Confused about this situation! Why isn't she talking to me?


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marcus_thames is offline marcus_thames Post #11  April 29,2011, 9:11am
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bikerbeagle, while I think you have good point about cooldude acting clingy, I also think you have unreal expectations of this woman, perhaps women in general.


How do you know something didn't come up for her, like maybe she is sick or even something happened with a friend/ family member of hers? Regardless, she is probably busy with something and it seems to me any rational, well adjusted man would understand that and also understand that he is in the early stages of a relationship so he is likely not her first priority at this early point.


Yes, it good for guys to have healthy confidence but being irrational and even jealous of her time is not part of that.


(And bikerbeagle just to clear I not excusing bad behavior by women; for example, I just saw a video of this lady named susie castillo acting like a shrill drama queen over the tsa and I really don't think women should act in such a poor manner. There ia good middle ground though. )
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #12  April 29,2011, 9:25am
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Mrcooldude wrote :
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So I have two questions:
1. Any idea why she all of the sudden is ignoring me? She has to be because this is so unlike any other day.
Who knows? Busy, had an accident, phone broken or stolen, lost interest ... Could be any number of reasons.
2. If she doesn't call me back by Saturday for the game what should I do? Text her that day and ask her if shes still interested in going? Or do I just wait for her to call me and if she doesn't call back then I just take a friend to the game instead and assume she's no longer interested? Just go to the game by yourself or ask another friend to go.

Any feedback will help... Thanks!
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #13  April 29,2011, 9:33am
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lobstermilkshake wrote :
Seems like you came off as too strong. She might think you're being clingy especially if she wasn't that interested in you to begin with. Don't text "you there?"

I know it's tempting but trust the process. She knows the ball is in her court. You don't need to remind her.
If they had just met then I might agree with you on this. However, they have been DATING for 5 weeks. In 5 weeks of dating there should be some sort of concept developed by each person as to their personality. You may come on too strong on the first or second date but after having dated for 5 weeks the strong or passiveness of your style and what is acceptable should be established. The same should be true of clingy.

And if she has decided that she is not all that interested, for whatever reason, stating so and saying goodbye is just good manners.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #14  April 29,2011, 10:33am
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If someone ignores me I delete their number but keep in mind sometimes texts disappear/don't reach their destination.

So failure to respond to a text doesn't necessarily indicate you are being ignored.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #15  April 29,2011, 10:35am
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marcus_thames wrote :
...
How do you know something didn't come up for her, like maybe she is sick or even something happened with a friend/ family member of hers? Regardless, she is probably busy with something and it seems to me any rational, well adjusted man would understand that and also understand that he is in the early stages of a relationship so he is likely not her first priority at this early point. ...
I didn't see the original texts but if someone is sick or busy with a family problem it only take 30 seconds to make a call or send a text saying "sorry, I'm busy" or "sorry, I will have to get back to you in a few days" etc
 
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marcus_thames is offline marcus_thames Post #16  April 29,2011, 10:47am
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As I said, no need to be irrational and/ or jealous of their time, especially at this early stage.
 
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KikiAZ is offline KikiAZ Post #17  April 29,2011, 3:16pm
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I am usually pretty on top of texts/calls. But stuff happens and I would not be pleased to be interrogated.
 
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Skippy705 is offline Skippy705 Post #18  April 29,2011, 5:12pm
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I live in a part of the country where in less than an hour there is absolutely no cell service. Only way to communicate with outside world is land line or satellite phone. I couldn't tell you my kids' cell phone numbers if I wanted to call them from someone else's phone. Couple of years ago was out of town with daughter at a soccer game and my phone died and the car charger decided to not work. Woman I was dating got worried as she couldn't reach me for 6-7 hours which was not normal for me. Daughter even forgot to bring her cell phone with us so I didn't have that to use and again, I couldn't have dialed a number I didn't know. Once I got home and got a charge on the phone she was upset but relieved. Life happens...

Moral of the story? Relax, the more you try the worse it gets for you. If she shows up, great! If not, good learning experience.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #19  April 29,2011, 7:34pm
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1Horselady wrote :
The only problem with no phone use is that even if she had it stolen, lost, or broken for whatever reason, couldn't she have borrowed another relative's phone, even for a quick message?
It depends... if she only has his phone number programmed in her cell phone, and the phone is lost or stolen, she may not have any other way to call or text him even with someone else's phone.

1Horselady wrote :
The same goes for computer use, why hasn't she borrowed a relatives's computer?
This is more likely, but my teens rarely use email anymore... it's "too slow." It's hard to know whether this couple has each other's email address from what's been posted, though they probably do.

1Horselady wrote :
I feel that if she doesn't contact him in another 24 hours, she is probably on her way out.
I think you are right, I was just looking for another possible explanation as to why he hasn't heard from her is all.
 
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1Horselady is offline 1Horselady Post #20  April 29,2011, 8:49pm
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
It depends... if she only has his phone number programmed in her cell phone, and the phone is lost or stolen, she may not have any other way to call or text him even with someone else's phone.



This is more likely, but my teens rarely use email anymore... it's "too slow." It's hard to know whether this couple has each other's email address from what's been posted, though they probably do.



I think you are right, I was just looking for another possible explanation as to why he hasn't heard from her is all.
The first and the second could well be true, except, don't you write down certain phone#'s and email addresses for people that are important to you? If she didn't have them with her I could understand that. But, still......she hasn't put forth any great effort to contact him now........has she? Especially if they have dated awhile, the longer the dating time period, the worse the NO CONTACT will be. And the resulting answer.

To the OP, have you heard anything from her yet?


Suzie
 
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