Confused about this situation! Why isn't she talking to me?


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Mrcooldude is offline Mrcooldude Post #1  April 28,2011, 7:42pm
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So I've been going on dates with this girl for about 5 weeks. We talk almost every night and things have been going great. The other day, Monday, I asked her if she wanted to go to the baseball game she said yes and was really excited. Here's our texts (I'm the one in the green):


and then this is later that night after I got out of class:



We skype video chatted for a while and we both went to be happy.

On tuesday I really didnt get to talk to her because I had to work till 11pm and she goes to bed before then.

The next day I texted her because my class was cancelled and i wanted to see if she wanted to get dinner that night. Her mom was visiting in town and she was going to leave the next day as well.



So I answer her when she asks how my day was.... No response and i text her two more times and no response.



So that text was from yesterday when she didnt respond... I tried calling her about an two hours ago and still no response... The reason why I am posting this is because this is so out of the ordinary and I dont know why shes not talking to me when she asked how my day was and all that.

So I have two questions:
1. Any idea why she all of the sudden is ignoring me? She has to be because this is so unlike any other day.
2. If she doesnt call me back by saturday for the game what should I do? Text her that day and ask her if shes still interested in going? Or do I just wait for her to call me and if she doesnt call back then I just take a friend to the game instead and assume she's no longer interested?

Any feedback will help... Thanks!
 
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savman is offline savman Post #2  April 28,2011, 8:00pm
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Hard to know. Maybe that night she did not answer because she was hanging out with her family. Not sure why no message today. I would probably message her something random tomorrow.
 
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marcus_thames is offline marcus_thames Post #3  April 28,2011, 8:05pm
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No offennse mrcooldude, but I dont know how this girl would feel about you posting her messages. just fyi.
Last edited by marcus_thames; April 28,2011 at 8:08pm.
 
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1Horselady is offline 1Horselady Post #4  April 28,2011, 8:23pm
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I would probably text her 1 more time.

Why aren't you guys talking on the phone? Texting is easy, but after awhile I feel that a few people get less and less interested in the other person texting, mainly because they might feel that that person doesn't want to move on to the next step-which to me is talking on the phone. Imho, she may be doing a step towards POOFING. Please keep that in mind if she fails to respond to your next text.

Hopefully I'm wrong, and she will reply. If she doesn't, than I'm sorry, and forget her, and move on to the next one. No one knows why people poof, but unfortunately they do. It's something you have to live with, because it happens to almost everyone at some point.

Please let us know what happens,



Suzie PS, She may also just want to be with her family right now, and doesn't want to be bothered with any outside person contacting her.
Last edited by 1Horselady; April 28,2011 at 8:25pm.
 
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lobstermilkshake is offline lobstermilkshake Post #5  April 28,2011, 8:40pm
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Seems like you came off as too strong. She might think you're being clingy especially if she wasn't that interested in you to begin with. Don't text "you there?"

I know it's tempting but trust the process. She knows the ball is in her court. You dont need to remind her.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #6  April 28,2011, 9:06pm
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There's always the possibility that her phone was lost/damaged/stolen. It happens. Happened to my daughter last weekend (stolen at school) and it happened to one of her friends this afternoon (phone got dropped in water). So I know all too well it can happen, and it can be frustrating until you're hooked up again with a new phone. The frustration is compounded by losing all your contact info from your old phone.

On the off chance that is it, do you have some other way to also contact her? Land line or email or something?
 
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brokensmile76 is offline brokensmile76 Post #7  April 28,2011, 9:09pm
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What happened during Skype? That's the missing piece to this. I think whatever was said or was done during your Skype session is making her back off.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #8  April 28,2011, 9:40pm
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You are overanalyzing this......really......

she went to see family.....anything could have happened....

her phone died

she was busy seeing and talking to family so phone goes in her purse

I get this from my gf ...when I am home I dont carry around my cell with me so sometimes I leave it in the bedroom and go watch TV or do something else in the living room so I am not following the text.

