stag is offline stag Post #1  May 3,2011, 5:10am
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I am about to go out on a third date with a very nice lady. Shas been a widow for going on a year and has gone out a little. I have been divorced 7 months and have dated quite a bit.

I feel a definite "click" between us. We have completed the same thought a few times by saying the same thing in unison. Maybe this isnt unusual but i havent experienced it before.

We have not yet kissed or evn hugged. My question is, should i attempt either one after our next date? I know it varies by situation but i dont want her to think i am not interested. I feel very fortunate to have met her.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #2  May 3,2011, 5:13am
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Roger-Echo-Charlie...all systems are a go..You are clear for launch-
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Go for it..








ETA: some light reading: Men: What triggers you to initiate physical contact?
Last edited by TrekRyder10; May 3,2011 at 5:17am.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #3  May 3,2011, 5:21am
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You're at least one date behind.

Pay attention to the green lights, if she's giving you them.
 
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LDJ is offline LDJ Post #4  May 3,2011, 5:41am
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It would be helpful to know you ages. But here is the advice from a 47 yr old girl.

I'm not a fan of stolen kisses that come out of the blue. But if a guy asks for a kiss, that's tacky and unromantic. If you have to ask permission, it isn't time yet.

However, asking for a hugg is ok because, it is never too soon for a hug it is not as intruisive. So, "how about a hug" at the end of a date is respectful and charming, imho.

Another good ice breaker would be to text her earlier in the day of your date and say "looking forward to seeing you tonight and giving you a big hug" Then do it!

You will be able to gauge her comfort level for physical affection by progressing slowly towards that. Start by holding her hand, putting your arm on her shoulder while walking from the car of if you go for a walk. Another warm maneuvre is to sit beside her rather than across from her in a booth while having dinner, if it is booth seating. This allows you to put your arm across the back of the bench or almost around her in a casual way. If it is awkward at all, simply ask if she'd prefer you sit on the other side.

By the third date, I'd be wondering what the hold up is, so if she's agreed to go out with you three times, I'm pretty sure she likes you enough to welcome some tokens of physical affection.
 
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stag is offline stag Post #5  May 3,2011, 6:01am
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I am 50, she is 48.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #6  May 3,2011, 6:17am
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stag wrote :
I am 50, she is 48.
so what sort of signals is she giving you?
 
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stag is offline stag Post #7  May 3,2011, 6:23am
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I am not sure about signals. The 2 times we have gone out it mostly consisted of very good conversation with alot of smiles and looking into each others eyes. I believe in following your intuition and i was getting very good feelings through out us being together.

We have sat across from each other at small tables each time. When we said goodbye we were a couple feet apart each time. I think i am really starting to like her and dont want to blow it.
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #8  May 3,2011, 6:27am
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stag wrote :
We have sat across from each other at small tables each time. When we said goodbye we were a couple feet apart each time. I think i am really starting to like her and dont want to blow it.
I think it is awkward to sit next to each other at dinner when there are only 2 of you there. However, if you are having drinks at a bar, it is comfortable to sit side by side.

Also, if you are "a couple feet apart" when saying goodbye... move in a little closer! There is a thing about "invading personal space" - but, you're on a date, not at a business meeting! A little personal space invading is called for in that case.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #9  May 3,2011, 6:28am
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If you want to take it slowly but surely, put your arms out for a hug at the end of the next date. I guarantee she'll hug you back. She will probably also give you a peck on the cheek.

After that, hugs and kisses will become much more frequent.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #10  May 3,2011, 6:36am
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stag wrote :
I am not sure about signals. The 2 times we have gone out it mostly consisted of very good conversation with alot of smiles and looking into each others eyes. I believe in following your intuition and i was getting very good feelings through out us being together.

We have sat across from each other at small tables each time. When we said goodbye we were a couple feet apart each time. I think i am really starting to like her and dont want to blow it.
You're not going to blow it.
You're off to a good start. At this point, someone has to initiate...it should be you...that's my policy.
At this point she's probably waiting for you to take the lead.
You can begin by lightly touching her arm during conversation, see how she reacts, when you greet her, give her a hug, and hug her like a man hugs a woman, not like a family member, though!

If all this goes well, and at the end of the night as you walk her to her car, whatever, turn and take her hand and pull her her in slowly, while you are looking at her, and just kiss her...

C'mon, you know the drill...you ain't dead yet.
 
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