Help! The guy i like just got out of a LTR!


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BigBass89 is offline BigBass89 Post #1  July 13,2011, 10:23am
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I am writing this because i really have no one to go to. Hopefully if your reading this, you will give me advice. I am twenty-two and the guy i am interested in is twenty-six. I am a Virgo, and he is a Scorpio. We met through mutual friends, and we are hitting it off. I am looking for a LTR, and he respects, and loves the fact that i am not all about sex. He on the other hand just got out of a 7 year relationship, which he ended. He has said it is completely over, but he want's to take it slow. I can tell he likes me, he get's all nervous, shy ect. We have a lot in common and i really want to hangout, take it slow. Maybe when he brings me around his family, friends ect... start to take it to the next level. One MAJOR issue is, he lives almost 2 hours away. His only day off usually is Sundays and Mondays. He's self employed so he usually doesn't take days off. The other issue is i am an Architect Student. I am busy a lot, but i do have time free sometimes. I was thinking maybe these issues can help to take things slow?! Can it? I can tell he is falling for me, and i know i am falling for him, but i don't know what to do. There is a lot of issues here. 1. he just got out of a LTR 2. He lives 2 hours away. 3. He works constantly. Please respond and help me if your reading this. I will greatly appreciate it.
 
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jme21 is offline jme21 Post #2  July 13,2011, 11:57am
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BigBass89 wrote :
I am writing this because i really have no one to go to. Hopefully if your reading this, you will give me advice. I am twenty-two and the guy i am interested in is twenty-six. I am a Virgo, and he is a Scorpio. We met through mutual friends, and we are hitting it off. I am looking for a LTR, and he respects, and loves the fact that i am not all about sex. He on the other hand just got out of a 7 year relationship, which he ended. He has said it is completely over, but he want's to take it slow. I can tell he likes me, he get's all nervous, shy ect. We have a lot in common and i really want to hangout, take it slow. Maybe when he brings me around his family, friends ect... start to take it to the next level. One MAJOR issue is, he lives almost 2 hours away. His only day off usually is Sundays and Mondays. He's self employed so he usually doesn't take days off. The other issue is i am an Architect Student. I am busy a lot, but i do have time free sometimes. I was thinking maybe these issues can help to take things slow?! Can it? I can tell he is falling for me, and i know i am falling for him, but i don't know what to do. There is a lot of issues here. 1. he just got out of a LTR 2. He lives 2 hours away. 3. He works constantly. Please respond and help me if your reading this. I will greatly appreciate it.
Ummm....I'm not sure what your zodiac signs have to do with this but ok.

In fact, I'm not even sure what you're looking for here, is there a question?

1) Yeah, he got out of a relationship. And? Seems to bother you more than him for some reason. He's the one that ended it - if it was the other way around and he might still possibly have feelings for the ex and is bringing that into the relationship with you, then sure, be concerned but nothing you wrote seems to indicate that.

2) A LTR doesn't develop over night, it takes time. If he likes you and wants to spend time with you when he can then what else do you want? If you don't spend as much time together as you'd like then obviously that's your right and should voice your concern. If he can't make more time for you then you should probably find someone who can. If you're going to school though, this situation with him outta be pretty ideal considering he lives out of town and you can focus on school when you need to.

3) Being self employed, especially early on in the development of the business can be hard. If you become too demanding about not getting enough time he will eventually drop you like a bad habit. His work/business is likely his biggest priority, as it should be, especially just getting out of a long term relationship and wanting to take it slow...that seems pretty clear to me.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #3  July 13,2011, 3:47pm
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when did his 7 year relationship end?

what prompted him to say "he wants to take it slow" and what justification did he give for this?
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #4  July 13,2011, 4:18pm
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an observation...your profile says your a man....

Thought you were female...men arent into zodiac stuff.

How do you know he even sings that way?



a 2 hrs apart does make this relationship become one that can be slow because you could only see each on the weekends.

If he is interested in you he will make time to be with you.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  July 14,2011, 4:59am
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As a Virgo you are more compatible with Capricorn, Taurus and Cancer. But a Scorpio is not too bad a match.

OK now that we got the Astrology out of the way on to things that actually matter.

His LTR is of a real concern here. He is 26 and recently ended a 7 year relationship. This means that he was in that LTR since he was 19. In other words nearly his entire dating lifetime was spent in one relationship. I would view this as pretty much the same emotional situation as going through a divorce. He really needs a year or more to get to a good place where he would be ready to date again.

He also has little dating experience (and actually you don't have all that much either) and he should not be looking to get into another relationship now but should be dating many different girls. Dating should be a time to 1) learn about the other person and 2) learn about yourself.

The 2 hour distance is sure to put a strain on the relationship but is not insurmountable. His working a lot is also going to cause some strain in the relationship, but is not insurmountable it just means that you have to make time for what is important. Also your being a student in a field that requires a lot of study is also going to be putting a strain on the relationship

My personal recommendation would be for him to take the time needed get beyond his ex and be in a place where he can be a good partner for his next relationship. Also when he does get to the point where he is ready to begin dating again he should be dating different women to really determine what is and is not important to him in a partner.

My advice to you is to concentrate on completing your degree in architecture. Date different guys so that you can determine what is and is not important to you in a partner.

If you and this guy want to continue to date, fine. But guard your heart and both date others at this time. You have a lifetime ahead of you there is no reason to rush toward a LTR.
 
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BigBass89 is offline BigBass89 Post #6  July 14,2011, 12:01pm
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jme21 wrote :
Ummm....I'm not sure what your zodiac signs have to do with this but ok.

In fact, I'm not even sure what you're looking for here, is there a question?

1) Yeah, he got out of a relationship. And? Seems to bother you more than him for some reason. He's the one that ended it - if it was the other way around and he might still possibly have feelings for the ex and is bringing that into the relationship with you, then sure, be concerned but nothing you wrote seems to indicate that.

2) A LTR doesn't develop over night, it takes time. If he likes you and wants to spend time with you when he can then what else do you want? If you don't spend as much time together as you'd like then obviously that's your right and should voice your concern. If he can't make more time for you then you should probably find someone who can. If you're going to school though, this situation with him outta be pretty ideal considering he lives out of town and you can focus on school when you need to.

3) Being self employed, especially early on in the development of the business can be hard. If you become too demanding about not getting enough time he will eventually drop you like a bad habit. His work/business is likely his biggest priority, as it should be, especially just getting out of a long term relationship and wanting to take it slow...that seems pretty clear to me.
Thanks, So i looked towards zodiac "stupid i know" to see if we were compatible. Basically the question i was asking is..could we make this work? Are these issues to big of issues to just stop talking and move on with our lives? i'm not to worried about his recent LTR, break-up. His ex worked off shore, so they were done along time before he just said "i'm done" It's no biggie for me. On the other hand his lack of dating, worries me. He grew with this person. Anyways school is the least of my worries. Goodbye, thanks.....I'll figure it out
 
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