KikiAZ is offline KikiAZ Post #11  April 29,2011, 4:07pm
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PinkyOnyx wrote :
I just shared three wonderful days together.

I was almost positive this guy wasn't in it and I was gonna have to move on.

I actually wanted to know why he even asked, besides my conclusion he was being an ass.

But I told him I didn't want to do it cuz I didn't want to lose him to the other woman, and that I wasn't into that.

I've done stuff with him already I wouldn't do for any other guy!!

he's very protective of me and maybe a little possessive. If I feel someone's being too friendly with me, he sets upon setting the guy straight, but I stop him of course lol. And he gets mad when I tell him I got hit at work again(boss is a bit overplayful and tends to hit me too hard).

he explained

we proved to each other our dating profiles were suspended.

And he used the word "Yet". That tells me there's hope and its safe to think this might go further. I didn't press any further in order to not freak him out

willing to see me more than once a week
This is why we think he is controlling and manipulative. You are not a partner here.

 
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szgorzelski is offline szgorzelski Post #12  April 29,2011, 4:13pm
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I usually find these message boards anti-guy when it comes to guy vs. gal, but this time they're right. Take off the blinders.
 
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Skippy705 is offline Skippy705 Post #13  April 29,2011, 4:55pm
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Pinky if you don't like controlling, how about manipulative?!

Who said threesome had to be two girls and a guy? Why don't you bring in an ex-boyfriend for him? Sound absurd? So does his "Bucket List".

He's playing you like a fiddle! Run!! Fast!!

If you were my daughter I'd make sure he knew the meaning of "I'll be here cleaning my gun". I don't care if you are 24 or 44, this guy is trouble!!
 
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andro444 is offline andro444 Post #14  April 29,2011, 5:07pm
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I have to agree with "him playing you" part. You are not his gf yet and he is already asking you about a threesome? I understand couples who have been together for years and want to spice up their lives...but you are just a girl he slept with to him right now. Your suspended profiles prove nothing. He may have another one on a different site and still date women. He sounds like trouble, I am sorry.
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #15  April 29,2011, 5:49pm
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wrote :
And he gets mad when I tell him I got hit at work again(boss is a bit overplayful and tends to hit me too hard).
Your boss also sounds like a character. If--I'm only saying if--you've been in abusive relationships before, consider joining a support group who can help you see what to expect in a normal relationship.
 
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lobstermilkshake is offline lobstermilkshake Post #16  April 29,2011, 6:24pm
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Talk about threesomes partially ruined my marriage. It only works when both have NO reservations about it in their initial reaction. It's not something you get used to, and it's not something you should have to "compromise" on.

Stay away from it, it's vile and it will devastate you as it did me.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #17  April 29,2011, 6:27pm
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If I am reading this correctly you have only been dating for a short time. Seems to me you are moving kind of fast. Also you say that you are exclusive but I am not real certain from the OP that you have discussed exactly what being exclusive means and that is what you BOTH want. I also saw the reference to "threesome" and am not certain if we are talking about a Ménage à trois or some sort of love triangle. I also get the impression that you are not into either of these scenarios but it does seem that this guy is thinking either of these are "normal".

All things considered I don't think that this is the relationship that you are looking for and it is time to move on and find a guy that shares the same things you are looking for in a relationship.
 
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pinkypil is offline pinkypil Post #18  April 29,2011, 7:33pm
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PinkyOnyx wrote :
Whoa back up people!!

Where is everyone getting this control thing from?!

Since when was going with the flow him controlling me?! Chill out!
Well he might going with the flow but YOU certainly aren;t. If you did you wouldn't pressure him for a title.
He is controlling you and using you for sex only, why wouldn't he?
He says jump and you say how high. You are not his gf that is what he told you, right?
Then what are you to him? Just like someone else said YOU NEED TO FOUND A BACK BONE my dear!
Good luck
 
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ever_hopeful is offline ever_hopeful Post #19  April 30,2011, 9:14am
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The other posters are right. You are allowing him to define this relationship and your lack of confidence and need for acceptance make you very vulnerable to his manipulation.

A guy who categorizes a threesome as an item on his bucket list to do before settling down would not be wanting to include someone he was serious about as long-term girlfriend material in that equation. Think about it: in his mind you are someone to be used to fulfill an item he wants to do before settling down. When that is over, he would cross it---and you---off his bucket list.
 
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