and 29 dimensions. My settings are fairly narrow and I've always gotten a steady stream of matches. But, my location seems to have a lot ... ” –  dmi

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“I'm extremely allergic to cats, plus I just don't like 'em. So I won't date someone with cats. Dogs, I love. But I'm attracted to certain types of dogs. A guy with a little yorkie turns me off. ... ” –  ZisaGirl

Join the “What about a "PET BOX" ?? again this sounds simple or??” discussion

“If you get the opportunity, yes.” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“...and since you're Shaun Cassidy fan mitchell...this song is just for you! "Da Doo Ron Ron" I met her on a Monday And my heart stood still Da doo ron ron ron Da doo ron ron Somebody told me That ... ” –  legend29

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 8:01am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0