Canceled date and now wants "rain-check", what would you do?


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itsabeatutifulday is offline itsabeatutifulday Post #1  May 24,2011, 1:02pm
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Discouraged.....

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Trying to figure this out and sure need some advice. Recently reconnected with an old boyfriend. We had a great heart-to-heart conversation a few weeks ago about what caused our break-up. He sent me a text later that night that he really wanted us to work this time. We text daily. Saw him last Friday night at his place and something seemed off. I thought it was due to his daughter being home as her plans for the night fell thru.

I was supposed to make a nice dinner for him tonight at my place. Late this morning, I received a text from him, saying his daughter just let him know she had a graduation event he had to attend tonight…Nothing about being sorry or rescheduling. So I sent him a text saying something seemed off between us this past week esp. with the cancelation and if things had progressed with someone else, I understand. He responded his daughter had an event, otherwise we would be seeing each other tonight and could he have a rain check? Didn’t address my other question. I know he is very active on Match.com, so what do you all think?
Last edited by itsabeatutifulday; May 24,2011 at 1:05pm.
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #2  May 24,2011, 1:08pm
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Is this the guy from your posts back in April? The guy who cheated on you and broke up by email?
 
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jimmyh452 is offline jimmyh452 Post #3  May 24,2011, 1:09pm
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take the rain check but i'd very clearly re-ask your question about things seeming off...

Who knows, maybe he had a bad day. Maybe you thought things seemed off but they really weren't. The only advice I can give is to ask again and make sure you get an answer.
 
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itsabeatutifulday is offline itsabeatutifulday Post #4  May 24,2011, 1:10pm
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Ingytravel wrote :
Is this the guy from your posts back in April? The guy who cheated on you and broke up by email?
No this is a guy I dated when that guy and I were broken up.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #5  May 24,2011, 1:10pm
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itsabeatutifulday wrote :
Trying to figure this out and sure need some advice. Recently reconnected with an old boyfriend. We had a great heart-to-heart conversation a few weeks ago about what caused our break-up. He sent me a text later that night that he really wanted us to work this time. We text daily. Saw him last Friday night at his place and something seemed off. I thought it was due to his daughter being home as her plans for the night fell thru.

I was supposed to make a nice dinner for him tonight at my place. Late this morning, I received a text from him, saying his daughter just let him know she had a graduation event he had to attend tonight…Nothing about being sorry or rescheduling. So I sent him a text saying something seemed off between us this past week esp. with the cancelation and if things had progressed with someone else, I understand. He responded his daughter had an event, otherwise we would be seeing each other tonight and could he have a rain check? Didn’t address my other question. I know he is very active on Match.com, so what do you all think?
All you can do is take him at his word.
If it were me, I would not even talk about "things progressing with someone else"...
That kind of talk is pretty counter productive..
sort of like saying"oh yeah, if there's someone else in your life...no big deal"..
I don't know why would you want to give him thoughts such as that.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #6  May 24,2011, 1:12pm
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Doesn't matter what his reason for cancelling is, he needs to get back to you with an offer to reschedule and not just a "rain check".

Give him the benefit of the doubt on this one. It is graduation time. Not all schools work on the same schedule. My son's new girlfriend is already out of school while my son has almost another month left!
 
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SouthernBella7 is offline SouthernBella7 Post #7  May 24,2011, 1:14pm
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Give him the benefit of the doubt and don't be too pushy in demanding a response to your question. All will be revealed in time...
 
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itsabeatutifulday is offline itsabeatutifulday Post #8  May 24,2011, 1:17pm
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TheThinker wrote :
All you can do is take him at his word.
If it were me, I would not even talk about "things progressing with someone else"...
That kind of talk is pretty counter productive..
sort of like saying"oh yeah, if there's someone else in your life...no big deal"..
I don't know why would you want to give him thoughts such as that.
I know...I know, he is mid 50s and he usually dates much younger women who are surgically enhanced. So I just have a hard time believing I am really want he wants physically. I am 50 and in very good shape and would just as soon spend time with guys who have less issues with aging. Hope that made sense...
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #9  May 24,2011, 1:19pm
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Maybe I am missreading something.....

You and he had dated before so you knew him.ily life with his kids.

This kind of thing is not at all unheardof when it comes to teenage children telling their parents at the last minute they had to do something with school.


The part that stuck me and would have turned me off....

You seemed to assume that this was a line and he is actually pursuing someone else and tht he canceled at the last minute to date a different woman. I would have been upset at this if I was him.

Here is a bigger picture item to know about...why did you and he break up before?? If it was because of your jealousy/insecurity then you lost your second chance.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #10  May 24,2011, 1:21pm
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itsabeatutifulday wrote :
I know...I know, he is mid 50s and he usually dates much younger women who are surgically enhanced. So I just have a hard time believing I am really want he wants physically. I am 50 and in very good shape and would just as soon spend time with guys who have less issues with aging. Hope that made sense...
so do you really think it's fake boobs that keeps him interested in a woman?
I can't imagine that that's the reason..
I can honestly say, if the rest of her is a nutzoid...I would not care if she had triple Zs.
 
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