Giving up on dating HOT/HOT guys!

I can't talk for all women... but for me personally, yeah... it takes so much more than looks for me to want to have sex with a guy. He would have to score really high on all of my criteria, then we would have to be in a long-term, lasting relationship before that happens. This is why physical attraction is not #1 to me... maybe it has to do with having no intention for sex right away? so, I know I have plenty of time for the physical chemistry to grow.

Well, I have no intention of sleeping with anyone right away either - but it's certainly a key figure in my long term evaluation. It's also the very first thing I notice about someone; what other characteristics are you going to evaluate at a first glance? If he doesn't make me want to take a second glance...why would I? It's not me consciously saying, "Nope, moving on" it's just "Oh, there's a man...oooh, there's a man"

The online thing muddies everything for me...I still haven't figured out my best approach to it. In theory, getting to a meet ASAP is good...except, the few men I had the best rapport with in emails were also the ones I had best rapport with in person (after evaluating their photos as passable, of course ). Based on that, with a little emailing I could save myself some dud dates...but I really like meeting people and not spending time on emailing. Round and round.

I don't know...you seem to be so stringent on your way of thinking and go from one extreme to the other...one minute you are practically in love with Mr. The One....and just because he didn't want to commit and say you all are exclusive after 2 dates...you drop him immediately and then say..that's it...NO MORE dating 'hot/hot' guys...

are you kidding me??? This was with one... I repeat... ONE guy. I got the idea from a guy that asked me after the second date. Are you kidding?? I have never asked a guy to go exclusive after a second date, except that one time.

And, you keep skipping the most important part of the story with Mr. Former One... It's not that he wasn't ready to commit after two dates... he had just gotten his divorce... ink was still drying... so just wasn't sure, if ever, he would be willing to commit. He wasn't there emotionally. He wanted to give it time, and to know if he could contact me if he ever got there. So, give me a break. I didn't put any pressure on the guy. I don't need a commitment so soon, but yes, I want to know that we are heading in the same direction. For instance, if marriage or having kids is very important to me... I don't need a guy to commit to that on the first, second, etc., etc., etc... dates. but..... believe it is important for me to know that we're at least headed in the same direction and if we do grow into each other, that it's a possibility. That's all I ever asked for.

And, as far as taking people's advice on here and trying change... just like I tell my mom... I don't take anyone's advice blindly. I listen to a lot of different opinions, and like to get various perspectives and lenses. I do try new things... like not multi-dating, and focusing on one person sooner... I tried that, but didn't care for the way things went... So, I didn't.

I decided to go back to my friend after he really wanted to give it another chance. I didn't have an interest in responding to my contacts, so thought I should at least try... maybe I was to hasty. I had admitted that I had been hasty in past situations, so wanted to give it another shot...