Is someone really too busy to text someone back?


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Jediknight4jc is offline Jediknight4jc Post #1  July 2,2011, 5:59am
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Hello all, I am new here.

Is someone really too busy to text someone back?

A girl that I am in a relationship will sometimes take a really long time to text me back. Yesterday, I texted her at 9:00 in the morning and said "good morning". She never did text me back, but luckily she did call after she got off from work, which was about 5:15. She said that she was too busy to text me back, yet I know that where she works, the people text each other often to communicate. Am I being oversensitive in thinking that saying that she was too busy to text me back, was just an excuse? Could she have not texted during lunch or on a bathroom break etc...?

She knows that this sort of stuff bothers me. To me, if I care about someone, I can always find a few second to text them back etc...

Thanks, and I appreciate any input.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  July 2,2011, 6:08am
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Certainly someone can be too busy to answer a message immediately.

Since this is a major concern to you, at the very least you and this girl have different communication styles that are not compatible. YOU can either learn that this is not such a big deal OR you can end this relationship and find someone else who has a communication style that matches your own.
 
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LDJ is offline LDJ Post #3  July 2,2011, 6:24am
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Is the issue really how busy she is? Or does this relate to your need to be reassured of your importance to her? If it is the latter, then in what other ways do you get reassured about her feelings for you? Is it possible that you seek reassurance too much and have worn her out on that? The fact that she called you at the end of the day should provide you with adequate reassurance.

Another option you have is to stop texting her if it does not result in the kind of response you prefer.

Literally speaking, it would depend on her job as to whether she is too busy, but most people have 5 secs within an 8hr time period. Some people do not reply to a text that does not ask for a repsonse, as in Good morning, have a nice day, that doesn't necessarily prompt a recipient to feel obligated to reply vs a midday text that says Are you having a good day?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #4  July 2,2011, 6:30am
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I agree with Great Guy.

It is easy to be "too busy" during the work day - especially if she, like me, preferes to focus on her employer's business during the time her employer is paying for.

I think you are likely to come across as needy, or even creepy, if you don't lighten up on this unnecessary text.
 
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Jediknight4jc is offline Jediknight4jc Post #5  July 2,2011, 6:37am
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I don't say anything about and I act like it doesn't bother me, so I don't think I come across as needy or creepy.

I told her that in the past that I didn't like it when someone wouldn't call or text me back though.

As for being busy, I am a personal injury attorney and I know all about being busy. It doesn't mean that I can't make time for a few seconds though.

I appreciate everyone's input
 
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LDJ is offline LDJ Post #6  July 2,2011, 6:55am
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Jediknight4jc wrote :
I don't say anything about and I act like it doesn't bother me, so I don't think I come across as needy or creepy.

I told her that in the past that I didn't like it when someone wouldn't call or text me back though.

As for being busy, I am a personal injury attorney and I know all about being busy. It doesn't mean that I can't make time for a few seconds though.

I appreciate everyone's input
Nothing wrong with being needy, romantic relationships are about fulfilling needs, within reason. Effective communication is about expressing how you would like those needs fulfilled. Based on what you have said here, if I were her, I wouldn't know how important it is to you that I respond as promptly as possible to your texts. Its a pretty easy thing to communicate and a simple way for her to offer you validation. I think you need to more clearly state to her your expectations on this, if I were her I would value the clarity.
 
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flgal is offline flgal Post #7  July 2,2011, 6:55am
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Jediknight4jc wrote :
I don't say anything about and I act like it doesn't bother me, so I don't think I come across as needy or creepy.
This isn't fair to you or to her and this type of coping mechanism can and will lead to major problems down the road. Honesty and communication are vital to a healthy relationship.

How do you know other people where she works text all the time? Perhaps she prefers not to text at work, which is why she doesn't respond until afterwards. If you don't address this with her, you may never know. You have a responsiblity to let her know how you feel about this instead of not saying anything and letting on that it doesn't bother you.
 
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myusernamehere is online now myusernamehere Post #8  July 2,2011, 7:25am
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This is a good time for the Brad Pit rule. If you were Brad Pit do you think that she would be too busy to respond? Think about it.
 
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Icanhasadvice is offline Icanhasadvice Post #9  July 2,2011, 7:28am
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I personally will very seldom text at work. In fact, most of the time my personal cell phone is off during those hours. I think the fact that she returned your message with a phone call right after work says she is thinking about you but wishes to keep work and personal communication separate.
Last edited by Icanhasadvice; July 2,2011 at 7:32am.
 
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upstategirl is offline upstategirl Post #10  July 2,2011, 7:29am
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[quote=Jediknight4jc;1374154]
wrote :
I don't say anything about and I act like it doesn't bother me, so I don't think I come across as needy or creepy.

You are not doing yourself any favors by acting like it doesn't bother you and not letting her know how you feel. If it bothers you that much, you owe it to yourself (and her) to talk about this and come to some type of understanding or compromise about what works best for both of you.
 
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