Right now I am out of town this weekend spending a weekend visiting my brother and has family. She knows I am going to be busy with family and not much into talking with her on the phone.

For all you know she could have been in a movie and turned off her phone.
 
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1Horselady is offline 1Horselady Post #9  April 28,2011, 10:09pm
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
There's always the possibility that her phone was lost/damaged/stolen. It happens. Happened to my daughter last weekend (stolen at school) and it happened to one of her friends this afternoon (phone got dropped in water). So I know all too well it can happen, and it can be frustrating until you're hooked up again with a new phone. The frustration is compounded by losing all your contact info from your old phone.

On the off chance that is it, do you have some other way to also contact her? Land line or email or something?
The only problem with no phone use is that even if she had it stolen, lost, or broken for whatever reason, couldn't she have borrowed another relative's phone, even for a quick message? The same goes for computer use, why hasn't she borrowed a relatives's computer?
I feel that if she doesn't contact him in another 24 hours, she is probably on her way out.

I Had a bf who did this( calling me on phone-I don't text). He had to go out of town, and he was supposed to be back the next day. Well........ he wasn't. I tried to contact him several times, and guess what? NO CONTACT. Nor did he contact me. I had plans to be somewhere on Sun. He didn't get back until after I got back home( someone else had to take me to my appointment). He said he was with friends and didn't think it was a big deal. I did. He was supposed to take me to the appointment. Come to find out, he left his phone at home( don't ask me how I know). And, he's no longer a bf.

Hopefully I'm wrong, but that is the way I see it. Does she have your phone #? If she does, than why hasn't she called?

Btw, you may have scared her off a bit with all the texting, some people are like that.


Suzie
Last edited by 1Horselady; April 28,2011 at 10:13pm.
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #10  April 29,2011, 8:19am
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I didn't get to read the text messages before they were deleted, but it all seems pretty self-explanatory to me ...stop being all clingy and desperate-acting. sheez.

Mrcooldude wrote :
1. Any idea why she all of the sudden is ignoring me?
Yes, she is losing (or has lost) interest - duh.

Mrcooldude wrote :
2. If she doesnt call me back by saturday for the game what should I do?
If she doesn't call you back or show up, you should treat it as though you have been stood up and react accordingly ...preferrably by deleting her number, not answering her calls/texts, forgetting she exists, and moving on to someone who has greater respect for you than most people show to a dirty oil rag.

The real question, though, you should be asking yourself is ...what if she does call you back? ...because you need to address the fact that she's been ignoring you up until that point. You'll have to decide if whatever silly, weak excuse she comes up with is valid and ultimately forgivable ...but I promise you, if you let this "slide" without consequence, without letting her know that this behavior is unacceptable, then you will only be teaching her that it's ok to do it again ...and again ...and again ...

If she doesn't even bother to offer up a good excuse or doesn't seem all that apologetic (or is overly defensive) about it, don't be afraid to walk away. Failing to do so shows that not only are you clingy and desperate, but you're also stupid and gullible. She's probably seeing/found someone else.

Mrcooldude wrote :
Text her that day and ask her if shes still interested in going?


Mrcooldude wrote :
Or do I just wait for her to call me and if she doesnt call back then I just take a friend to the game instead and assume she's no longer interested?
Put a friend on backup, sure ...

...but, if she waits until the day of to get back in contact with you to confirm your plans or just shows up for the date, I'd just tell her "thanks, but after you ignored me when I asked you 2 days ago, I found someone else to go with me" ...and, then, go with someone else.

It's a respect issue. While I do not necessarily like the analogy in this perspective, the principle is pretty much the same ...have you ever heard the saying, "if a dog ever bites you, you have to put it down"? This is true for both men and women ..."if you are in a relationship (and 'dating' is a form of relationship) with someone who disrespects you, you have to be willing to put that relationship down and walk away"; otherwise, they'll just think it's ok to keep biting you.
 
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